Strength, please
Sometimes life is so very difficult. Everytime i turn around, it seems like more and more of my friends are pairing up and pairing off. Of course, that could simply be on Facebook, and is completely false in real life. what is real these days? facebook? LJ? face-to-face communication? there are so many gadgets and ways of getting a hold of others that we seem to have gotten lost in it all.
back to the original problem, though. That of many of my friends coupling up. it really puts a ton of stress and pressure on those of us who are single. personally, i like being single. i've been that way most of my life, and it's a comfortable state for me. on the other hand, cuddling up with the boyfriend pillow when lonely is only comforting to a point. i mean, you have to have a really good imagination in order to be able to really feel someone hugging you and holding you when all that you have as a prop is that pillow.
it's not really that i'm lonely, because i'm satisfied with myself and who i am. i am never alone. i'm just not satisfied wtih something right now. maybe it's a case of wanting to know that there is someone out there for me. i don't even need to know who, just that there is someone. i really don't think that now is the time for a relationship for me, which is why i don't need to know who it is that's waiting, i simply want that assurance. why can i simply be happy with the fact that i'm living a good life for someone who is as single as i like to be? there is going to be so much time for me spent in a relationship, i should simply enjoy the single life that i have right now beofre i lose it.
let me explain: once i marry, it's going to be for life. in this day and age, there are so many divorces and splits & etc. i want to be in a relationship that lasts. it is going to be tough. it is very difficult for someone to be married to a minister. but i want a commitment that lasts. this means that once i get married, that's it. i'm in a relationship with someone for the rest of my life. lets say that the blessed event happens when i'm 27, and i live until i'm 87. that' s 60 years of being married. i need to know who i am so that i can be satisfied with me before that time. 27 years to balance out 60 years. my pre-married time doesn't even equal half of my married time.
so now we get to the question: why the heck to i even want to be in a relationship anyway? well, i don't. i simply don't want to feel like the train is passing me by, which is what i feel like right now.
back to the original problem, though. That of many of my friends coupling up. it really puts a ton of stress and pressure on those of us who are single. personally, i like being single. i've been that way most of my life, and it's a comfortable state for me. on the other hand, cuddling up with the boyfriend pillow when lonely is only comforting to a point. i mean, you have to have a really good imagination in order to be able to really feel someone hugging you and holding you when all that you have as a prop is that pillow.
it's not really that i'm lonely, because i'm satisfied with myself and who i am. i am never alone. i'm just not satisfied wtih something right now. maybe it's a case of wanting to know that there is someone out there for me. i don't even need to know who, just that there is someone. i really don't think that now is the time for a relationship for me, which is why i don't need to know who it is that's waiting, i simply want that assurance. why can i simply be happy with the fact that i'm living a good life for someone who is as single as i like to be? there is going to be so much time for me spent in a relationship, i should simply enjoy the single life that i have right now beofre i lose it.
let me explain: once i marry, it's going to be for life. in this day and age, there are so many divorces and splits & etc. i want to be in a relationship that lasts. it is going to be tough. it is very difficult for someone to be married to a minister. but i want a commitment that lasts. this means that once i get married, that's it. i'm in a relationship with someone for the rest of my life. lets say that the blessed event happens when i'm 27, and i live until i'm 87. that' s 60 years of being married. i need to know who i am so that i can be satisfied with me before that time. 27 years to balance out 60 years. my pre-married time doesn't even equal half of my married time.
so now we get to the question: why the heck to i even want to be in a relationship anyway? well, i don't. i simply don't want to feel like the train is passing me by, which is what i feel like right now.