Seen, heard or smelt to be believed
Blogger: ClankClank
Title: Seen, heard, smelt to be believed
Fandom: Transformers [G1]
Characters: Wheeljack, Ratchet
Warnings: Juvenile humour. Swearing. It’s only in one sentence, but it’s pretty much the entire sentence.
Knocked this out in about seven minutes. It's had a breif beta by Boom, but if you spot any mistakes please let me know.
“Hey Ratchet!”
Ratchet didn’t have time to turn around before Wheeljack cannonballed into him. The momentum transferred from the engineer to the medic and sent him flying into the batch of laser scalpels he’d just been sharpening.
“Damnit ‘Jack, someone had better be dead!”
“Eh.” Wheeljack replied sheepishly, pulling a laser scalpel out the side of Ratchet’s helmet. “Sorry. But oh! You need to look at this! It’s good. It’s gonna stop you and Inferno from yelling at me.”
“Sounds promising. I might forgive you. What is it?”
He grinned and struck what he no doubt believed was a dynamic pose, thrusting his finger into Ratchet’s face. “Pull it.” Wheeljack whispered. There was a rumbling noise and white foam ejected out over the med bay.
“What in blue-slagging-buggering fragface-fuck-shit knob-bollocking pit-hell was that?”
“It’s fire retardant foam. I’ve got it so it goes off above a certain temperature, and I’ve got a certain amount of conscious control over it so I should be able to use it to dampen down unplanned explosions!”
“And this comes out of where exactly?
“My rear access maintenance port.”
“Your rear access maintenance port of course. How silly of me, why didn’t I think of that? It’s not like we need it for maintenance or emergency repairs or anything.” Ratchet stared at the triumphant Wheeljack. “Also, do you know what humans use their afts for?”
“But it was the only orifice I wasn’t using!”
“You wrecked my equipment for that?” Ratchet whispered. He loomed over Wheeljack. He was very good at looming; he had the balance and the height so that he could tower over most autobot’s heads. Frowning, he smacked Wheeljack in the head.
Ratchet poked Wheeljack to make sure he was unconscious and giggled. Heehee. Farts.
Title: Seen, heard, smelt to be believed
Fandom: Transformers [G1]
Characters: Wheeljack, Ratchet
Warnings: Juvenile humour. Swearing. It’s only in one sentence, but it’s pretty much the entire sentence.
Knocked this out in about seven minutes. It's had a breif beta by Boom, but if you spot any mistakes please let me know.
“Hey Ratchet!”
Ratchet didn’t have time to turn around before Wheeljack cannonballed into him. The momentum transferred from the engineer to the medic and sent him flying into the batch of laser scalpels he’d just been sharpening.
“Damnit ‘Jack, someone had better be dead!”
“Eh.” Wheeljack replied sheepishly, pulling a laser scalpel out the side of Ratchet’s helmet. “Sorry. But oh! You need to look at this! It’s good. It’s gonna stop you and Inferno from yelling at me.”
“Sounds promising. I might forgive you. What is it?”
He grinned and struck what he no doubt believed was a dynamic pose, thrusting his finger into Ratchet’s face. “Pull it.” Wheeljack whispered. There was a rumbling noise and white foam ejected out over the med bay.
“What in blue-slagging-buggering fragface-fuck-shit knob-bollocking pit-hell was that?”
“It’s fire retardant foam. I’ve got it so it goes off above a certain temperature, and I’ve got a certain amount of conscious control over it so I should be able to use it to dampen down unplanned explosions!”
“And this comes out of where exactly?
“My rear access maintenance port.”
“Your rear access maintenance port of course. How silly of me, why didn’t I think of that? It’s not like we need it for maintenance or emergency repairs or anything.” Ratchet stared at the triumphant Wheeljack. “Also, do you know what humans use their afts for?”
“But it was the only orifice I wasn’t using!”
“You wrecked my equipment for that?” Ratchet whispered. He loomed over Wheeljack. He was very good at looming; he had the balance and the height so that he could tower over most autobot’s heads. Frowning, he smacked Wheeljack in the head.
Ratchet poked Wheeljack to make sure he was unconscious and giggled. Heehee. Farts.