FIC: "The First Step Is The Hardest" 2/2 (Harry Sinclair, Karl Urban, Orlando Bloom)

[azewewish]

Title: "The First Step Is The Hardest" 2/2
Authors: Brenda & Jo (azewewish & idiosyncratic)
Featuring: Dave Wenham, Harry Sinclair, Karl Urban, Lawrence Makoare, Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen
Rating: R (language)
Click here for full disclaimers and notes.



Harry looked like he was going to say something, but Karl beat him to it. "Why?" he asked, and Orlando would have bristled at the question, but Karl looked genuinely sincere. "Is it because we came after you or because of Viggo or -?"

Orlando shook his head. "I want to come home. Hell, I should have come home months ago. I just...it went on so long and I kept thinking, I'll know when I'm ready, and I am ready now, and not because..." God, he was seriously fucking this up. "I'm not stupid, I know it's going to take some work for the two of you to forgive me and for us to...get back on equal footing or whatever it is. But seeing the two of you, just, I dunno, it reminded me that this is where I belong. With the both of you."

"And Dave?" Harry asked softly, and Orlando was smart enough to know there was more to the question than what was just on the surface. He wasn't sure if he caught all of the under-currents - at least, not yet - but he thought he had a pretty good idea on where to start.

"I love him," he replied, careful to keep his voice level, even. "I'll always love him. But he's not you. He's not Karl. He's not...I don't belong with him. I wouldn't have gone through the unmaking if I thought I did, and I know that my actions, uh, recently, haven't exactly given either of you any reason to believe me, but it's the truth."

Karl and Harry looked at each other, and Orlando didn't even attempt to eavesdrop. (Not that he thought he could.) He just held his breath, waiting for their decision. He knew he was balanced on a very precarious edge and that they could choose to go back to Los Angeles and leave him there with Dave. It would, in all honestly, be no more than he deserved.

But he also knew that if they left without him, it was over.

So he stayed silent and waited, wanting to say so much more, but not wanting to tip the scales in any way. Then Harry nodded, and the knot around Orlando's heart eased a little more.

"We want you to come home," Karl said, and Orlando was careful to focus on him. "But this is far from settled."

"I know," Orlando said, relief flooding through him. "I know. And I swear I'll make this up to the both of you."

"Not just us. You abandoned your job and your friends as well."

Orlando winced, knowing that Karl spoke nothing but the truth. "I know," he said once more. "And I'll fix that. I'll fix all of it." He paused, chewing on his lip again as he studied them, taking note of the fact that Harry was allowing Karl to do the talking. Which didn't really reassure Orlando much. "Not to...to change the subject, but, um...Aubrey really didn't tell you anything?"

"Of course not." Karl sounded puzzled by the question. "She was respecting your wishes."

A small, warm glow spread through him at the thought that she was looking out for him, even though he'd pretty much abandoned her, too. He had a ton of making up to do. "So, you did ask her."

"No, I merely asked if anything happened I needed to concern myself with, and she said that it was up to you to tell me, and that was the end of it." A brief smile flickered across Karl's face. "I do have some tact."

"No, I know, it's just...and Josh didn't say anything to you, either?" Which, yeah, he'd asked Josh not to say anything at the time, but that had been over three months ago, and Josh's first loyalty would - rightfully so - be to Karl over him, so, maybe he'd cracked. Orlando wouldn't have blamed him if he had.

"I never asked and he never volunteered," Karl replied. "I would never put myself between you like that. It would be unfair to your friendship and my relationship with the both of you."

Orlando's eyes slid to Harry and found Harry watching him. His heart skipped a beat. At some point, Orlando knew, he was going to have to sit down and confess to everything that had happened the last three months. But not right now; at least, not more than a simple admission to what Karl had already figured out.

Looking down at his hands once more, Orlando toyed with the signet ring on his left hand. "It turns out," he said, deliberately not looking at either of them, "that I'm not quite as gay as I'd thought. And I don't...well, to be honest, it's still freaking me the fuck out. But that's no excuse, I know. I have been a complete ass and fucked everything up, and I'm sorry."

"You didn't fuck everything up," Harry said, and for the first time Orlando could sense a faint hint of amusement in the bond. He almost wept with relief.

Instead, he lifted his head and looked directly at Harry. "I still want you for my Sire," he said, neither voice nor gaze wavering. "And when you are ready...I would like you to give me the Gift."

"And if it takes years or decades?"

Orlando flinched, but didn't look away. Decades. Fuck. He clung to the hope that Harry was simply speaking in hypotheticals. "Then I'll be patient. Like you said, it's not like I'm going to age like a normal mortal or anything, and maybe...I think you were right. About us needing to concentrate on the pet bond and strengthening that before we add anything else to it." He turned his gaze to Karl. "Same for you. I think, uh, we've let that bond slide a little bit."

"Agreed," Karl smiled, and Orlando let out a relieved breath.

"Also agreed," Harry added. "I can't give you a timetable, and I'm sorry for that. But just know that I would have never let you go through with the unmaking if I wasn't sure that this was a bond I wanted with you, when we're both ready."

"I'm ready now. But I'm willing to wait."

With that, he gave in to the almost overwhelming urge to touch them. Without a word, he slipped from the chair and moved to perch on the edge of the coffee table. Reaching to take their hands, Orlando was glad when they didn't pull away. "I love you both," he said, quietly, gaze shifting from Karl to Harry and back. "More than I can express, and I am so sorry that I hurt you and disappointed you and shut you out. And just so there's no confusion, I know where I belong and who I belong with, and that's the two of you. I'm through running."

"That's enough to start," Karl said, and turned his hand over to squeeze Orlando's.

Harry just nodded. "If I hadn't wanted you home, I wouldn't have gotten on the plane with Karl. But just so we're both clear on this, you're not ready, no matter what you tell me or yourself. Not until you've truly learned patience."

Orlando let out a small laugh. He knew what that meant. "What you're really saying is, you're going to teach it to me, whether I think I need it or not."

"I've been told I'm a master at it."

Karl snorted. "You're worse than Job at times. It's not one of your more endearing qualities."

"You know you're just as bad when you want to be," Harry replied, not sounding the least bit annoyed. "You were patient enough when it came to me."

"Until I got tired of waiting. Sorry," Karl said, squeezing Orlando's hand again. "It's an old argument."

"I don't mind," Orlando replied, truthfully. "I've missed it. I mean, the two of you bickering like the old married couple you are."

"Speaking of that..." Karl trailed off, shifted, then looked at Harry.

Something in his tone made Orlando immediately wary. A small voice told him that he was not going to like the next words out of Karl's mouth. But Harry was the one who spoke.

"We've decided to go through the iunctum."

Of all the things Harry could have said, that was the very last thing on a very long list. "Oh," Orlando managed, shock hitting him so hard that nothing else came to him for a long moment. He had no idea how he should feel (or how he was supposed to feel), so he clamped down on his emotions, slid his tongue over his bottom lip, and tried again. "That's great. It really is. Congratulations."

"Orlando," Karl began, but stopped when Orlando shook his head.

"No, it is great," Orlando said, managing a small, but real smile as he squeezed their hands before pulling back a little to curl his hands in his lap. "I'm still surprised you never did it before."

"It's a long story why we didn't," Harry shrugged, then captured Orlando's hand again. "And we're not doing it unless you and Josh give your blessing."

"Our blessing?" Orlando frowned. "Why would that matter?"

"That's a silly question," Karl replied. "It matters because you and Josh matter, and if Harry and I going through the iunctum gave either of you pause or grief or made either of you think less of the bonds we have with you, then we won't do it."

"But we don't matter." Orlando gently extracted his hand from Harry's and held it up. "Just...let me explain, alright."

He took a minute to compose his thoughts - which, admittedly, were all kinds of tangled up and all over the map - then looked between them. "I mean, I can't speak for Josh, but I kinda can, because we've talked about it more than once. We know you love us, Karl, and I know you love me, Harry, so this isn't about that. But...I'm not first. I'll never be first, not with either of you, and Josh'll never be first with you," he said to Karl. "And it's...it's okay, because it's not like I ever had a chance, or Josh, and that's...it's okay," he repeated, then amended, because he owed them the truth, "or it will be. I am genuinely happy for you both. You should have done this centuries ago."

"I agree, but you know this isn't...it's not a competition," Karl said softly. "It never has been."

"I don't look at it as a competition. Then he saw the look that passed between them. "I don't. If I did, I'd've left a long time ago, because I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning."

"I'm sensing a but," Harry said after a long moment.

"But," Orlando said, and offered them as real a smile as he could manage, "it would be nice to be first with someone. To have what the two of you have. But don't think that I regret bonding to either one of you, because I don't. And if you even think about suggesting something else, I'm going to hit you so hard..."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Karl said, drily, ignoring Harry's muffled snort.

"Good," Orlando said, giving Karl another dark look before nodding. "Look, I know you both love me. I have never doubted that. And the fact that you both chose me...that means so much. It's just...I guess I never really had it hit me before. Not like this. But for what it's worth, you have my blessing."

"You won't always be mortal," Harry said, with a look that seemed to see straight through into Orlando's soul. "I can tell you firsthand that the jealousy will fade."

"It's such an ugly word," Karl stated. "I never understood why mortals never called it what it really was - insecurity."

Harry and Orlando exchanged a look, and in that moment, Orlando knew he really was going to be alright. Maybe not today or even next week or next month, but he'd be fine. They would be fine. "That's because you've never had to deal with insecurity or jealousy," Harry replied, in a dry voice.

"And if you did, it'd be over Harry and no one else, so I don't think it counts," Orlando added, just to see Karl's familiar scowl. And the resultant one was a thing of beauty.

"And you think I couldn't feel that way over you?" Karl asked, all icy dignity.

Orlando let out a soft hoot of laughter. "Not in this lifetime. And possibly not the next one, either."

"Not even because of that lovely young woman who answered the door?"

"Ah..." Orlando had to resist the urge to squirm.

"She was exceptional," Harry agreed, looking far more amused than Orlando thought was necessary.

"She was," Karl said, nodding, watching Orlando closely even as a slow smile spread across Karl's face.

"Yas is more your speed," Orlando blurted out, then wished he hadn't when two sets of eyebrows shot up. Fuck it all, one of these days he really was going to learn to think before speaking. Today, however, didn't seem to be that day.

"There are two of them," Karl said to Harry, who nodded.

"Is Yas as lovely as...?"

"Yana," Orlando muttered, then crossed his arms over his chest and gave them a mutinous look. "And we're not having this discussion. Stop trying to change the subject."

Karl gave Orlando a mild look. "Is that what we were doing?"

"I rather thought it was the other way around."

"Did anyone ever tell you two that it's not nice when you both gang up on people?" Orlando asked, with a frown.

"It has been mentioned more than once," Harry replied, with a wide grin. "But we never paid it too much attention."

"You wouldn't."

"I'd just like to know why we're not discussing these two ladies," Karl said. "Will they be joining us in coming back to L.A.?"

They were doing it deliberately, Orlando was sure of it. "No," he said, deciding to just give in to the inevitable. "They're not...it's not like that."

"So, you haven't been sleeping with them?" Orlando frowned at Harry, who just gave him a patient look. "I'm not prying, it's an honest question."

As much as Orlando really, really didn't want to be having this talk, he didn't exactly want to lie to Karl and Harry, either. "I was. I mean, it's not...they're here because of Lawrence and Dave, not me. I was just, um, enjoying the perks for awhile."

"And would Dave," Karl said, sharing an amused look with Harry, "tell the same story if we asked him?"

"You do remember that he lives to get me in trouble, right?"

"That's not an answer." Karl looked thoroughly delighted when Orlando frowned at him.

"They didn't move in for me," Orlando says, still ignoring the question. "I mean, we have fun - at least I think they have fun because they haven't complained - but it's not like that, okay?"

When Harry leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees, Orlando leaned back. He was all too familiar with that look in Harry's eyes. "So why don't you tell us what it's like? Because right now, you're protesting far too much for a man who is simply, how did you put it, enjoying the perks."

"This is punishment for me disappearing on you for three months, isn't it?"

"No, this is your two bonded mates being curious about this newfound part of your sexuality," Harry corrected. "We're taking a breather on the reason for the missing three months right now."

"Although we will be getting back to it, so don't think you're squirming out of that conversation," Karl added.

"Remind me why I missed you both again," Orlando frowned, well aware he was pouting.

"That's for you to decide," Harry shrugged.

"Fine." He glared at both of them, not that he thought it would help, and sat back. "It was my idea. I mean, seeing if Aubrey was just...y'know, an Aubrey thing or a liking girls thing...so, yeah, anyway, Dave and I went out clubbing. And we met Yas and Yana and, um, it's not. Just an Aubrey thing, I mean."

"Meaning you confirmed you're truly bisexual?" Karl asked, with a perfectly composed expression.

"Yes," Orlando answered, grateful that they hadn't pressed for, well, details. "But it wasn't until the girls met Lawrence - he was out of town when we met them, um, I think in Shanghai - that things got...they really took to Lawrence. And Dave. Together. Did I mention Yas and Yana are a couple? Anyway, um, they moved in last month and they've been mostly sleeping with just each other."

If he didn't die of embarrassment in the next ten minutes, it was going to be a bloody miracle.

"And how do you feel about that now?"

"Them mostly with..." Orlando trailed off as Harry shook his head. Of course that hadn't been Harry's question. "Still a little freaked out," he finally admitted. "And, I dunno, I guess I'm not sure I really believe it still. But...um..." He cleared his throat. He was positive that his face had to be eighteen shades of crimson. "It's...nice. And, ah...I seem to have a type. According to Dave."

"And what's your type?" Karl asked, though his expression said he already knew.

"Um, curvy. And, uh, ballsy, I guess."

Harry and Karl exchanged a look he couldn't quite decipher, then Harry looked at him again. "So you like your men to be men and your women to be women?"

"Something like that," Orlando mumbled, then sighed. "I guess you two'll be wanting to meet them."

"All in good time," Karl said, patting his knee.

"But we have other, more important things to focus on," Harry said, and just like that, tension started humming through Orlando again.

"This is about Dave, isn't it?" he guessed.

"It's about many things," Harry said, which wasn't exactly reassuring.

"The main one being?"

"That we're all on the same page going forward," Harry quietly said, reaching out to cup Orlando's chin in his free hand. "We know we have your love, little one. But you have to figure out where your loyalties lie and what your priorities are."

"I don't -"

"Let me ask you something," Harry interrupted, and Orlando immediately went silent. "Do you believe we would have kept you from Dave if we had known of all of this in advance?"

Orlando shook his head. Never in a thousand years would they keep him from Dave, he believed that with every fiber of his being. All he'd ever had to do was...oh. "Oh."

Harry nodded. "Our problem wasn't with you coming to Dave. Though we will be discussing his collusion with him in detail."

At the word 'collusion' Orlando felt the blood drain from his face. He'd been working for Viggo long enough to know what that meant. "Harry...he didn't...you can't...he thought you knew."

"You lied to him," Karl stated, simply.

"Yes," Orlando admitted, miserable as he looked at them. "He kept saying I should talk to you, so I..."

Karl and Harry shared a long look, then Karl sat back. "He knew," Harry said, and Orlando just nodded, eyes dropping to the floor. "It was simply a way to keep you happy. We've all indulged your whims far too long, Orlando, so I think that's going to be the first thing we work on."

"You make me sound like some sort of spoiled child," Orlando said, but there wasn't any heat in it. Josh had called him the same thing once. Hell, even Dom and Elijah had joked about it.

"In some ways, that's exactly what you are," Karl replied, gently. "But that's as much our fault as it is yours."

"Not really. I mean, I am an adult. I was one when I met you guys, I just..." He trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to say next. He hated that Dave was going to have to bear the brunt of anyone's anger for him again. "You're not gonna tell Viggo that Dave knew, are you?"

"It's none of Viggo's business," Karl assured him, and Orlando breathed a sigh of relief. That was one less thing to worry about. Collusion where pets were concerned was a really serious offense, and on top of the punishment Dave was already serving? It didn't bear thinking about.

"I would ask that you not be too hard on him. He may have known deep inside that I was lying, but the blame in this is mine, Harry. If I must make it a formal request, I will."

Harry studied Orlando in return, as did Karl. But Orlando held himself still under the scrutiny, aware that they had to start somewhere. "You're willing to do that?"

"I am," Orlando nodded. "I do love him, you know that, and I won't have him suffer for my actions. Not this time. I'm not asking for complete leniency, just..."

"That won't be necessary, but I'll take it under consideration. And I can promise that no permanent harm will come to him from me or Karl. As for you..."

"As you stated, you're not a child, so we won't treat you like one," Karl continued. "But part of being an adult is taking control of one's destiny and taking responsibility for one's actions."

"I understand," Orlando nodded, and he did. He knew he had so much to make up for. "I won't let either of you down again."

"Yes you will," Karl corrected, in a gentle tone. "We'll let each other down, it's inevitable. The important thing is that we treat each other with respect and honesty."

Orlando heard what Karl wasn't saying as clearly as if he'd shouted it. Respect and honesty - two things he hadn't been giving to either Harry or Karl of late. "I vow to both of you that I will do my best to treat you and the bonds with more respect and care," he said, aware his voice was shaking, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Harry and Karl knew he was serious. "No matter how long it takes, I'll do whatever I need to regain your trust."

"Your vow is accepted."

Orlando reached out to catch Karl's hand. "I know what my priorities are," he said. "You and Harry. And nothing else matters."

"We're not asking you to lock yourself away," Harry told him gently. "Just to remember those priorities and how important you are to both of us."

Orlando blinked rapidly to try to stop the well of tears that threatened to fall. "I don't deserve either of you," he breathed, overwhelmed with emotion.

"I think that's for us to decide, not you," Karl told him, and squeezed his hand. "If we didn't think we deserved each other, we wouldn't be here."

"Well, I'm glad you came," Orlando stated, trying to infuse it with everything he was feeling.

They sat there together for several minutes that felt like an eternity. Honestly, Orlando was just glad that they were there, that he didn't have to shield himself any longer, and that they weren't planning on taking his punishment out of his flesh.

With Harry, that was always an option.

Finally, Orlando stood slowly, not quite able to meet the curious looks turned his way. "I'll go get Dave," he said, slipping away from Harry's hand. "Just...don't go anywhere."

He walked out of the living room without looking back, knowing if he didn't he wouldn't be able to leave.

Dave and Aiyana were in the kitchen when Orlando found them, talking quietly and cradling coffee mugs. If Orlando know Aiyana at all, they were both liberally laced with brandy. She tended to like her coffee with a kick.

"You look like shite, Orli," Aiyana stated, and Orlando had to smile. She wasn't one to mince words.

"It looks worse than it is," he said, eyes fastened on Dave. "They want to talk to you, love."

"I thought they might," Dave said, and slowly stood. "Are you alright?"

"I'm good," Orlando assured him. "Promise."

"So those were your vampires, hmm?" Aiyana asked, arching an eyebrow.

"In the flesh," Orlando said, and sat in the chair that Dave had vacated.

Aiyana shook her head. "Precioso, you confuse me. If I had two hot men like that warming my bed, I wouldn't be this far from them unless I had to be."

"And lucky for me and Lawrence, you don't," Dave winked, then dropped a kiss to her hair before walking out of the room.

"It's complicated," Orlando told her, when she simply looked at him. He wondered if it was too early to start drinking the hard stuff.

***

Dave raised his hand to knock on the door, then let it fall. It was his bloody house. Damned if he'd ask permission to enter any of the rooms. Instead, he stepped inside with a confidence he was far from feeling, and shut the door behind him. Harry and Karl were sitting side by side (as always) on one of the sofas. "You wanted to see me?"

Harry gestured at the chair across from them. "Have a seat."

"Before this goes any farther," Dave said, one hand on the back of the chair, "I just wanted -"

"There's no need to defend him," Karl said, quietly. "He's not in as much trouble as he thinks he is."

Dave sank into the chair, frowning. "I'm confused."

"Let's just say that yes, we're far from happy with the child at the moment, but we'll work through it," Karl continued, watching Dave with a neutral expression. "And given the way his mind tends to build things up until they're of catastrophic proportions..."

"You're letting him set his own punishment," Dave finished, a little in awe of the tactic and wondering why he'd never thought of it. With Orlando's penchant for exaggeration, he'd be able to come up with a far worse punishment for himself than anyone else could.

"Call it amends," Harry said. "But this isn't about Orlando or his actions."

No, Dave didn't expect it was. But other than providing Orlando with a place to stay and taking care of him for the last three months, Dave wasn't entirely sure of what he'd done wrong this time. And he told them as much.

They looked at him for so long that he had to resist the urge to squirm. Damn it, they should not be able to make him feel like a fledgling again. He wasn't theirs anymore.

"While we are grateful that Orlando was safe," Harry finally said, "do you honestly not see how what you did could be painted as collusion?"

"Collusion?" What the fuck? "No. No way in hell, Harry. He never told me that he was hiding from you or avoiding you or whatever it was. And more than once, I asked him if he'd talked to either of you. He assured me he had, and since I know he was in contact with Viggo. I saw several of the emails and texts they exchanged."

Harry's gaze was still hard. "This isn't about Viggo. Orlando may work for him, but he's not bound to him."

"And, be honest, Dave, how hard did you really try to make sure he was in contact with us?" Karl asked. "In Orlando's own words, you know him better than anyone. You knew, deep down, that he was lying to you."

"I..." Dave stopped, and thought about what they'd said. Yes, of course, he knew Orlando. Inside and out. They'd been bonded by blood, as well as being lovers, for over a decade. Even after he'd moved to London, he and Orlando still talked and visited all the time, and even in this past year of exile, they'd kept in almost constant contact with each other through Skype and texts. He knew the way Orlando's mind worked, and how he operated, and how much of a master Orlando was at manipulating events and people.

"I just...I missed him," he finally said, letting the truth of it sink into him. "And as long as he was telling me what I wanted to hear..."

"We know," Harry said, in a far more gentle tone. "The two of you are remarkably similar in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to not dealing with unpleasant truths."

"Which in this case is, the unpleasant truth is he's not yours anymore," Karl added, in the same gentle tone Harry'd just used. "We know you both love each other, and we would never stand in the way of that. But his place is no longer with you."

Dave flinched, but didn't try to deny it. Harry waited a beat, then spoke again. "He's never going to grow up, not truly, until we all stop indulging him. And you have to stop undermining our bond with him."

"I have never deliberately done anything to damage those bonds," Dave said, allowing himself to feel a little anger. "Even if I had no respect or love for either of you, I would never do that to Orlando. You're his bloody world, Harry, and I love him too much to interfere with that. I won't deny that I gave him a home and a shoulder, and an ear, but to accuse me of collusion?" he snapped, refusing to allow either of them the chance to speak. Not now that he'd built up a decent head of steam. "To tell me I'm undermining your bonds? I've done nothing but give him my full support and love since the day I met him, even when I hated him a little because he had you, so fuck you very much."

"Are you finished?"

"I don't know, am I?" Dave glared at Harry, who didn't even move. "You come into my home, accuse me -"

"Am I going to have to physically shut you up?" Harry interrupted, lifting an eyebrow. "Because I'm willing to take on Lawrence's wrath right now."

"You wouldn't."

"You know me better than that."

"No one's saying you did it deliberately," Karl said, with a warning glance Harry's way. "We both know you respect Orlando's bonds with us, and would never seek to damage them. But it doesn't mean you haven't been doing it anyway."

"The word collusion was used," Dave ground out, flexing and unflexing his hands in an attempt to keep from lashing out. "That implies deliberation and forethought. I may be in exile, but I didn't bloody forget everything I learned from being Viggo's right-hand man."

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Karl shook his head to stop him, then let out a breath. They seemed to have some sort of internal argument, then Harry nodded, and Karl turned his gaze back to Dave. "Are you going to sit there and deny that you would always deliberately take Orlando's side in any argument or disagreement or fight, no matter who it was with or what it affected?"

"Of course I would, he's..." He stopped abruptly, as the full import of the question sank in, and slumped back into his seat.

"And now you realize our dilemma where you're concerned," Karl finished, in a much softer voice. "There's never been a pet like Orlando, and there's never been a relationship like the one you and Orlando have with each other. And as long as Orlando can run to one of us - can use one of us - to escape, then the bonds will be undermined. Deliberately or not."

"Then I suggest that you learn how to make him talk to you. Because right now there are still things he's not comfortable discussing with you or Harry, and as long as that's the case, I'm not the one you need to worry about."

"That's one of the things we plan on working on," Harry said, after a quick glance at Karl. "But it has to be made clear to Orlando that he can't ditch everything and run to you when he has a problem. That's no longer your responsibility."

"Don't take him away from me," Dave begged, voice cracking in the middle of his words.

"I'm not. I wouldn't," Harry replied, quietly. "But I am asking that you take a step back for now. If Orlando and Karl and I can't correct these issues, he'll never be ready for the Gift again. Everything I'm doing is for his own good, to help him become the man we all know he can be."

"Fine, you have my word. I'll keep to myself until he's finished growing up." Then Dave let out a soft, mirthless laugh as he looked over at Karl. "And about what I said earlier, just so we're clear, I would never take Orlando's side if it meant damaging his health or happiness," he said, then braced his hands on the arms of the chair in preparation to stand. "For the record, I took your side, Harry, in the argument over his fangs."

"Thank you for that. I know how hard that must have been for you."

"But it wasn't." Dave stressed each word. He wanted no doubt at all between them, not on something this important. "It wasn't hard at all. I may be stuck here, and I know it's my fault that I am, and I know that I abused the trust you had in me when I was Orlando's Sire, but that doesn't mean I don't get what you're trying to do. Why you're saying no."

Then he stood. "I'll make sure he's packed and ready to leave whenever you are." He couldn't stay in this room, with them. Not right now.

"Thank you. Tell Orlando we'll be at our usual suite whenever he's ready. Take your time," Karl added, then stood, along with Harry. "We'll see ourselves out."

"You don't have to leave," Dave said, turning his head just enough to see them over his shoulder. "I'm sure Orlando would like to spend more time with you. And Lawrence would like to see you as well."

"Perhaps later," Karl said.

"Definitely later," Harry said, taking a step towards Dave. "Right now, though, we all have things to think over. After...then we'll talk again."

"Fair enough," Dave replied, nodding once. "Orlando's in the kitchen if you'd like to see him before you leave."

With that, Dave walked from the living room, cellphone already in his hand to call Lawrence. He heard the soft "thank you," but didn't turn. He couldn't.

***

"Like I said, it's complicated," Orlando repeated, with a soft laugh, as he finished an abbreviated version of the events that had led him here, and put Harry and Karl on Dave's doorstep.

"Guess so," Aiyana replied, reaching over to pat his hand before standing and going to the coffee pot.

Some sixth sense had Orlando's head whipping around to find Harry and Karl standing in the doorway, watching him. "Hey," he softly said, half out of his chair before Harry waved him back down. "Is...is everything okay?"

"It will be," Karl said, with a smile. "We were on our way out and thought we'd say goodbye."

"You're leaving??"

"Just going to the hotel," Harry assured him.

"Oh, um, okay." Orlando tried to control the racing of his heart. For one terrifying moment, he'd thought...well, it didn't matter. They weren't leaving London without him. It was enough. "Do you want me to come by later or...?"

"If you want," Karl said. "But if you find you're too busy, we'll certainly understand."

Orlando glanced at Aiyana, who smothered a smile behind her hand. He could feel the blush creep over his cheeks. "Um...uh, have you two met Aiyana yet? I mean, formally?"

"No, we haven't." Harry turned to her and offered a slight bow before taking her hand and kissing the back of it. "Harry Sinclair, at your service."

Karl also took her hand, repeating the kiss. "Karl Urban. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure's mine," she said, smiling up at them. "Orlando's told me so much about the both of you."

"Has he?" Karl asked, arching an eyebrow in Orlando's direction. "Good things, I hope."

"Very good," she agreed, before moving back to the coffee pot. "Would you care for a cup before you leave?"

"No, thank you," Harry said. He was close enough to touch, but Orlando kept his hands folded in his lap. Once again, he couldn't read Harry's expression, and the bond was muted (Orlando couldn't help wondering if Dave had been right all along about Harry muffling it). At the moment, Orlando wanted nothing more than to reach out, to slide his hand along Harry's, but he wasn't sure of his reception.

"Why don't..." He paused, licked his lips, and tried again. "I'll come to the hotel later, and maybe, um, we can have dinner. Just the three of us."

"That'd be nice," Karl said, then came around the table. Before Orlando could move, Karl'd lifted his chin and placed a brief kiss to his lips. It was, he realized suddenly, the first time either of them had kissed him. "We'll see you later tonight?"

Orlando nodded mutely, then looked at Harry. After a brief pause (Orlando didn't think anyone who didn't know Harry very well would have caught it at all), Harry brushed his lips across Orlando's cheek. He resisted the urge to turn his head and turn it into a real kiss. He knew, without asking, that he'd have to earn that privilege again.

//I love you, little one.//

Startled, Orlando lifted his eyes to meet Harry's gaze. Harry smiled, and - for just a moment - their bond was wide open and Orlando could sense everything Harry was feeling. He gripped the table as a tidal wave of emotion flooded through him - love, acceptance, forgiveness - and felt dizzy the second the bond was shuttered again.

Helplessly, he looked up, drawing a shallow, ragged breath. "Harry, I -" But, before he could move or even finish his thought, Harry and Karl had left the room.

"C'mon, love," Aiyana said, hooking her arm through his and pulling him from his chair before pressing a cup of coffee into his hand. "Let's take a walk, get some fresh air. Careful with that now, I put a shot of Bailey's in it. Thought you might need it."

"I...thank you," Orlando replied, still dazed, but he let her pull him from the kitchen without protest.

***

Dave sprawled in the middle of the bed, legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. The silence of the house was almost oppressive, but Lawrence would be home soon. At least Dave hoped he would.

"Fuck," he said, rubbing a hand over his face. As glad as he was that Aiyana had taken Orlando out, Dave missed the two of them (and Yasmine, who was at work) and the way their laughter filled the house as they tried to one-up each other. It's for the best, he told himself, knowing that taking that step back was going to be hard on him, and hard on Orlando, regardless of how much it was needed. "Fuck!"

"Well, if you insist, but I got the feeling that you wanted me home for more than just my body," Lawrence said, strolling into the room, and loosening the cuff buttons of his shirt so he could roll up the sleeves.

"Lawrence..." His voice broke as Lawrence lowered himself to sit beside Dave on the bed. He took one of Dave's hands in his own, thumb moving across the knuckles. Dave clung to him, re-centered himself with the contact, then tugged until Lawrence took the hint and laid down beside him.

Lawrence brushed a few errant strands of hair from Dave's forehead. "Talk to me."

Where to even start? "Harry and Karl are in London. They, um, they came for Orlando."

"I can't say I'm surprised," Lawrence mused. "Only that it's taken them this long. I wouldn't let you run and hide from me for over three months, I can tell you that."

"They accused me of collusion."

"Did they?"

Dave rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. "I don't think they meant it, not really, but fuck," he said. "They're taking him home."

"Again, can't say I'm surprised. We both knew this was a temporary thing, love. He belongs with them. How's he doing?"

"Yana took him out. He was..." Dave shook his head, then reached for Lawrence's hand again. "He was quiet. And I think a little scared."

"Not of them surely," Lawrence said, propping up on one elbow to look down at Dave.

"No, of course not. But the situation itself?" Dave shrugged, then shifted closer, relaxing as he pressed against Lawrence in one long line. "I mean, I have no doubt that he'll have Harry wrapped around his little finger again inside a month, but right now he's scared."

"Admittedly, you know Harry better than I do, but I know I wouldn't forgive and forget so easily if you'd done what Orlando's been doing. I don't blame him for being scared."

"What would you do? I mean, if I was your pet?"

"And you left me to live with your former Sire-slash-current lover for three months and didn't contact me?" Lawrence shrugged. "Let's just say it wouldn't be pretty."

"You knew?" Dave blinked, certain he hadn't heard that correctly. "You knew that he hadn't been in touch with them since he's been here?"

"It was obvious he was running from L.A., and from them. And, despite what clever story he spun for you, you knew the truth, too. You've allowed yourself to become blind where he's concerned."

"Maybe. But it's Orlando. And even though I'm not his Sire any longer, I'd still take a bullet for him."

"I know. And he knows, as well. But that doesn't change anything."

"I know. It's just that I miss him."

Lawrence's laugh was soft and warm. "I know you do. But a separation will be good for him. In fact, I think the past three months away from his bond mates have done wonders for him."

"How so?"

"When they're around, I've noticed he tends to...place himself in the background, if you follow. He's overtly deferential to the point of submersing his own personality, which doesn't fit who he is when they're not around."

"He was like that when he had his fangs, too. I made fun of it a lot - the way he got all formal with them and called them My Lord and such, which I knew made Harry very uncomfortable. But Orlando has these...antiquated notions. And he's stubborn."

"Yes he is," Lawrence chuckled. "But not having them around - being forced to do things on his own and be out in the world on his own - I think it's helped him to re-center himself and who he is. Who they fell in love with."

"Well, I never let him get away with shit like that," Dave shrugged. "I mean, I know I indulge him way too much, but -"

"You allow him to fuck up, and you call him on his bullshit."

"Harry used to call him on his bullshit all the time. I have no idea what happened." Once again, Dave cursed the fact that he was stuck on this island, his own fault be damned.

"You don't think his unmaking had anything to do with it?" Lawrence asked.

"Maybe?" Dave fell silent as he thought over those first few days after Orlando's unmaking, when he'd been so fragile, and how on edge Harry had been. "I think, maybe, the fact that Orlando could very well have died on that table...just the idea of losing him...I know there were a lot of times when his recovery frustrated the hell out of Harry, but...Orlando and I talked about this a couple times, about how Harry's been a lot more lenient, even when Orlando's deliberately pushed hard. The only thing he hasn't budged on is Orlando getting his fangs again."

"Maybe that's part of the problem," Lawrence said. "Just hear me out. Maybe coming face to face with the idea of losing Orlando so soon after completing the pet bond altered their relationship. Made Harry, I dunno, more hesitant with him, maybe? And maybe, if that's true -- and I'm not saying it is -- but maybe what Orlando wants isn't at all what he's going to need."

Dave frowned at Lawrence's words. "What he needs?"

"Yes." Lawrence seemed to draw into himself for a moment, and Dave was silent, letting him gather himself. Finally, Lawrence opened his eyes and gave Dave a steady, serious look. "I'm only basing this on my own observations and interactions with Orlando, but I truly think that having Harry for a Sire is precisely what Orlando wants, but it's the last thing he needs."

Of all the things Dave expected Lawrence to say, this was the furthest from his mind. In fact, he was having a hard time wrapping his head around it. "The entire reason why I'm not Orlando's Sire anymore is so that Harry could be, so they could strengthen their bond."

"And it never occurred to any of you that strengthening that bond might be the worst thing that could happen to them? There's a reason why both the Elder and Viggo have repeatedly stated that Orlando was meant for both Karl and Harry. And, honestly, I think it's because Harry's not cut out to be anyone's full-time Sire or Lord."

"He should've thought about that before he completed the damn bond," Dave muttered. Then he shook his head before slumping back against the pillows. "Do you have any idea what it would do to Orlando if Harry were to change his mind at this point? The whole reason Orlando went through what he has the last year is to get that bond with Harry."

"I know," Lawrence quietly said, fingers sifting through the ends of Dave's hair. "But if you ask me, maybe they should look at other options. There's always Karl, right?"

"Karl's already made his fledgling," Dave pointed out, slowly relaxing under Lawrence's ministrations. "I don't know that he wants to make another. And anyway, wouldn't it put them in the same situation, only with Karl instead of Harry? There's still the double pet bond. And did I mention that Orlando's stubborn? He wants Harry."

"Exactly my point. He wants Harry. But maybe Harry isn't what he needs. And there doesn't have to be a conflict with the double pet bond, you know."

Dave frowned. "What're you talking about?"

"Why would Karl need a pet bond with Orlando if he had the Sire/fledgling bond?"

"You mean..." Dave let out a low whistle. "You're really talking about rocking the boat, aren't you?" Just trying to imagine Orlando's reaction to any of this was giving him a headache.

"You lot are the experts, I'm just following in your footsteps," Lawrence grinned. "I just think maybe Orlando's been getting away with getting what he wants for too long. It could be time to hit the reset button and change the game."

"I just want to remind you that he didn't go seeking the double pet bond," Dave said, draping an arm over his eyes. "But trust me when I say that he will react very badly to anyone suggesting he break that bond. He's not usually given to physical violence, but for that?"

"He didn't do much to prevent it, either, did he?"

Okay, fair point. Dave made a face and shifted his arm just enough to look at Lawrence. "Alright, since you're full of answers tonight, what happens if breaking the pet bond with Karl turns Orlando into a true pet? No way in hell, he'd let Karl close enough to give him the Gift. And it could also react on Harry in the same way, which...fuck, love, that's a nasty situation I don't even want to think about."

"If he's a true pet, then he won't want the Gift. No other pet before Orlando has. And I think that's because of his divided loyalties."

"To Karl and Harry you mean?" Dave asked, then sighed. "I told them both at the time this entire thing was going to come back and bite them in the ass. But they just had to go and be unique and have a unique pet." Not that he'd change anything about what had happened - he would never regret Orlando or Harry or Karl - but there had been so many unforeseen complications.

"Think about it. Karl already has a true pet in Josh. And if Orlando still wants the Gift if he and Karl break their pet bond, then it would just reaffirm what everyone's been saying all along about Orlando being meant for the both of them." Lawrence ran the backs of his fingers across Dave's cheek. "It's up to them to decide what they want to do. All I'm saying is there's more than one solution to the problem."

"Hell, why don't we just throw Salma into the mix and have her be his Sire. Or maybe Marcus," Dave groaned, pulling a pillow over his head.

"That's an option," Lawrence laughed.

"Okay, here's another option." Dave emerged from beneath the pillow to give Lawrence a sour look. "Say Orlando breaks the bond with Karl and asks him for the Gift...what if Karl says no, because he doesn't want another fledgling? I just don't see how this can end with no one getting hurt, but I sure as fuck am not going to be the one to put that bug in Orlando's ear."

"No reason why you should. They're not your problem to solve anymore," Lawrence reminded him.

"And right now, I'm profoundly grateful for that."

Lawrence smiled down at him. "I know you're going to miss him. But I think Yana and Yas and I can manage to get your mind off of the insane lives of your ex-mates."

Dave returned the smile. "I'm counting on it."

Lawrence bent to brush his lips over Dave's. "Feeling better about all this?"

"No," Dave admitted. "But there's nothing I can do except worry, and I hope you don't think I'm not going to do that."

"I know you too well," Lawrence chuckled. His fingers slid under Dave's shirt. "But why don't you leave the worrying until later, hmm?"

"I could be convinced," Dave said as he arched into the touch.

"Could you?"

"Yeah," Dave whispered, tugging Lawrence down for another kiss. Nothing was solved, but he'd said it himself. There wasn't anything he could do.

***