(no subject)
I don't wanna be here. Where I am right now. I've only been back in school a few days and I wake up every morning wishing I didn't have to get up, not wanting to be in class. Procrastination, lazyness rearing up.
am I getting drained on school? just still in a funk from the break being over... or missing Paul too much? I.. I don't even know. but right now I'm hating that I apparently don't get to see him this weekend. goddamn my lack of a car.
I don't have classes on monday. Off for Martin Luther King Jr's day, seems a stupid day to get off honestly, but I don't care since it means no classes.
just makes me wish more I could spend the time with the bf. I don't wanna go home this weekend. Spending Thursday-Sunday with my family last week, due to funeral, was enough for a 2 week period. or so. staying on campus is.. boring. meh.
I have friends here, some semblance of a life, sort of. But I'm alone most days, most of the day, except for class and sometimes lunch. And I don't even care really. Go to class, go to lunch, come back to room... goof off, play wow, maybe eventually do homework due the next day and talk to a few people online... go to bed, rinse and repeat.
Kinda wish I just lived with Paul. Parents wouldn't approve, though they wouldn't/couldn't stop me.
And as far as school goes, anyway, I kinda think I want a fresh start... new major, different school. but I dunno if that would change how I feel now about it or not. I don't.. know. I say that too often.
mng. pre-bed emotional writing. prolly not the best idea. sorta on period too, maybe. In that I'm in that week between bc pill packs intended for period... I'd say for sure if period actually started, but I've been slightly spotting for the past month anyway. (skipped last period with the pills so maybe thats why. Meh)
...Bedtime. now. I should've stopped typing like 10 minutes ago =p. 9am class to look forward to.
am I getting drained on school? just still in a funk from the break being over... or missing Paul too much? I.. I don't even know. but right now I'm hating that I apparently don't get to see him this weekend. goddamn my lack of a car.
I don't have classes on monday. Off for Martin Luther King Jr's day, seems a stupid day to get off honestly, but I don't care since it means no classes.
just makes me wish more I could spend the time with the bf. I don't wanna go home this weekend. Spending Thursday-Sunday with my family last week, due to funeral, was enough for a 2 week period. or so. staying on campus is.. boring. meh.
I have friends here, some semblance of a life, sort of. But I'm alone most days, most of the day, except for class and sometimes lunch. And I don't even care really. Go to class, go to lunch, come back to room... goof off, play wow, maybe eventually do homework due the next day and talk to a few people online... go to bed, rinse and repeat.
Kinda wish I just lived with Paul. Parents wouldn't approve, though they wouldn't/couldn't stop me.
And as far as school goes, anyway, I kinda think I want a fresh start... new major, different school. but I dunno if that would change how I feel now about it or not. I don't.. know. I say that too often.
mng. pre-bed emotional writing. prolly not the best idea. sorta on period too, maybe. In that I'm in that week between bc pill packs intended for period... I'd say for sure if period actually started, but I've been slightly spotting for the past month anyway. (skipped last period with the pills so maybe thats why. Meh)
...Bedtime. now. I should've stopped typing like 10 minutes ago =p. 9am class to look forward to.