Emo? ... Heartbreaking.
It's... funny (not ha-ha funny I guess?) what can - in that small moment - make me feel like... The only thing that comes to mind to describe it is my heart breaking. Figuratively, of course. Just this moment when I feel like crying. Not for myself. Not fully, at least. Like the book I was reading from the library - Iron Kissed by Patricia Briggs. A little sci-fi-ish thing with a touch of mystery & romance and such. There was this one chapter that just.. had tears sliding down my face. I'm glad I was alone in my room when I read it. The section that had me like that, it was written well enough and the characterization.. or I'm just emp/sympathetic/emotional enough that it doesn't take much to set me off, I felt so bad for the character.
Today, every once in a while, its the same feeling in my chest. This..catch, hitch, pain-that-isn't. I don't know. No tears, the feeling was fleeting enough fortunately. I'm not sure I'm making sense, but I wanted to say this though no one likely cares.
Uhm! anyway. Mainly it was when Shaun was mentioned. Not EVERY time, just.. at particular moments. This seems ridiculous to me, he's a crush. Just a crush. Who got arrested, and is now in the hospital because the juvy detention center didn't take good care of him considering he was healing from having had appendicitis. He was at juvy for two days with infection in his stomach, going nearly gangrene apparently. :/ the hell is up with that? But, at any rate.. it's certainly true I've never had a crush arrested/hospitalized when I had a chance to worry. >>
And, another time.. I remember this as the day.. er. Whats his name died, that actor (no, I really odn't give that much of a damn about him.) I took mom to homeschool mom's night get-together. One of the moms talked about this family she knows, the dad killed the mom and then himself, with a gun, right in front of their teenage boy (17? I don't remember). And..yeah. it broke my heart. That people would do that. that I can't even imagine what it was like for that boy. It was also obvious the mother telling it felt bad about it and all. Its just.. I dunno, no words for it.
So I call the feeling my heart breaking. There's nothing like it, IMO.
Today, every once in a while, its the same feeling in my chest. This..catch, hitch, pain-that-isn't. I don't know. No tears, the feeling was fleeting enough fortunately. I'm not sure I'm making sense, but I wanted to say this though no one likely cares.
Uhm! anyway. Mainly it was when Shaun was mentioned. Not EVERY time, just.. at particular moments. This seems ridiculous to me, he's a crush. Just a crush. Who got arrested, and is now in the hospital because the juvy detention center didn't take good care of him considering he was healing from having had appendicitis. He was at juvy for two days with infection in his stomach, going nearly gangrene apparently. :/ the hell is up with that? But, at any rate.. it's certainly true I've never had a crush arrested/hospitalized when I had a chance to worry. >>
And, another time.. I remember this as the day.. er. Whats his name died, that actor (no, I really odn't give that much of a damn about him.) I took mom to homeschool mom's night get-together. One of the moms talked about this family she knows, the dad killed the mom and then himself, with a gun, right in front of their teenage boy (17? I don't remember). And..yeah. it broke my heart. That people would do that. that I can't even imagine what it was like for that boy. It was also obvious the mother telling it felt bad about it and all. Its just.. I dunno, no words for it.
So I call the feeling my heart breaking. There's nothing like it, IMO.