(no subject)
Damn...it's been almost a month since I wrote in this thing. The last time I wrote on here, I was probably "so happy" with Kevin B. Well, as you all know already, me and Kevin B. are done...officially. And I'm starting to think that it's a good thing. I think I told you all pretty much what happened, but if not, then here's what happened. So Monday night, me, Tiana, Lauren, and Ski go out to the Queen Bee. I don't know why we went on a Monday night, but we did. Me and Kevin B. still aren't together, BTW... So anyways, we're in there chillin when a bunch of guys from Humphrey's come in there. We're trying to spot some cute ones, but it's kind of hard. So us girls are just chillin listening to NKOTB (Oh yeah!!!) when I get a text from Kevin B. to come over and "watch a movie" with him. I get over there like 20-30 minutes later. I toss my phone on the bed and get on the computer to check MySpace. Well, he starts going through my phone, but I didn't care because I have absolutely NOTHING to hide! So he's going through it and sees text messages from Booker, a guy in Bravo. He's complaining about it, then one in particular stood out to him...the one where Booker said he wanted to take off all my clothes and lick me from head to toe (Oh yeah!!) Anyways...Booker was completely joking when he wrote that, ya know. Well Kevin B. got a little upset about that and then he says "I think there are more text messages from Booker than me..." so I tell him "It's not my fault that you don't talk to me!" So he throws my phone across the bed and was like "Just get the fuck out." So I'm like whatever, grab my stuff and leave...without signing out of MySpace. Which I still really didn't care about because like I said...I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE! So he calls me when I'm outside of Tiana's room...(I like ran to Tiana's room because I was so proud of myself that I didn't cry when he told me to leave!!)...anyways, he calls and tells me that he went through my inbox on MySpace and seen that I wrote I had a crush on Booker to Eric. Then he calls me a two-timer and blah blah blah...so I hung up the phone on him. Then, me and Tiana go back to the Queen Bee where I keep getting texts from Kevin B. He finally asks me to come back over...so I'm like whatever. I'm partially drunk by this time... So I go back over there...my dumbass...and he's standing there expecting me to say something. I'm like "You told me to come back over here...", ya know. He said some things, but I don't really remember because I didn't care anymore. And he hasn't talked to me since...and I don't care about that either (Wow!). I finally came to the realization that I don't need someone like him. He's WAY to insecure and has a lot of personal issues that he lets get in the way of his feelings. One thing I did hear before I walked out of his room for the last time was that he said he HAD feelings for me. I guess he lost them when I told him that he doesn't talk to me. I have to admit though, and I know you all know this, but I still care A LOT for that asshole. But I don't want to be with him anymore. Not unless he changes. He does this thing where like...he kind of sets boundries for me or whatever, but won't tell me about it until I cross that boundry. Like...I don't even know what he considers cheating...but from the past month and half and 3 thousand fights, I'm guessing he thinks talking to a guy is cheating. I don't know though. Whatever!!!
So now...Booker... I don't know what to do about him. Like I like him a lot and everything, but I'm still not over Kevin B. I talked to Tiana about this already (Thanks girl!) and I don't want Booker (and neither does he) to be the rebound. If me and Kevin B. don't get back together (which I doubt we will), I want to wait at the LEAST a month before I date another guy. I want to try the whole single thing. Since I've been here, I've probably only been single for like a month. But see, if me and Booker keep hanging out like we do, we'll either end up being together before the month, or end up being really great friends who don't want to ruin that friendship...which is fine, but that attraction we have will always be there. I'm not good with temptation at all...I totally give in. But I guess I'll just have to see how things go. This weekend, I'll probably find out if Kevin B. still wants to be with me or not. Actually, it'll probably be next weekend. Usually, when we fight, that weekend of the fight, he "doesn't know who I am", but the next weekend, he's like all over me. But I think for the first time, I'm going to try to say no to him... It's going to be hard because I still care about him...but I'm so tired of his pathetic little hissy-fits....
I'm almost done...I PROMISE!
So Tiana leaves in like 3 weeks. Its going to suck SO bad when she leaves. I'm pretty much going to be by myself. I'll still have Lauren and Kelly (who's leaving in a little over a month), but they have boyfriends... I'm going to miss you guys when you leave! You still suck though! I'm going to talk to LTC Walrod and see if he can extend you two for a few more months (JUST KIDDING!!!) But I have been thinking about it...and probably will continue to think about it...
So now...Booker... I don't know what to do about him. Like I like him a lot and everything, but I'm still not over Kevin B. I talked to Tiana about this already (Thanks girl!) and I don't want Booker (and neither does he) to be the rebound. If me and Kevin B. don't get back together (which I doubt we will), I want to wait at the LEAST a month before I date another guy. I want to try the whole single thing. Since I've been here, I've probably only been single for like a month. But see, if me and Booker keep hanging out like we do, we'll either end up being together before the month, or end up being really great friends who don't want to ruin that friendship...which is fine, but that attraction we have will always be there. I'm not good with temptation at all...I totally give in. But I guess I'll just have to see how things go. This weekend, I'll probably find out if Kevin B. still wants to be with me or not. Actually, it'll probably be next weekend. Usually, when we fight, that weekend of the fight, he "doesn't know who I am", but the next weekend, he's like all over me. But I think for the first time, I'm going to try to say no to him... It's going to be hard because I still care about him...but I'm so tired of his pathetic little hissy-fits....
I'm almost done...I PROMISE!
So Tiana leaves in like 3 weeks. Its going to suck SO bad when she leaves. I'm pretty much going to be by myself. I'll still have Lauren and Kelly (who's leaving in a little over a month), but they have boyfriends... I'm going to miss you guys when you leave! You still suck though! I'm going to talk to LTC Walrod and see if he can extend you two for a few more months (JUST KIDDING!!!) But I have been thinking about it...and probably will continue to think about it...