What in the world....
So, this is one of those "life...death...the purpose of the universe" sort of days. A day when nothing seems to fall perfectly into place, it sort of ...wobbles on its end, slowly spinning around the round hole it is supposed to slip into, and then you realize you were using a square peg. I dunno, dumb analogy I guess, but...I can't place it into words.
I feel..'undone', unable to work, distracted and out of place. I cannot put it in to words, really. At least it is not that 'fear of Impending Doom'. I hate that one. And I really hate not being able to put my finger on exactly what the problem is. Like putting fireflies in a birdcage and wondering why they get out. I feel confused and flustered and not even medication seems to help today. Maybe some wine...
Hard to write the past few days, tho I did get three chapters written last week. I know I am under some pressure to come up with something good. I'm at the climax of the book. We have explosions, betrayal, death! I need to be at my best for this and CAN'T right now. Why not? Fear? Frustration? All of the above?
What helps? Video games are not even cutting it. Music either. Even this short rant has taken 3 hours to type. One sentence at a time. The more I think, the more frustrated I get. My fingers rebel against my desire to type. I'll rest, I'll wait and hope it eventually releases me.
Sleep well!
And a happy belated to the better half of the Mizhak Binak!
I feel..'undone', unable to work, distracted and out of place. I cannot put it in to words, really. At least it is not that 'fear of Impending Doom'. I hate that one. And I really hate not being able to put my finger on exactly what the problem is. Like putting fireflies in a birdcage and wondering why they get out. I feel confused and flustered and not even medication seems to help today. Maybe some wine...
Hard to write the past few days, tho I did get three chapters written last week. I know I am under some pressure to come up with something good. I'm at the climax of the book. We have explosions, betrayal, death! I need to be at my best for this and CAN'T right now. Why not? Fear? Frustration? All of the above?
What helps? Video games are not even cutting it. Music either. Even this short rant has taken 3 hours to type. One sentence at a time. The more I think, the more frustrated I get. My fingers rebel against my desire to type. I'll rest, I'll wait and hope it eventually releases me.
Sleep well!
And a happy belated to the better half of the Mizhak Binak!