i've been trying to be where you are, and i've been secretly falling apart ...
i'm weird. i'm not sad. i'm not happy. i feel like my emotions have hit a brick wall, and i just don't know how to really act. i don't really know what to do with myself. it's not because of him. i really don't feel anything for him anymore. it's just, i don't know how to feel. nothing comes naturally. it's like i put on a different face for everything. at least i think i do?
anyway, we had our chorus concert last night. it was probably the worst experience of the chorus and audience's lives.
we had a sub in english today who told us that the students at my school contribute to his life so much, and we are all great factors in the world. it was very heartfelt. he then told me next period when he was on cafe duty, that i'm not allowed to take my cookie out of the cafe and into the chorus room, so i told him that since i can't bring it out, i'd go put it into my locker and walked away to chorus. i felt bad afterwards. i'm a mean liar and student.
actually, this has been kind of a sad week. i think i bring bad luck to everyone. in chorus i had to stand next to this asian girl who has bangs that are literally one inch long, wears leggings, really beat up penny loafers, has a really weird fat best friend, and has probably the worst voice known to mankind. so since her voice is so bad, i really couldn't stand next to her without laughing, and i think she noticed. i told my friend about her who promptly told me that she saw the same girl bawling in the bathroom a couple days before because people were teasing her and that her weird best friend's dad died a year ago. then next period, i was walking up the stairs, and this six foot tall 300 lb kid tripped on the heel of my clog and fell on the stairs, and everyone was laughing at him when i asked him if he was okay. this morning this girl held the door open for me walking into school when i was like a mile behind her, and when i thanked her, she went up the stairs and fell too! seriously, i suck. those poor people.
i'm done. that was probably the most pointless paragraph i have ever created.
anyway, we had our chorus concert last night. it was probably the worst experience of the chorus and audience's lives.
we had a sub in english today who told us that the students at my school contribute to his life so much, and we are all great factors in the world. it was very heartfelt. he then told me next period when he was on cafe duty, that i'm not allowed to take my cookie out of the cafe and into the chorus room, so i told him that since i can't bring it out, i'd go put it into my locker and walked away to chorus. i felt bad afterwards. i'm a mean liar and student.
actually, this has been kind of a sad week. i think i bring bad luck to everyone. in chorus i had to stand next to this asian girl who has bangs that are literally one inch long, wears leggings, really beat up penny loafers, has a really weird fat best friend, and has probably the worst voice known to mankind. so since her voice is so bad, i really couldn't stand next to her without laughing, and i think she noticed. i told my friend about her who promptly told me that she saw the same girl bawling in the bathroom a couple days before because people were teasing her and that her weird best friend's dad died a year ago. then next period, i was walking up the stairs, and this six foot tall 300 lb kid tripped on the heel of my clog and fell on the stairs, and everyone was laughing at him when i asked him if he was okay. this morning this girl held the door open for me walking into school when i was like a mile behind her, and when i thanked her, she went up the stairs and fell too! seriously, i suck. those poor people.
i'm done. that was probably the most pointless paragraph i have ever created.