should have shook your hand instead of holding it ...
after quietly breaking down last night, i pulled myself together, and i'm still in one piece.
i saw him today, and felt nothing. i didn't wince. my heart didn't palpitate at 700 mph. my nose didn't tingle. the lump in my throat never arrived. he and i talked like friends.
i saw her today. i didn't repeatedly wish she would die or boil in hate. i instead, gave her a little smile, and got one back in return. she's scared of me according to some mutual friends.
i listened to every break up song in the book. i didn't cry once. i related to the lyrics in every way possible, and thought to myself that all these things happened to me, and i just need to move on.
things will go as planned eventually. i just have to wait for it to all come to a head. i still love him. he told me that he still loves me and feels nothing for her. so be it.
i am however, scared of facing reality alone. i'd share everything with him. do everything with him, but now i'm going to have to deal with thing by myself. it's hard. i need people. desperately. i know that. it's also hard knowing that i had something so great with him, something not many people have, and now i'm just like everyone else.
i've been thinking though, is this what it's all about when you're by yourself? you go through day by day, nothing new or different, like a pattern, like everyone else you know. you have momentary highs, and then they're gone and you go through the same routine of every day. i kind of hate routine. i kind of hate being like everyone else. call me selfish, but i want something no one else has, like that relationship.
oh well, it'll come soon. everything works out in the end. i guess there's a reason why all those cliche sayings are true.
so thanks you guys for putting up with all my depressing entries. more will probably come, maybe even about him, but for now. yeah, it's all okay.
i saw him today, and felt nothing. i didn't wince. my heart didn't palpitate at 700 mph. my nose didn't tingle. the lump in my throat never arrived. he and i talked like friends.
i saw her today. i didn't repeatedly wish she would die or boil in hate. i instead, gave her a little smile, and got one back in return. she's scared of me according to some mutual friends.
i listened to every break up song in the book. i didn't cry once. i related to the lyrics in every way possible, and thought to myself that all these things happened to me, and i just need to move on.
things will go as planned eventually. i just have to wait for it to all come to a head. i still love him. he told me that he still loves me and feels nothing for her. so be it.
i am however, scared of facing reality alone. i'd share everything with him. do everything with him, but now i'm going to have to deal with thing by myself. it's hard. i need people. desperately. i know that. it's also hard knowing that i had something so great with him, something not many people have, and now i'm just like everyone else.
i've been thinking though, is this what it's all about when you're by yourself? you go through day by day, nothing new or different, like a pattern, like everyone else you know. you have momentary highs, and then they're gone and you go through the same routine of every day. i kind of hate routine. i kind of hate being like everyone else. call me selfish, but i want something no one else has, like that relationship.
oh well, it'll come soon. everything works out in the end. i guess there's a reason why all those cliche sayings are true.
so thanks you guys for putting up with all my depressing entries. more will probably come, maybe even about him, but for now. yeah, it's all okay.