My version of "The Road"
Today has been a rough travel day. At 5:45am I hopped in a taxi to SeaTac, and by 7:00pm central time, I was climbing into another cab in Mobile, Alabama.
Too bad my original plan was to be in Pensacola, Florida by 4:30pm.
I was explaining my Continental Airline woes to Dave, the yellow cab driver who would be driving me the 66 miles from Mobile to Pensacola, the numerous problems that lead me here. It began with a delay on the runway at SeaTac, which made it impossible for many folks to make their connections in Houston, Texas. We were supposed to arrive at 1:30 but were now scheduled to land at 2:30. To try to make up for this delay, the airline agents booked these folks onto other flights.
However, despite the fact that I had a 2:40 connection, the in-aircraft announcements made no mention of a new flight being arranged to Pensacola. I asked an air steward why Pensacola was ommitted, and she responded that it was obviously because I will be able to make my connection as planned. Then, when the captain amended the arrival time to 2:40, I asked the staff if they honestly thought it was reasonable to expect we would make a flight that departed at the moment this one was scheduled to arrive. The agreed it sounded difficult, but could do nothing except let me off the plane earlier than my setting would usually allow. I could sit near the front before landing.
I ran to the gate, and by 2:45 the connecting flight was long, long gone. I asked the gate person what I was supposed to do, and she said "you'll have to speak with a customer representitive."
The customer representitive informed me that all flights to Pensacola were full. Sorry. I demanded a flight to the nearest city, and she didn't know where that would be. Another passenger said, "That would be MO-BILE" to the customer rep. She printed my boarding pass to the next flight to Mobile, about an hour drive to Pensacola.
When I suggested that this was not, in fact, a solution (I didn't buy a ticket to Mobile...) and demanded transport to cover the gap, the helpful woman circled a customer care number and then ran off into a personnel-only area.
I called that number, and the person on the phone said "You'll have to speak with customer care at your airport to get a rental voucher."
I hunted down a different customer care person and they said "We *don't* issue rental vouchers and never have."
I asked to speak with the most senior person in the immediate area, and she pointed me to another person in a red jacket. This person grilled me for details and tried to claim it wasn't CA's fault for being delayed, it was the fault air traffic control in SeaTac. I called bullshit and explained that the captain made several mentioned to mechanics, mechanical problems, and needing parts - and I had a witness to verify this claim.
5 minutes later I had a $155 TAXI voucher, which they apparently *do* issue.
I explained all this to Dave as we whizzed through Mobile. He laughed and said,
"So a hunter goes into the woods to shoot bear, and a bear grabs him and fucks him in the ass. The hunter goes home and gets a bigger gun and the bear grabs him and fucks him up the ass again. The hunter goes home, gets his biggest gun, and when he comes back the bear grabs him and says, 'I'm starting to wonder if you're here for the hunting.'"
I reflect on the crude but valid insight, and respond,
"Yes, I guess I keep getting on planes regardless of how badly I'm treated."
Dave responds, "Huh? I was just telling you a funny joke. You know any good jokes?"
...
But all of my delays did allow me to read "The Road" in one day. Good stuff. It was really the perfect book for the day.
Too bad my original plan was to be in Pensacola, Florida by 4:30pm.
I was explaining my Continental Airline woes to Dave, the yellow cab driver who would be driving me the 66 miles from Mobile to Pensacola, the numerous problems that lead me here. It began with a delay on the runway at SeaTac, which made it impossible for many folks to make their connections in Houston, Texas. We were supposed to arrive at 1:30 but were now scheduled to land at 2:30. To try to make up for this delay, the airline agents booked these folks onto other flights.
However, despite the fact that I had a 2:40 connection, the in-aircraft announcements made no mention of a new flight being arranged to Pensacola. I asked an air steward why Pensacola was ommitted, and she responded that it was obviously because I will be able to make my connection as planned. Then, when the captain amended the arrival time to 2:40, I asked the staff if they honestly thought it was reasonable to expect we would make a flight that departed at the moment this one was scheduled to arrive. The agreed it sounded difficult, but could do nothing except let me off the plane earlier than my setting would usually allow. I could sit near the front before landing.
I ran to the gate, and by 2:45 the connecting flight was long, long gone. I asked the gate person what I was supposed to do, and she said "you'll have to speak with a customer representitive."
The customer representitive informed me that all flights to Pensacola were full. Sorry. I demanded a flight to the nearest city, and she didn't know where that would be. Another passenger said, "That would be MO-BILE" to the customer rep. She printed my boarding pass to the next flight to Mobile, about an hour drive to Pensacola.
When I suggested that this was not, in fact, a solution (I didn't buy a ticket to Mobile...) and demanded transport to cover the gap, the helpful woman circled a customer care number and then ran off into a personnel-only area.
I called that number, and the person on the phone said "You'll have to speak with customer care at your airport to get a rental voucher."
I hunted down a different customer care person and they said "We *don't* issue rental vouchers and never have."
I asked to speak with the most senior person in the immediate area, and she pointed me to another person in a red jacket. This person grilled me for details and tried to claim it wasn't CA's fault for being delayed, it was the fault air traffic control in SeaTac. I called bullshit and explained that the captain made several mentioned to mechanics, mechanical problems, and needing parts - and I had a witness to verify this claim.
5 minutes later I had a $155 TAXI voucher, which they apparently *do* issue.
I explained all this to Dave as we whizzed through Mobile. He laughed and said,
"So a hunter goes into the woods to shoot bear, and a bear grabs him and fucks him in the ass. The hunter goes home and gets a bigger gun and the bear grabs him and fucks him up the ass again. The hunter goes home, gets his biggest gun, and when he comes back the bear grabs him and says, 'I'm starting to wonder if you're here for the hunting.'"
I reflect on the crude but valid insight, and respond,
"Yes, I guess I keep getting on planes regardless of how badly I'm treated."
Dave responds, "Huh? I was just telling you a funny joke. You know any good jokes?"
...
But all of my delays did allow me to read "The Road" in one day. Good stuff. It was really the perfect book for the day.