(no subject)
so i was suppose to go to walmart tonight after work to get the last of what i needed for christmas. being, some cards for people like my grandpa and then for my dad and cathy and then my mom and tim.... turns out, i couldn't make it past the card isle. i spent $35 on just cards. BUT i picked out each one for each person individually for a reason. sooooo.... that's good? hahaha. no but i was suppose to get maybe somethin for my mom (just because i feel like a sicko not getting her anything.... even though i shouldn't and she told me not to) and then a couple more stupid small things for christan because my gift prolly isn't even gonna be good enough. uhgggg. that may have been an oxymoron but still. seriously. my gift is going to suck. i dunno why i always get so worried about what i give people.... that it's not good enough... but it's seriously not! it's not even big....... well... it's physically big. it's massive actually. but it's not good enough. fuck this i'm so not whining about this?
i wish i had more money though... i had to put three cards back beacause i ran out of money. AND fuck. i jsut remembered i wanted to get some flowers to put at my grandma's and ryan's grave. dammit. sweet. i saw a card today that said something like "brother, christmas just wouldn't be the same without you! :) " minus the happy face.... but i know they meant it with a smile. and they're right, christmas is sooo far from what it use to be. it's a joke. but i actually asked god to help me get in the christmas spirit beause i know my grandma loved christmas it was her favorite time of year for many reasons. and i know she would want our family to be spending it together and enjoying it and eachother.. too bad that isn't going to happen. too bad my family has to be so divided. too bad they hate eachother and can't get along. too bad everyone has to die. so many too bad's, but i'm gonna spare you all.
today i felt the christmas spirit very quickly for like... 15 seconds. it was weird. for all of 15 seconds i really felt all..... merry? hahaha. seriosuly though. then it went away. maybe it'll come back for longer tomorrow.
i gotta work christmas eve. only for three hours, but it's still my first time doing it. i'd liek to think people are going to be decent human beings and shell out a few dollars since it's christmas and all.. and while they're sitting around a fire all cozy with their families i'm driving there smelly ass pizza all over the area. probably getting stiffed and making no money. making enough money to pay for the gas i used during my shift. goodness i hate my job. seriosuly though, having this job. i now know that i probably will never tip less than $5.... $4 at absolute minimum. just because i know it feels nice when you get a decent tip.... and it's fucking gay when you get like less than a dollar. or some "change" which really adds up to nothing seeing how they round to the dollar amount when they cash us out everynight. so if they tip me $.49 i don't get shit for it. except for $.95... which ends up being a dollar...... so say it's a really slow night.... and i get like... 8 or 9 deliveries... and 2 of them stiff me.... i get a couple dollar somethin tips a a 3 dollar tip or somehting.... it really doesn't add up to much... i haven't had a really good night in i can't even tell you how long. i've had decent nights lately, but nothing to write home about. when i first started i was makin some looot.
i need a drink. i'd take either a beer or some really good tasting juice. mmmmmm... dammit. i think i'd rather have juice now. and we don't ahve any REALLY good juice.. and i have three beers in my car but i'm too lazy to go get them. if we really have nothing better to drink i'll go get them. and smoke a cig while i'm at it.
hey but merry christmas.
i wish i had more money though... i had to put three cards back beacause i ran out of money. AND fuck. i jsut remembered i wanted to get some flowers to put at my grandma's and ryan's grave. dammit. sweet. i saw a card today that said something like "brother, christmas just wouldn't be the same without you! :) " minus the happy face.... but i know they meant it with a smile. and they're right, christmas is sooo far from what it use to be. it's a joke. but i actually asked god to help me get in the christmas spirit beause i know my grandma loved christmas it was her favorite time of year for many reasons. and i know she would want our family to be spending it together and enjoying it and eachother.. too bad that isn't going to happen. too bad my family has to be so divided. too bad they hate eachother and can't get along. too bad everyone has to die. so many too bad's, but i'm gonna spare you all.
today i felt the christmas spirit very quickly for like... 15 seconds. it was weird. for all of 15 seconds i really felt all..... merry? hahaha. seriosuly though. then it went away. maybe it'll come back for longer tomorrow.
i gotta work christmas eve. only for three hours, but it's still my first time doing it. i'd liek to think people are going to be decent human beings and shell out a few dollars since it's christmas and all.. and while they're sitting around a fire all cozy with their families i'm driving there smelly ass pizza all over the area. probably getting stiffed and making no money. making enough money to pay for the gas i used during my shift. goodness i hate my job. seriosuly though, having this job. i now know that i probably will never tip less than $5.... $4 at absolute minimum. just because i know it feels nice when you get a decent tip.... and it's fucking gay when you get like less than a dollar. or some "change" which really adds up to nothing seeing how they round to the dollar amount when they cash us out everynight. so if they tip me $.49 i don't get shit for it. except for $.95... which ends up being a dollar...... so say it's a really slow night.... and i get like... 8 or 9 deliveries... and 2 of them stiff me.... i get a couple dollar somethin tips a a 3 dollar tip or somehting.... it really doesn't add up to much... i haven't had a really good night in i can't even tell you how long. i've had decent nights lately, but nothing to write home about. when i first started i was makin some looot.
i need a drink. i'd take either a beer or some really good tasting juice. mmmmmm... dammit. i think i'd rather have juice now. and we don't ahve any REALLY good juice.. and i have three beers in my car but i'm too lazy to go get them. if we really have nothing better to drink i'll go get them. and smoke a cig while i'm at it.
hey but merry christmas.