(no subject)
sooo, i'm prrrretty sure my dad just realized i was gay. but he doesn't want to admit it to himself i'm thinking. he told me to leave my keys out this morning so he could clean my car for me. i forgot so he came in this morning adn i gave them to him. completely forgot that yesterday when i was cleaning some of the shit from the move out of my car... i found this card that elaine made me shortly before we broke up that said on the cover "i miss you colleen" and the inside has a picture of us and it said "we have to make this work, i love you" and i put it aside and was going to bring it in and do whatever with it.... completely forgot to take it out. sooooo... yea. he had a pile of the stuff from my car sitting out when i jsut went outside. and the card was on top. so yea. he saw it. so i was out there smoking a cigarette and we were shooting the shit or whatever..... and he saw my rainbow flower leigh in my mirror. he looked at it and made the comment... "and what's this rainbow you got in there.. i thought that meant gay. i thought rainbow meant gay?" and i just looked at him, not knowing what to say.. awkward pause. then he goes "it's kinda freaky... and just looked at me with an unsure smile. hard to explain. but it was awkward. he knows, he has to know if he doesn't know he's retarded. i think he's just in denial. oh well.