vitamin a

[ciromazola]

so what if? i mean, really, what if? what IF i stopped worrying about whether or not i’m enough? if i let that constant loop in my head shut off, retire, even, that loop that keeps telling me to strive, better better always, flogging myself wondering how to better manage time, money, emotions, food, exercise, sleep, conversations, likes,

Comments

vitamin a

[anonymous]

my answer: better.
reason why: i've been seeing the light
additional comments: you have the goodness figured out, now just quit giving yourself a hard time about it. i think anne hensley told that to me at one point in my life, oh shit, i think it was yesterday.
anonymous chafe.

[purple_marf]

What you said is like it echoed out of my own brain, while I sit here and think, "Not her, she's an adventurer. Strong. Beautiful. SHE doesn't second-guess herself the way *I* do."

Well I'll be damned.

I still do this so much, it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm so anxious about screwing up, it makes me screw up. Perhaps we both have such beautiful men who are so patient with us, we're figuring out how to be patient with ourselves? I think just asking myself the kinds of things you put up there is so much more than I could have done a couple of years ago.

Last part of your post is the pivot, for me. If I let go and stop thinking I can consciously control everything, the wiser, less conscious part of me can have a little more freedom to guide me toward what I really need.

[iambrownurblue]

i liked the movie quite a bit.
and i've never read the book.
sometimes i feel like im not as cultured as everyone else around me because i havent read the top five books it takes to be a smart kid in kalmazoo.
i like being surrounded by people that i think are smarter than i am.
so im being challenged. learning.
but then when i disagree with them, i have to tell myself that this IS me learning.
this is me taking whats around me and making my own decision about it.
their opinions make me rethink the world (book/movie/food) and maybe mine can make them rethink it too.

i know youre a wiser woman than i am but take it into consideration.
i hate beets. but i think theyre pretty.

vitamin a

[anonymous]

Well, I freakin' love beets. Pickled, baked w/cold pack port wine cheese, on Greek salads.

I think one of the hardest parts about reconciling ones self with ones insecurities, is doing the same with others. I'm most comfortable with myself when I make myself not worry about other peoples feelings and insecurities.

For me, it's all part of the same game, and if I worry too much about upsetting (maybe too strong a word) other people unintentionally, I pay more attention to the things other people unintentionally do that make me self-conscious. It's a hard thing for me to do, because upsetting people is one of my biggest fears, but if I tiptoe around, I becoming a near-silent, drooling buffoon, over analyzing everything that happens.

I think, most of the time, that beets can be just beets, and viewpoints and opinions can also be just beets. I'm getting hungry.

-Brennan

borsht

[anonymous]

Dear Anne…I am sending you (via e-mail) a recipe for carrot, beet and ginger soup. Usually I don’t push food on people…I dislike raw onions and it pisses me off when people say, “Oh, but you have to try (this or that thing), you will love the onions on it!” But, I oddly thought about you when I made this soup once, because of the ginger. I remembered standing outside Waterstreet Coffee Joint (the Oakland location) once when you took a first sip of your juice and you lost all train of thought in rapture over the ginger. I thought to myself, after making this soup, that I should send the recipe to you. But of course, I never did. So now I will