Awkward
It's funny that, when I think back to some of my previous relationships, the good times seldom stand out for me. Instead, all I can vividly remember are the times that I was awkward and geeky. I mean, some good times remain, but mostly it's just me acting like a dork and being totally oblivious to whomever I was with at the time...
Cool Moments I Remember:
Mike -
Walking to the car, some flower petals from a tree blow into my hair when the wind picks up. Mike tells me I am beautiful in that moment.
Sitting in the grass in D.C. with Mike's head in my lap while Becky took pictures, thinking this was as good as I wanted it to get.
Robbie -
Laying in bed, I poke Robbie's arm and he flexes. I call him Narcissus. He says that must make me Echo. I fall a little more for the boy who knows his Greek mythology.
Drunk in the apartment once again, Robbie comes staggering into my room towards the bathroom. I'm sitting in bed watching a movie and he plants a kiss on my head and says, "I love ya, roomie". I know I don't love him, but I love having him as a roommate.
ArmyBoy -
His appearance would brighten my workday as this gorgeous man would stand very close to me without touching and voice his appreciation of my appearance. I always felt like food to a starving lion which made me overly shy and awkward, but he just kept telling me I was cute. First guy to tell me how smart I was and appreciate me for the dork I can be. Best memory is of the skating rink when he told me about a song and then began singing it to me as we went around the rink.
Toby -
Sweetest and weirdest to date.... We're laying on his basement floor in his workroom and he hauls off and punches himself in the face and then asks me why I hit him. Later, I meet some of his friends and they ask me why I hit him.
When I visit him at his new house, he's got something I gave him on the fridge. He asks me when I'm going to be his wife and I tell him never because marriage is for chumps.
lol, all up to Dave is a blur and I hated every little thing about Dave so yeah... I think my count's up to eleven which I felt sort of wonky about at first until my coworkers began telling me that 50 is a low number to have. Fifty. Five Zero. I can't imagine being with fifty guys.
James -
I really, really like to cuddle with James - it's the best thing in the world to make me happy.
I felt seriously sick and my thermometer was telling me that I had a fever in the 100s. I wonder vaguely at what temperature do brain cells start to die. I fall asleep on the couch after letting PJ and James know what's up. Both freak out and demand that I go to the ER. PJ takes me and James shows up unexpectedly after driving an hour to Frederick.
My uncle dies and this guy who doesn't even really know me that much decides to take care of me and stick by me even when all I can do is cry. He doesn't say anything because I don't need anything said, but he just holds me until I'm done.
Chasing James around Jon's house with my new BB Gun, shouting "Die, Monster, Die!" and shooting the plastic pellet just to the side of him.
Playing a ridiculous game of "I Have Never" in my kitchen with him, Jon, and PJ.... maybe Leah.
So yeah... I mean, there are probably more "Moments Of Kelly Not Being Awkward, But Awesome Instead", but I just don't remember them.
I remember dancing like a freak at a Hood dance with someone who was clearly not into me. I remember screaming, shouting, crying, avoiding, blaming, and being really bitter angry for a long time. I remember the exact moment when I realized just how bitter I was and how I had chased so many people away over my need for vindication as the victim of others' actions - and the next moment where I decided to stop telling the story and just move on.
I remember standing in my store while the guy I thought I loved asked me if I thought a particular girl was cute and if he should try to date her.
I remember letting someone in to sleep on my floor after he had just had meaningless sex with someone else and realizing it was really over between us.
I remember sitting in a truck while some guy read me the riot act over letting my family read his uniform as if it were who he really was and getting more and more annoyed before asking if he was done because I was going to go home.
LOL! I remember being excited about a one night stand with a sort-of coworker that had been flirting with me for months over the phone... only to find out that he's about 6 inches shorter than I am and he looks like an adult version of The Beaver. I remember really, really bad sex followed by this guy nagging me with "so was the trip worth it" to which I replied, "do you want a nice answer or an honest answer?" and having to deal with his pleas for a second chance. He's the guy that figured he was being flirtatious by flicking an empty plastic flavored ice thing at me... ergh. After I left him, I called Jamie and we laughed about how sad it all was.
I remember all the awkward drunken sleep-time gropings between friends when I wanted something more and he didn't.... And the exact moment of realization where I passed him off to another because he wasn't offering what I wanted.
I remember standing in a field in front of a Jeep talking with a guy and thinking that this is all very romantic before I ask him what type of girl he likes and his reply is "petite". As I am nowhere close to petite (and neither was he), I shrug it off. We end up having awkward tent sex weeks later, after which, I avoid him like the plague.
I remember sitting on a guy's bed petting his cat, he tells me about how she likes to sit on a heating pad (old cat) and then points to the cat and to me and says he's got two pussies on his bed. I get the mental image of him fucking his cat. It's officially count down to break up from then.
I remember standing outside a cheap Chinese restaurant and play-fighting with a guy, showing him what it's like when a thug girl tries to get in someone's face and then having an out-of-body moment where I saw myself doing it... and realizing how ridiculous I look in these situations.
I remember having mediocre sex with a guy when he suddenly put his hand over my mouth and pressed down on me with all his weight, earning the nickname "SquasherBoy". SquasherBoy then wants to move to my city in order to pursue a relationship and I tell him to save his money.
LOL, there are more awkward moments than memorable cool moments... Well, I hope you enjoyed laughing at me as much as I did. =)
Cool Moments I Remember:
Mike -
Walking to the car, some flower petals from a tree blow into my hair when the wind picks up. Mike tells me I am beautiful in that moment.
Sitting in the grass in D.C. with Mike's head in my lap while Becky took pictures, thinking this was as good as I wanted it to get.
Robbie -
Laying in bed, I poke Robbie's arm and he flexes. I call him Narcissus. He says that must make me Echo. I fall a little more for the boy who knows his Greek mythology.
Drunk in the apartment once again, Robbie comes staggering into my room towards the bathroom. I'm sitting in bed watching a movie and he plants a kiss on my head and says, "I love ya, roomie". I know I don't love him, but I love having him as a roommate.
ArmyBoy -
His appearance would brighten my workday as this gorgeous man would stand very close to me without touching and voice his appreciation of my appearance. I always felt like food to a starving lion which made me overly shy and awkward, but he just kept telling me I was cute. First guy to tell me how smart I was and appreciate me for the dork I can be. Best memory is of the skating rink when he told me about a song and then began singing it to me as we went around the rink.
Toby -
Sweetest and weirdest to date.... We're laying on his basement floor in his workroom and he hauls off and punches himself in the face and then asks me why I hit him. Later, I meet some of his friends and they ask me why I hit him.
When I visit him at his new house, he's got something I gave him on the fridge. He asks me when I'm going to be his wife and I tell him never because marriage is for chumps.
lol, all up to Dave is a blur and I hated every little thing about Dave so yeah... I think my count's up to eleven which I felt sort of wonky about at first until my coworkers began telling me that 50 is a low number to have. Fifty. Five Zero. I can't imagine being with fifty guys.
James -
I really, really like to cuddle with James - it's the best thing in the world to make me happy.
I felt seriously sick and my thermometer was telling me that I had a fever in the 100s. I wonder vaguely at what temperature do brain cells start to die. I fall asleep on the couch after letting PJ and James know what's up. Both freak out and demand that I go to the ER. PJ takes me and James shows up unexpectedly after driving an hour to Frederick.
My uncle dies and this guy who doesn't even really know me that much decides to take care of me and stick by me even when all I can do is cry. He doesn't say anything because I don't need anything said, but he just holds me until I'm done.
Chasing James around Jon's house with my new BB Gun, shouting "Die, Monster, Die!" and shooting the plastic pellet just to the side of him.
Playing a ridiculous game of "I Have Never" in my kitchen with him, Jon, and PJ.... maybe Leah.
So yeah... I mean, there are probably more "Moments Of Kelly Not Being Awkward, But Awesome Instead", but I just don't remember them.
I remember dancing like a freak at a Hood dance with someone who was clearly not into me. I remember screaming, shouting, crying, avoiding, blaming, and being really bitter angry for a long time. I remember the exact moment when I realized just how bitter I was and how I had chased so many people away over my need for vindication as the victim of others' actions - and the next moment where I decided to stop telling the story and just move on.
I remember standing in my store while the guy I thought I loved asked me if I thought a particular girl was cute and if he should try to date her.
I remember letting someone in to sleep on my floor after he had just had meaningless sex with someone else and realizing it was really over between us.
I remember sitting in a truck while some guy read me the riot act over letting my family read his uniform as if it were who he really was and getting more and more annoyed before asking if he was done because I was going to go home.
LOL! I remember being excited about a one night stand with a sort-of coworker that had been flirting with me for months over the phone... only to find out that he's about 6 inches shorter than I am and he looks like an adult version of The Beaver. I remember really, really bad sex followed by this guy nagging me with "so was the trip worth it" to which I replied, "do you want a nice answer or an honest answer?" and having to deal with his pleas for a second chance. He's the guy that figured he was being flirtatious by flicking an empty plastic flavored ice thing at me... ergh. After I left him, I called Jamie and we laughed about how sad it all was.
I remember all the awkward drunken sleep-time gropings between friends when I wanted something more and he didn't.... And the exact moment of realization where I passed him off to another because he wasn't offering what I wanted.
I remember standing in a field in front of a Jeep talking with a guy and thinking that this is all very romantic before I ask him what type of girl he likes and his reply is "petite". As I am nowhere close to petite (and neither was he), I shrug it off. We end up having awkward tent sex weeks later, after which, I avoid him like the plague.
I remember sitting on a guy's bed petting his cat, he tells me about how she likes to sit on a heating pad (old cat) and then points to the cat and to me and says he's got two pussies on his bed. I get the mental image of him fucking his cat. It's officially count down to break up from then.
I remember standing outside a cheap Chinese restaurant and play-fighting with a guy, showing him what it's like when a thug girl tries to get in someone's face and then having an out-of-body moment where I saw myself doing it... and realizing how ridiculous I look in these situations.
I remember having mediocre sex with a guy when he suddenly put his hand over my mouth and pressed down on me with all his weight, earning the nickname "SquasherBoy". SquasherBoy then wants to move to my city in order to pursue a relationship and I tell him to save his money.
LOL, there are more awkward moments than memorable cool moments... Well, I hope you enjoyed laughing at me as much as I did. =)