wow its been a while...
so if you hadnt guesed my life is a fucking roler coaster and it only goes up for like a millasecond before everything comes crashing down agian and i know that anybody who is reading this will understand but i just want to be home. and i dont mean my appartment. i mean home home. its wierd some days i just get the overwhelming thought that fsu isnt the place for me and that i should just give up and go home and get some dumb job that will at least pay for shit. i dunno. and to make things worse i was so off on my singing today. yeah aaron informed me to the fact that a song which i once could sing with perfect ease i can no longer hear myself when two notes off from the correct pitch. god i hate everythign. singing was my one thing the only thing really and now i dont even have that. and everything just sucks. i mean really nothing is terribly wrong with my life i shouldnt be feeling so well the way i feel and it just makeds me feel worse when i think about people who are actually having problembs. what do i have the lingering melodramas froma past relationship that in fact i am actually decently happy with being over. god im such a bitch. and i hate when my posts are so depressing because i reread them and if you read this dont pay attention to it. i just feel like i dont belong here. and i think whta scares me most is i dont know where i belong or what i want to do with my life. it seems that my plan has completely unravelled itself and i cant find anythign.i just wanna go home. i want to forget everything and just not exist. or even better i just want to be happy. and i have tried a whole bunch and nothing has worked.