Fanfic: Where Even Time Lords Fear To Go
Title: Where Even Time Lords Fear To Go
by Musedepandora (see Master Fic List)
Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to various persons and corporations that are not me or associated with me. This piece of fanfiction is written with the admiration and respect for the original work. I claim no ownership of Doctor Who's creations. No profit is made from this material, now or in the future.
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: River/Eleven
Word Count: 852
Summary: Mythic monsters. Evil search engines. Time travel. Innuendo. Almost certain impending death. Really just another day in the life of the Doctor and River Song.
Notes:This was written several months ago for owlsie. I thought I should probably post it at some point. Thanks to both r34dinglight and owlsiefor giving it a read over.
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The Doctor and River Song tumbled into the TARDIS with a flurry of snow and laser fire. A howl reverberated from the planet outside, a mythic sound that had terrorized a world for millenia, heralding death and horror for time untold.
"Yeah?" the Doctor yelled back behind them. "Your mother!"
River Song slammed the door just as he was sticking out his tongue. A second later, it sounded like an elephant collided with the other side. They both nearly lost their footing in melted puddles of snow on the slick floor as the TARDIS shook.
She gave him a Look. "Must you taunt the monsters, dear?"
"He started it," the Doctor mumbled, before blinking and then raising a finger to point at her. "Actually, now that I think about it, you started it!"
"Had to get your attention somehow, didn't I?"
"Have you ever considered email?"
"Do you even have email?"
"I could do," he insisted, tugging on his lapels. When he saw River only smile at him in that way of hers, he retreated up the stairs to the console.
"helpmehelpyou@gmail.com?" she asked, trailing behind him while rubbing her arms and trying to shake the snow off her shoulders.
"Definitely not!" He typed a command and dinged on the old typewriter before yanking a lever and reaching out to pluck snow flakes from a ringlet of River's hair. "Google is one of the parent companies that forms the super-conglomerate responsible for the Great Information Famines of 2248 and 2259 and of course they wrote most of the first discriminatory AI laws. And! And in the early 30th century, they co-opted both the military and the largest of the last independent religious sects to form what you know of as the Church."
For a moment, River looks stunned, and then insulted. "You mean, I was kidnapped by Google?"
"Well. Yes."
"I was trained to be a super-weapon by a search engine."
"An evil search engine," the Doctor said, bopping her on the tip of her nose with a finger.
She scrunched up her face. "Sometimes, I hate you."
"No, you don't," he replied off-hand, twirling away to crank a lever and wiggle the zig-zag plotter. River followed him, pushing the blue stabilizers and adjusting the time sequencer by two seconds along the way.
"Stop fiddling!" he scolded while batting at her hands. She kissed him on the cheek in reply, causing him to splutter and blush and throw them off-course by 2 million years. River just laughed, and flicked a switch while he wasn't looking.
"Well, Doctor," River said, "it's been grand but I must be going. Do you think you could drop me off on Deroxi Felptor, around the 16th century? If you could avoid the plagues, I'd make it worth your while."
"Why the hurry?" the Doctor asked, leaning a hip against the edge of the console and folding his arms. "Hot date?"
"Actually, yes." River grinned. "You're welcome to join us if you like."
"What's he like?"
"It."
"It? Oh. I see. How insensitive of me. Sorry, spend too long around 21st century humans, you start picking up their bad habits. Still, no excuse. What's it like then?"
"About a mile wide. 300 meters tall. And somehow, around a billion years older than the planet it was built on."
The Doctor shifted and cleared his throat. "The Dead Palace?"
"Yes."
He scratched his nose. "No one's ever come out of it alive. Literally. People walk out dead. Real life zombies!"
"I know!" River leaned into his body and purred, "Interested?"
The Doctor bit his lip. "Maybe," he replied a little hoarsely.
"I'll make sure you don't regret it, sweetie" she murmured, reaching around the Doctor to yank a lever that caused him to jump and her to laugh. A few seconds later, they thudded to their destination and River strode away toward the door, leaving the Doctor to adjust his bow-tie and the fit of his trousers.
She yanked open the door and stared at him with wide, seemingly innocent eyes. "Coming?" she asked and received a blush and glower from him in return. He made a show of approaching the door in his own time, which River replied to with a roll of her eyes.
Now it was his turn to crowd her space and lower his voice like a threat or promise, "You do realize this is somewhere even the Time Lords feared to go. Whatever created this place, whatever unnatural power still lurks inside it, is something completely unknown, something we're completely unprepared for. It's very likely -almost certain even- that one or the both of us will die in there."
"I love it when you talk dirty," River answered, reaching into his jacket to snap one of his braces with a finger. They shared an excited smile before she turned and preceded him out of the TARDIS into the darkness beyond.
Just before the door swung closed, the sound of the Doctor's voice echoed against unseen stone walls back into the bright, open console room of the TARDIS, "Oh, River! You take me to the nicest places!"
____________
Fin
____________
by Musedepandora (see Master Fic List)
Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to various persons and corporations that are not me or associated with me. This piece of fanfiction is written with the admiration and respect for the original work. I claim no ownership of Doctor Who's creations. No profit is made from this material, now or in the future.
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: River/Eleven
Word Count: 852
Summary: Mythic monsters. Evil search engines. Time travel. Innuendo. Almost certain impending death. Really just another day in the life of the Doctor and River Song.
Notes:This was written several months ago for owlsie. I thought I should probably post it at some point. Thanks to both r34dinglight and owlsiefor giving it a read over.
_______________
The Doctor and River Song tumbled into the TARDIS with a flurry of snow and laser fire. A howl reverberated from the planet outside, a mythic sound that had terrorized a world for millenia, heralding death and horror for time untold.
"Yeah?" the Doctor yelled back behind them. "Your mother!"
River Song slammed the door just as he was sticking out his tongue. A second later, it sounded like an elephant collided with the other side. They both nearly lost their footing in melted puddles of snow on the slick floor as the TARDIS shook.
She gave him a Look. "Must you taunt the monsters, dear?"
"He started it," the Doctor mumbled, before blinking and then raising a finger to point at her. "Actually, now that I think about it, you started it!"
"Had to get your attention somehow, didn't I?"
"Have you ever considered email?"
"Do you even have email?"
"I could do," he insisted, tugging on his lapels. When he saw River only smile at him in that way of hers, he retreated up the stairs to the console.
"helpmehelpyou@gmail.com?" she asked, trailing behind him while rubbing her arms and trying to shake the snow off her shoulders.
"Definitely not!" He typed a command and dinged on the old typewriter before yanking a lever and reaching out to pluck snow flakes from a ringlet of River's hair. "Google is one of the parent companies that forms the super-conglomerate responsible for the Great Information Famines of 2248 and 2259 and of course they wrote most of the first discriminatory AI laws. And! And in the early 30th century, they co-opted both the military and the largest of the last independent religious sects to form what you know of as the Church."
For a moment, River looks stunned, and then insulted. "You mean, I was kidnapped by Google?"
"Well. Yes."
"I was trained to be a super-weapon by a search engine."
"An evil search engine," the Doctor said, bopping her on the tip of her nose with a finger.
She scrunched up her face. "Sometimes, I hate you."
"No, you don't," he replied off-hand, twirling away to crank a lever and wiggle the zig-zag plotter. River followed him, pushing the blue stabilizers and adjusting the time sequencer by two seconds along the way.
"Stop fiddling!" he scolded while batting at her hands. She kissed him on the cheek in reply, causing him to splutter and blush and throw them off-course by 2 million years. River just laughed, and flicked a switch while he wasn't looking.
"Well, Doctor," River said, "it's been grand but I must be going. Do you think you could drop me off on Deroxi Felptor, around the 16th century? If you could avoid the plagues, I'd make it worth your while."
"Why the hurry?" the Doctor asked, leaning a hip against the edge of the console and folding his arms. "Hot date?"
"Actually, yes." River grinned. "You're welcome to join us if you like."
"What's he like?"
"It."
"It? Oh. I see. How insensitive of me. Sorry, spend too long around 21st century humans, you start picking up their bad habits. Still, no excuse. What's it like then?"
"About a mile wide. 300 meters tall. And somehow, around a billion years older than the planet it was built on."
The Doctor shifted and cleared his throat. "The Dead Palace?"
"Yes."
He scratched his nose. "No one's ever come out of it alive. Literally. People walk out dead. Real life zombies!"
"I know!" River leaned into his body and purred, "Interested?"
The Doctor bit his lip. "Maybe," he replied a little hoarsely.
"I'll make sure you don't regret it, sweetie" she murmured, reaching around the Doctor to yank a lever that caused him to jump and her to laugh. A few seconds later, they thudded to their destination and River strode away toward the door, leaving the Doctor to adjust his bow-tie and the fit of his trousers.
She yanked open the door and stared at him with wide, seemingly innocent eyes. "Coming?" she asked and received a blush and glower from him in return. He made a show of approaching the door in his own time, which River replied to with a roll of her eyes.
Now it was his turn to crowd her space and lower his voice like a threat or promise, "You do realize this is somewhere even the Time Lords feared to go. Whatever created this place, whatever unnatural power still lurks inside it, is something completely unknown, something we're completely unprepared for. It's very likely -almost certain even- that one or the both of us will die in there."
"I love it when you talk dirty," River answered, reaching into his jacket to snap one of his braces with a finger. They shared an excited smile before she turned and preceded him out of the TARDIS into the darkness beyond.
Just before the door swung closed, the sound of the Doctor's voice echoed against unseen stone walls back into the bright, open console room of the TARDIS, "Oh, River! You take me to the nicest places!"
____________
Fin
____________