Holy Yipe! (a new translation)
This was my father's reply to my original story. The edited words were in red, but the copy/paste left them strictly black. Ah well. Enjoy!
Afterward Cindy and Aaron went in and told Kiwi, "Thus says the Lord God of Israel: 'Let Otis go...' Exodus 5:1
And Kiwi said, "Who is the Lord, that I should obey His voice to let Otis go? I do not know the Lord, nor will I let Otis go." Exodus 5:2
So the Lord said to Cindy: "See, I have made you as God to Kiwi, and Aaron your boyfriend shall be your prophet. Exodus 7:1
And Kiwi sent and called for Cindy and Aaron, and said to them, "I have sinned this time. The Lord is righteous, and your dog Kiwi is wicked." Exodus 9:27
But the teeth of Kiwi became hard, and he did not let Otis go. Exodus 9:7
So Cindy stretched out her Bible over the land of Florida, and the Lord brought an east wind on the land all that day and all that night. When it was evening, the east wind brought the spiders. Exodus 10:13
And the spiders went up over all the land of Florida and rested on all the territory of Melbourne and on Cindy's Bible. They were very severe (and ugly); previously there had been no such spiders as they, nor shall there be such after them. Exodus 10:14
So Cindy stretched out her hand (very quickly) toward heaven, prayed "Ee-earp," threw her Bible across the room, and smote the evil Kiwi who learned his lesson for picking on Otis. Exodus 10:22
Lesson: There are 2 A's in Pharaoh and there are 2 I's in Kiwi.
Afterward Cindy and Aaron went in and told Kiwi, "Thus says the Lord God of Israel: 'Let Otis go...' Exodus 5:1
And Kiwi said, "Who is the Lord, that I should obey His voice to let Otis go? I do not know the Lord, nor will I let Otis go." Exodus 5:2
So the Lord said to Cindy: "See, I have made you as God to Kiwi, and Aaron your boyfriend shall be your prophet. Exodus 7:1
And Kiwi sent and called for Cindy and Aaron, and said to them, "I have sinned this time. The Lord is righteous, and your dog Kiwi is wicked." Exodus 9:27
But the teeth of Kiwi became hard, and he did not let Otis go. Exodus 9:7
So Cindy stretched out her Bible over the land of Florida, and the Lord brought an east wind on the land all that day and all that night. When it was evening, the east wind brought the spiders. Exodus 10:13
And the spiders went up over all the land of Florida and rested on all the territory of Melbourne and on Cindy's Bible. They were very severe (and ugly); previously there had been no such spiders as they, nor shall there be such after them. Exodus 10:14
So Cindy stretched out her hand (very quickly) toward heaven, prayed "Ee-earp," threw her Bible across the room, and smote the evil Kiwi who learned his lesson for picking on Otis. Exodus 10:22
Lesson: There are 2 A's in Pharaoh and there are 2 I's in Kiwi.