The One worth Suffering for chapter 11
Two forty-five was what the clock on the wall read and Jared was nowhere in sight. If he had changed his mind, then Jensen wished he had called instead of letting him sit there alone in a waiting room full of shiny happy couples. He had to endure pitying smiles of the expectant mothers and one expectant father whose mates did not stand them up.
He hated the board of baby pictures he had to look at each time he had a visit here. It was bad enough that as a Carrier he had to come here every three months, but to see those baby pictures of which none was his, hurt. Right now, he wanted to tear them all down because he knew that if he was not strong enough, this baby’s photo would not be there either.
Jensen was so busy scowling at the baby pictures that he didn’t hear Jared as he stepped behind him and had Jared not grabbed his arms he would have taken an elbow to his well-toned stomach for his troubles.
“Sorry I was running late, the client kept changing her mind,” Jared apologized softly in Jensen’s ear.
“I thought that you had changed your mind about coming,” Jensen stiffly confessed.
“I have never broken a promise to you Jen,”
“That’s right Jared, you just keep secrets,” he accused as he twisted his way out of Jared grip and went to sit down.
The two men sat there in silence until the nurse called Jensen’s name and even though it was not her fault, the nurse didn’t make it better when she looked at Jared and exclaimed, “congratulations papa!” and he was soon wearing a scowl to match Jensen’s.
After the nurse unknowingly stuck her foot in her mouth she showed them to an examination room where she informed Jensen he needed to get undressed and she would be back shortly to take his vitals. Jensen put on the little paper gown while trying to sneak furtive little glances at Jared to see how the nurses words affected him even after she came back to take his vitals.
He was still trying to read Jared’s face when the doctor entered the room to explain the purpose of this visit. “Today we are doing the blood work we didn’t get to do on your last visit,” the doctor explained.
“If the pregnancy is going to be terminated, then do we still need to do the blood work?” Jared questioned the doctor who was now staring at Jensen.
“I do not terminate pregnancies unless there is a medical reason,” Dr. Kripke explained as he reached into the pocket of his lab coat, pulling out a card giving it to Jared.
“This is the number of a colleague that does. Have Hillarie make the appointment for you.”
“Wait,” Jensen stopped him as he opened the door to leave, “I. I haven’t decided that I was going to terminate, Jared is jumping the gun here.”
Chewing nervously on his bottom lip, Jensen decided it was best to explain to the doctor why Jared was asking about the procedure.
Nodding his head, the doctor explained, “I do understand, but it is not a medical reason. If you decide to go through with this, please remember that it is unsafe for you after fifteen weeks. You have about six weeks before the decision is out of your hands.”
“Then for now let’s just do the blood work.”
Smiling at Jensen’s decision, the doctor called his nurse back in to get started.
Jensen had planned to invite Jared out to a late lunch, but after the exchange in the doctor’s office, he had him to follow him back to Chad’s instead. The conversation they needed to have would be best conducted in private.
Coffee and beer were out, damn this being pregnant sucked because Jensen needed one of them right now. It was a good thing he did not smoke because he would have start swinging as soon as Jared walked through the door.
“I stopped to get some food and I got you a salad because I wasn’t sure if you could handle something heavy,” Jared informed Jensen as though everything was okay.
“What the fuck Jared,” Jensen ground out.
Jared stopped fumbling with the food and looked at Jensen, “I don’t see any reason to put this off Jen, why waste time with those tests when you’re not going to keep this baby”
“You decided that for me huh?” Jensen was yelling now. “I don’t get a say in this.”
“I’m just doing what I have always done Jensen, protecting you. If you have this baby, how can you love it?” Jared asked yelling himself now. “I know you won’t be able to give it up and every time you look at it you’ll remember that night. You won’t be able to let it go.”
“Is that what you’re telling yourself Jared, that you’re protecting me? If you did half a good as good a job as you think, I would not be having someone else’s child. I understand that this is uncomfortable for you, but for a second I thought you were going to perform the procedure yourself.”
“What the hell is going on in here,” Chad spat at both men, “I can hear you yelling from the goddamned freeway!”
“Stay out of this Chad,” Jared warned between clenched teeth.
“No way man, this is my house and you two idiots are my friends.”
Looking from Chad to Jensen, Jared cocked his head and asked, “Is this what the problem is Jensen, do you have a new protector and you don’t need me any longer?” Unfortunately for Jared, his feet weren’t as fast as his mouth and he stumbled back as Jensen’s fist connected with his face.
It was hard to say which of the three men was the most shocked at this turn of events. In all of the years they had known each other, they had had disagreements but had never come close to blows and the fact that it was sweet tempered Jensen who had been the one to throw a punch was unfathomable.
Stepping in between the two men, Chad turned to Jared, “I know things are fucked up right now, so I’m going to ignore that, but I think it’s time for you to go.”
Jared nodded in agreement and walked out without so much as a glance in Jensen’s direction.
After the door slammed behind Jared, Chad turned to Jensen and quipped, “I guess with a right hook like that, I should probably stop calling you princess, huh.”
After Chad had to referee an argument after a twenty-four shift and for letting him crash there, Jensen cooked him his favorite meal in apology and thanks. Once he began preparing the meal, his phone kept buzzing. He knew it was Jared and each time he attempted to use his sore hand he ignored it because he was embarrassed at his actions. Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer.
Right now it’s your baby he doesn’t want, but how much longer before he turns on you as well.
Just how much more was he supposed to take? Jensen asked himself as he banged the pans he was using. He hit Jared, and it didn’t matter what Jared had did or said it did not warrant him being punched. Perhaps this text was his punishment for not letting Jared touch him, for wanting to be alone that night, for breathing.
“So it wasn’t enough that you went all Mike Tyson on Jared, but now you’re going to destroy my kitchen as well,” Chad questioned bemused.
“Look man, I’m sorry about that I just don’t know what came over me,” Jensen apologized. “If you want me to leave…”
“You cooked me lasagna because you want to leave? Go sit and get off your feet, and I’ll bring the food in.”
Once they were settled, Chad looked at Jensen and asked, “What’s going on Jen? It’s not like you and Jay to argue let alone actually hitting.”
“He wants me to have an abortion Chad, and for a short while I thought I could do it,” Jensen confessed as he sat back in his chair rubbing his hand down his face. “After I saw the sonogram I… just don’t think I can.”
“Then don’t,” Chad stated simply, “but what I don’t understand is why, you guys have been trying for a while.”
Taking in a deep breath Jensen hesitantly explained about the mystery man, the texts and the real reason Jared went to California.
“What are you about eight, nine weeks along?”
“Nine,” Jensen confirmed.
“Then you have six weeks to decide what you want not Jared, but make sure it is the right choice because either way you will kill a little piece of yourself.”
“So the douche thing is just an act huh?” Jensen guessed.
“Nah, it’s just that I become a real boy when I’m tired. Now eat. You need to build up your strength so you can apologize.”
Jensen was sick for the next two days and he was not sure if it was actual morning sickness or guilt, but his stomach protested each time he attempted to get out of bed. The good thing about living with a doctor was that he knew what treatment he needed. The bad thing about living with a doctor was he knew what treatment was needed and threatened to take Jensen to the hospital and hook him up to an IV drip if he didn’t stop throwing up soon.
Eventually the nausea subsided, however Chad made him spend the rest of the day in the bed, and the next day he called Donna Ackles in to make sure he followed doctors’ orders. What he had not counted on was her having Sherry Padalecki and Carrie Murray in tow.
Life was miserable enough being sick with one mother but being fussed over by three was going to drive him mad.
“Mom,” he complained as Donna brought him a bowl of broth, “I thought you said I needed to learn to take care of myself.”
“I did, but it seems that giving you boyfriend a black eye apparently takes a lot out of you.”
“I’m sorry. Is Sherry mad at me?”
“Not mad, just disappointed,” answered a voice from the doorway.
Sherry Padalecki and Carrie Murray entered the room and stood by their friend, Donna. “Jensen I am disappointed in both of you. What is happening to you and Jared?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. “I’m just scared that we won’t be able to get back to where we were before. It seems the harder we try, the further we slip away from each other.”
“Because of the things that have happened to you will never get back there again, “Carrie said, “but you and Jared can have something new and just as wonderful. Don’t let him tear you apart.”
“I’ll try.” He promised.
“That’s good,” Sherri Padalecki declared, “so let’s talk babies.
Jensen shot a worried glance at his mother and she shook her head telling him that she had not informed her friends that Jared was not the father enabling him to relax and let the women take over.
Morning came too early as the morning sickness woke Jensen. By the time it subsided he was awake and could not go back to sleep no matter how crappy he felt so he decided to make his way to the kitchen for toast and fake coffee to settle his stomach.
As he settled at the table to eat his toast, he grabbed his phone to return emails, and that was when he saw it. It looked harmless, and he thought it was an email concerning something listed on his online store, but was something far more sinister. Pictures. Pictures of him and Jared outside of the doctor’s office with the caption I see you.
This is what he was afraid of, that whoever this was, was still watching him. It was one thing when he thought the assailant was Jeff Morgan because knowing he was behind bars made him feel safer, but the thought of an unknown person stalking him made him sick. Did that mean if he had the baby that this person would try to harm him or the baby? Did that put Jared in danger as well?
Going through his contact list, he found the number for the officers because he may have not taken the texts seriously, but he would be stupid to ignore this. The voice mail kept picking up all morning but he called until Sheppard answered and told him to come into the office. What they didn’t tell him was that Jared would be there as well.
Jared’s eye looked worse than Jensen thought it would, or rather hoped it would. It was swollen shut and looked extremely painful almost as painful as his had before it healed. Jensen wanted to reach out and rub away the hurt he had caused but was not sure that his touch would be welcome or if he could follow through with it.
One of the other detectives in Ferris and Sheppard’s squad (Jensen couldn’t remember his name) escorted the men to an interview room and asked if they wanted something to drink as if he were a server in a restaurant. They both declined. “Ferris and Shep will be with you shortly,” he informed them and left the room.
They sat there not speaking, but each casting furtive glances when they thought the other one was not looking. It was when Jensen had stolen one of those glances that it struck him how much he missed the other man. It’s not as though they haven’t spent time apart, they have. But it was with the knowledge that they would be together again, this time Jensen wasn’t sure because of what he’ll have to give up to be with Jared again and the thought of never being with Jared again hurt.
The detectives entered the interview room and interrupted Jensen’s thoughts. “Gentlemen,” Sheppard greeted them.
Neither man responded verbally, they just nodded their heads in greeting. “Sorry we kept you waiting, but out lieutenant called in in for a briefing. So what brings the two of you here today?”
Jared nodded at Jensen indicating that he could go first, so Jensen grabbed his cell phone and pulled up the email he had received and showed it to the officer.
“Are those pictures of us?” Jared asked in a soft voice.
“Yes,” Jensen confirmed. “They were taken outside of Dr. Kripke’s office.”
“Mine were taken in front of Chad’s house,” Jared advised as he slid his phone to the officers as well.
”Normally this is where you would be advised to get a restraining order against this person, but it cannot be done if you do not know who this person is,” Ferris explained.
She rattled off her email address and asked both men to forward them to her, “This might be another dead end like the cell phones. It turns out they were the pay as you go kind and were untraceable.”
“Which leads us to our other problem,” Sheppard added. “Our lieutenant just informed us that Morgan has changed his tune and recanted his story. He is saying that the sex was consensual and it just got out of hand and he became scared and left Jensen there.”
“What…” Jensen sputtered.
“His lawyer is currently filing a petition to have him released on bail. They’ve found a judge willing to listen, so it’s possible Morgan could be free by the end of the week.”
previous next