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cigs_n_sarcasm

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Feb 28, 2008 20:21

The next few days should be...fun... Going drinking with somebody I've never met tomorrow night, got a new roommate, date this weekend, party next week... Somebody tell me since when I'm a social butterfly?

I'm glad something interesting's happening though, 'cause I'm really sick of work right now. If you have no clue how to fight, don't try to rob ( Read more... )

private to haku, work, tifa, how the hell did i end up popular?

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unhackable to Shizuru icedxshrapnel February 29 2008, 06:06:54 UTC

I can tell you one thing damn straight right now; If I ever end up hurting Yachiru again I'll be jumping off a high rise. Unless Kenpachi has the chance to catch me first and kill me, anyway. Still hoping for the latter so I know how I die in the end.

I can be straighforward, Shizuru - as long as a person doesn't try to intimiate me. I've just dealt with so many problematic things latley that I'm not sure of anything. All I know is ....

All I know is that I love her. I never would have been able to say that a week ago though. I'm really lost this time.

Private to Haku cigs_n_sarcasm February 29 2008, 06:26:49 UTC

You do know that would just hurt her even worse, right? Which would be really stupid on your part. I would have to make Kenpachi stop after injuring you enough that you couldn't kill yourself, but not quite enough to kill you. I don't know if I'm persuasive enough, 'cause I sure as hell can't physically force him to stop. (I doubt that he'd actually kill you, but that's just self-restraint on Yachiru's behalf ( ... )

Unhackable to Shizuru icedxshrapnel February 29 2008, 06:45:08 UTC

What comes off to you as really stupid only makes me think of how petty you think I am. Kenpachi wouldn't understand this, and who the hell knows if you would either. Only thing is that I know Yachiru understands AND she knows what I do in my profession and this whole thing makes it that much harder ( ... )

Private to Haku cigs_n_sarcasm February 29 2008, 07:14:14 UTC

No, I just hate suicide. It leaves the other person feeling utterly helpless. There's a reason I don't have a 'three-eyed fish' anymore, Haku. He fucking blew up a building with himself inside, and I couldn't convince him to leave with me! I've hidden it for years. My brother, my friends at the time. None of them even knew I was involved with him. They were thinking good riddance when he died, and I never contradicted them. I don't blame them, he'd done some pretty horrible things. I couldn't help how I felt about him though. He hated the whole world, but he cared about me for some reason, and I never understood why.

There, now you've got my non-sugarcoated version. I may have joked about it with you, but it's really not very funny ( ... )

Unhackable to Shizuru icedxshrapnel February 29 2008, 07:33:36 UTC

....Well shit.

You can't tell me I'm not tired of the drama, either. It's just all so fucked up a times.

Shizuru - I've been an top affiliate of an assasin since I met my guardian. A few years ago I took down a major political endeavor by killing the daughter of a man who was involved in an underground drug ring in Russia. They paid me, $120,000 - and wanted pictures of her death.

If you don't believe me, well - you've seen me fight. You know my capabilities and how fast I am.

Private to Haku cigs_n_sarcasm February 29 2008, 07:49:43 UTC

You know, the only thing about your revelation that bothers me is the fact that it obviously bothers you. Quite a lot. I think if you continue you may mess yourself up psychologically to a point that you can't cope with anything. Try not to let it get that far, okay?

I don't really have space to criticize. I may not be responsible for anything along those lines, but I've certainly witnessed and been indirectly involved in somewhat similar situations enough times, without doing anything to stop it, that I can't say I'm any less guilty.

And you are way too fucking fast, damn it. How do you get that fast?

((OOC: Shizuru knows her computer skills are not to the point that she can directly say anything without putting Haku at risk of being arrested. See, she's capable of being both discreet and considerate... sometimes. Shizuru doesn't post unhackables, lalalalala... And she's your mini unlicensed, unasked-for shrink! Woohoo!))

Unhackable to Shizuru icedxshrapnel February 29 2008, 16:19:52 UTC

I can handle my work, Shizuru. What bothers me is that I'm digging myself into a hole with Kenpachi - and trying to talk to him about what I do will only make it worse I'm afraid ( ... )

Private to Haku cigs_n_sarcasm February 29 2008, 17:20:13 UTC

If you say so...

I'm not going to commiserate about Kenpachi with you. I really like him, Haku. I haven't gotten along so well with anybody in ages. I suppose I'm relatively neutral at this point, but just... do you see where he's coming from? Because I do. And I can't blame him for it, even if I do like you. (The fact that I alternate between wanting to take care of you and wanting to punch you is probably better evidence of the fact that I like you than anything else... That's how I treat my brother. Fistfights are a staple of household relations in our family.)

For future reference, convoluted metaphors generally don't work too well.

I have to say yours is a better inheritance. All I got was a tendency to drink and a high alcohol tolerance. My only family's my younger brother, and he's so reckless I'm always amazed I still have him. For awhile, he was nearly getting himself killed on a weekly or daily basis.

Unhackable to Shizuru icedxshrapnel February 29 2008, 18:29:34 UTC

Tell me, Shizuru - how do you see Kenpachi in your own words?

Up until a couple of days ago, I just didn't realise how much I loved her. I never thought I'd see the day where someone would love me the way she does. It was just surreal.

Do you realise how hard it hurts when someone tells you not to come near someone you'd gladly die for? It's like being told you've got a disease and anyone you touch will die. I'm at a loss here. Your 'Three Eyed Fish' made you feel like that. I can't be a man about it when I know I'm in the wrong more than once. It's the shame of knowing that someone who I'd like to side with, also sides with someone who would rather see me dead in a ditch.

I didn't mean for it to sound so complicated. I had an image in my brain. Basically I'm using my wit and Kenpachi is using his brawl. I'll go up against him, if I've got to to keep Yachiru with me.

Private to Haku cigs_n_sarcasm February 29 2008, 19:35:31 UTC

Kenpachi's not a complicated person. You really need me to describe him? He reminds me of my brother in a lot of ways...utterly predictable except in a fight, but in a good way; you don't have to worry about him changing on you, even if he does disappear for awhile. You know he'll be just the same when he gets back. Loyal, stubborn and determined, loves a good fight. My brother Kazuma's the same, albeit much more immature and prone to being flaky at times. Probably why I'm so comfortable around Kenpachi. You don't need me to tell you what his motivations are. Anyone could see Yachiru's by far the most important one.

You've given him a reason not to want you around her, and you know it. You keep using that as an excuse to avoid him, you're obviously never gonna prove him wrong. Nobody likes being reminded of their mistakes, but if she's important enough to you, you just have to deal with it, whether it hurts or not ( ... )

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