(Untitled)

[cigs_n_sarcasm]

The next few days should be...fun... Going drinking with somebody I've never met tomorrow night, got a new roommate, date this weekend, party next week... Somebody tell me since when I'm a social butterfly?

I'm glad something interesting's happening though, 'cause I'm really sick of work right now.  If you have no clue how to fight, don't try to rob

Comments

Private to Haku

[cigs_n_sarcasm]

You do know that would just hurt her even worse, right? Which would be really stupid on your part. I would have to make Kenpachi stop after injuring you enough that you couldn't kill yourself, but not quite enough to kill you. I don't know if I'm persuasive enough, 'cause I sure as hell can't physically force him to stop. (I doubt that he'd actually kill you, but that's just self-restraint on Yachiru's behalf.)

And I knew that already. If I didn't think you cared about her, I would be attempting to beat you up rather than asking to talk to you. It's good that you're willing to say it though.

I'm just worried that you have so many things to work out at the moment (not that I know what they are, but I'm not blind, Haku) that you aren't really able to offer her anything but an unhealthy relationship right now. And I can't say I like all the tension it's causing between her and Kenpachi. I'd only attempt to mediate that if I saw some kind of indication that this was heading in a positive direction. Your statement doesn't give me that. People can be mutually in love and still tear each other or themselves to pieces. I've seen it happen.

Unhackable to Shizuru

[icedxshrapnel]

What comes off to you as really stupid only makes me think of how petty you think I am. Kenpachi wouldn't understand this, and who the hell knows if you would either. Only thing is that I know Yachiru understands AND she knows what I do in my profession and this whole thing makes it that much harder.

Here's the catch Shizuru - I'm everything, and nothing all at the same time. And if you want the elite version I'll tell it to you straight. So like I said when I first met you - if you want the sugar-coated candy version or the honest to God truth on this, then you've got to swear to me that it will never be re-uttered.

Only thing I have to work out is Kenpachi. Kenpachi could care less about me and you can't tell me that he doesn't.

All I have to 'work out' right now is for people to stop thinking I'm such a fucking asshole and to let me be in peace with only person who even gives a damn that I'm alive. It's like one minute everythings great and them someone has to throw shit at me.

But this is what I get for what I do for a living. Like I said, if you want to know the truth. You know what to do.

Private to Haku

[cigs_n_sarcasm]

No, I just hate suicide. It leaves the other person feeling utterly helpless. There's a reason I don't have a 'three-eyed fish' anymore, Haku. He fucking blew up a building with himself inside, and I couldn't convince him to leave with me! I've hidden it for years. My brother, my friends at the time. None of them even knew I was involved with him. They were thinking good riddance when he died, and I never contradicted them. I don't blame them, he'd done some pretty horrible things. I couldn't help how I felt about him though. He hated the whole world, but he cared about me for some reason, and I never understood why.

There, now you've got my non-sugarcoated version. I may have joked about it with you, but it's really not very funny.

You know, I've never cried about it. When I left the building, I was my usual calm self, smoking my cigarette and standing with my brother and our friends as we watched it go up in explosions and smoke and flames. That probably proves I'm pretty screwed up. I already knew that though.

I'm not the type to go repeating things, Haku. Don't put it on me. You can decide yourself whether you want to go telling the truth or bullshitting me. I'm hard to shock, I don't think I'll care either way. I'm just tired. I'm tired of all the drama, and people clawing at each other's throats, and everybody being unhappy anyways--if nobody's really happy, what purpose is all the trouble serving in the first place?

Unhackable to Shizuru

[icedxshrapnel]

....Well shit.

You can't tell me I'm not tired of the drama, either. It's just all so fucked up a times.

Shizuru - I've been an top affiliate of an assasin since I met my guardian. A few years ago I took down a major political endeavor by killing the daughter of a man who was involved in an underground drug ring in Russia. They paid me, $120,000 - and wanted pictures of her death.

If you don't believe me, well - you've seen me fight. You know my capabilities and how fast I am.

Private to Haku

[cigs_n_sarcasm]

You know, the only thing about your revelation that bothers me is the fact that it obviously bothers you. Quite a lot. I think if you continue you may mess yourself up psychologically to a point that you can't cope with anything. Try not to let it get that far, okay?

I don't really have space to criticize. I may not be responsible for anything along those lines, but I've certainly witnessed and been indirectly involved in somewhat similar situations enough times, without doing anything to stop it, that I can't say I'm any less guilty.

And you are way too fucking fast, damn it. How do you get that fast?

((OOC: Shizuru knows her computer skills are not to the point that she can directly say anything without putting Haku at risk of being arrested. See, she's capable of being both discreet and considerate... sometimes. Shizuru doesn't post unhackables, lalalalala... And she's your mini unlicensed, unasked-for shrink! Woohoo!))

Unhackable to Shizuru

[icedxshrapnel]

I can handle my work, Shizuru. What bothers me is that I'm digging myself into a hole with Kenpachi - and trying to talk to him about what I do will only make it worse I'm afraid.

Thanks for the subtlety. Having to act like I'm irrational is a real kick in the pants sometimes, and it's appreciated that you'd do that - Shizuru. I think you'll find me alot more rational in my behaviour reguarding things now - cause all this...'spazzing' is a front. I won't ever doubt that I love her, though. Not for one minute.

Big problem is Mr.Chess - Kenpachi. Logically he's got me in a mental match where all I have is my black knight, a couple pawns, and my king left. It's about the best I can explain for symbolism. My black knight continues to pull a reversal to counter his physical maneouvers and a pawn gets taken out. So? I retract to protect what little I have left.

Only problem is that he has entire control over the situation, meaning that his queen has me locked with every piece - and he's closing in on my king. All the king is, in retrospect - is Yachiru. She' also Kenpachi's queen, despite the pun. My queen, my guardian Zabuza - had withdrawn and went back to Japan. So I left the game for awhile. Only thing is Kenpachi started moving pieces at my king - and he's got one more move before he has me in checkmate. So I'm screwed - no matter how I look at it.

If it comes down to it that Kenpachi has done something to upset Yachiru - I'll throw down everything. I left that weekend to get rid of a suspicious vehicle that my guardian had left behind. So? I sold it off and got something low-key, and banked the rest. I figure Zabuza bought it for the face value, and how likely it was for it to be sold for used market value without losing too much money. It's alot easier than trying to leave cash at a bank and such. Talking my way into things - isn't so hard, talking my my way out? Isn't as easy.

My speed, is hereditary. Yet as far is I know? Every one of my family members are deceased.

Private to Haku

[cigs_n_sarcasm]

If you say so...

I'm not going to commiserate about Kenpachi with you. I really like him, Haku. I haven't gotten along so well with anybody in ages. I suppose I'm relatively neutral at this point, but just... do you see where he's coming from? Because I do. And I can't blame him for it, even if I do like you. (The fact that I alternate between wanting to take care of you and wanting to punch you is probably better evidence of the fact that I like you than anything else... That's how I treat my brother. Fistfights are a staple of household relations in our family.)

For future reference, convoluted metaphors generally don't work too well.

I have to say yours is a better inheritance. All I got was a tendency to drink and a high alcohol tolerance. My only family's my younger brother, and he's so reckless I'm always amazed I still have him. For awhile, he was nearly getting himself killed on a weekly or daily basis.

Unhackable to Shizuru

[icedxshrapnel]

Tell me, Shizuru - how do you see Kenpachi in your own words?

Up until a couple of days ago, I just didn't realise how much I loved her. I never thought I'd see the day where someone would love me the way she does. It was just surreal.

Do you realise how hard it hurts when someone tells you not to come near someone you'd gladly die for? It's like being told you've got a disease and anyone you touch will die. I'm at a loss here. Your 'Three Eyed Fish' made you feel like that. I can't be a man about it when I know I'm in the wrong more than once. It's the shame of knowing that someone who I'd like to side with, also sides with someone who would rather see me dead in a ditch.

I didn't mean for it to sound so complicated. I had an image in my brain. Basically I'm using my wit and Kenpachi is using his brawl. I'll go up against him, if I've got to to keep Yachiru with me.

Private to Haku

[cigs_n_sarcasm]

Kenpachi's not a complicated person. You really need me to describe him? He reminds me of my brother in a lot of ways...utterly predictable except in a fight, but in a good way; you don't have to worry about him changing on you, even if he does disappear for awhile. You know he'll be just the same when he gets back. Loyal, stubborn and determined, loves a good fight. My brother Kazuma's the same, albeit much more immature and prone to being flaky at times. Probably why I'm so comfortable around Kenpachi. You don't need me to tell you what his motivations are. Anyone could see Yachiru's by far the most important one.

You've given him a reason not to want you around her, and you know it. You keep using that as an excuse to avoid him, you're obviously never gonna prove him wrong. Nobody likes being reminded of their mistakes, but if she's important enough to you, you just have to deal with it, whether it hurts or not.

And no you won't, because that would upset Yachiru and I'd have to punch you both. (No favoritism, I'd hit him just as hard as you...)