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Aug 26, 2005 21:58

DISCLAIMER: I'm running on no sleep so excuse my icky spelling ability.

Update-

I'm back! Where have I been you ask? Rowe. Ahh, Rowe.

First, lemme fill in where I left off-

I'm not going to SRC. I did get in, but after having a bit of a breakdown I realized that I can't hack college yet. I'm cracking under HS pressure, Godforbid I have to deal with college pressure. I need the extra year.

Plus I didn't want to leave my friends-- but now that I'm back I've realized not one of them live in NY anyways. They're all ignoring me for whatever fucking reason. Ugh, I miss my non NY friends!! I feel so fucking goddamn alone, and it bites big time.

Humanities Prep will just have to deal with me for another hellish year.
And besides less pressure- a perk (possibly the only perk) is that I get to continue my volunteer work. Something I would've had to drop at SRC because 1) not enough time with all the classes 2) SRC is wayy out in the boonies- not much activity goin' on anyways.

To be honest though I'm kinda scared to be going back to Humanities. I feel so uneasy there. I don't want to get into it.

So, now to tell you about Rowe. It's this bohiemian/hippyish/punk rock love fest kinda camp. And FUCK do I miss it. I felt like I fit right in so well and so much and then BAM I'm back here- UGHHH. Rowe though kicked so much ass. It struck a chord in me that played a kind of hope that I had never experienced before. Gosh golly, I learned so much about myself and I learned that It's ok to be who I am. I know that it sounds lame, but whatev. I met so many beautiful amazing people there it's insane. And my apologies if I don't update on here much 'cause they're all on myspace (ewwwwwwwwwwww WHY MYSPACE WHY?!?). I would ramble on about it but it'll only make me all sad and way too fucking nostalgic and you prolly dont wanna hear it anyways. Plus, I've had a week for it to melt a bit out of my system. However, as I just got a comment on myspace from him- Eric- he's mucho on my mind. [[prepare yourself for massive boy-crazy attack]]. Eric was my boy toy. He was so fucking indescribably amazing, and perfect. And I felt perfect next to him. He was smart, he was sweet, he was sexy as hell. Fuck, I hate that I'm talking in the past tense. But he lives more than 5 hrs away. But, lemme ramble more. There's this line in a Nuetral Milk hotel song that reminds me so effen much of being with him "As we would lay and learn what each others bodies were for." [[warning- nonsequitor]] At Rowe you dont have to sleep in your own cabin so I would sleep in his and waking up next to him was so wonderful. I would wake up and I knew I looked like shit and he would be staring at me and the first thing he would say was "you're beautiful." And UGH he had a fantastic body. Sorry, that I'm being so incoherent right now- it's like a rush of thoughts that I haven't organized yet. not that you need to know but- messing around with him was more than fun. We're both very into biting and shit like that so it worked out well. ::Giggles:: Fuck I miss him, and I hate that I miss him. You know what, I'm sorry for the overshares, I should stop typing 'cause I couldn't possibly get it all down anyways.

Rest of the updates-
I'm vegan again.
I cut 18inches off of my hair.

Laters.
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