The delights of the sexual health clinic
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You know what really makes me laugh? That almost unbearable tension that presents itself in waiting rooms. To be specific, the waiting room in the sexual health clinic.
On my recent trip there, which I must state now was for my contraception top up, I bumped in to someone who I can't really count as a friend but more an associate. This associate has only ever talked to me during times of which I'm highly intoxicated!! So it was that awkward moment of establishing whether we remembered one another in our/my sobriety. However I went to say hello and he completely blanked me and avoided eye contact throughout the entire time I was in there.
I was, to say the least, quite infuriated by this and also slightly embarrassed as I thought maybe it was something I'd done in my drunken state the last time I'd seen him. But then, as I sat there and read my beloved Charlie Brooker article, I realised I was breathing in this weird air. There was a definite high dose of tension in the air and it was at that point that I realised HE was the embarrassed one. It's one thing to ask someone at the doctors whats up with them but in the sexual health clinic its the standard rule to avoid this question. So I have concluded that this chicken shit of a bloke probably had some kind of STD and wanted to pretend to be invisible so I would never tell anyone that I'd seen him there.
You see women have the upper hand in this situation. They can be in the sexual health clinic for a number of reasons. Going for their 6 monthly check up and stock up of the pill or other contraception, getting their smear test or finding out if they're pregnant as well as screening for those sexually transmitted nasties. However for blokes its much more limited, especially if you're of a certain age and look to be sexually experienced. This is when you are more than likely to be there for screening because you a) didn't use a johnny and now have penis rot or b) because you don't want to use a contraception anymore and want to know if you're all clear of aids, etc.
Due to how clearly uncomfortable this man seemed to look I would go with a) and also because this amuses me more.
Upon this realisation I sat there with a grin of satisfaction on my face and enjoyed watching him squirm in discomfort...although this could have been the STD playing up.