(no subject)
Title: Back Then
Prompt: #055, Shatter ; #098, Soothing
Pairing: Kangin/Leeteuk (Ninja!Eunhae)
Rating: PG-13 (Heavy angst, AU, Gangsters)
Type: Long oneshot
Summary: Heechul says something in a fit of anger that made Kangin remember back then, when he had lost everything and everyone, when he was filled with nothing but bitter hatred. Until he met Leeteuk.
A/N: I don't know if this counts as a warning or not, but I'll still put it just in case. There are OCs in this fics that have died. But not in much detail, and not the main charactors. If you'e not feeling to read a fic that have death in it, here's the warning. There's a happy ending though. :x
-
“Stop it! No, Heechul! Don't say anymore!”
“So what, you think you're the greatest in this school just because you're a little bit stronger and bigger sized, aren't you?”
“Greater than you, that I can tell!”
“Why you...”
Eunhyuk and Donghae stood aside, their faces painted full of worry as Leeteuk tried to hold back the brewing fight stirring before him. Heechul was devoid of fear, his anger on his face mirroring Kangin's.
“Stop, it! I don't want any fighting to happen in the school. Talk it out if you must, don't force me to bring you two to the principle's office!” Leeteuk roared, a sign that he was at his temper's limit. Heechul and Kangin had hesitated for a moment, because it is a rare moment when Leeteuk loses his temper.
Both of them looked at each other, before Kangin turned away first. “Che, I won't be so petty to lay a hand on a woman like you.” With that, he turned around and walked away heavily, ignoring the loud curses Heechul threw back.
“Heechul. Stop it. Its bad enough that you've provoked him, don't try to push it.” Leeteuk rubbed his brow tiredly, as he stared at the retreating back of Kangin's. Heechul immediately turned his scowl to Leeteuk, his voice high and indigent. “But its his fault! He's younger than me, and he's so cocky! Should have learnt some respect in classes, that insolent brat.”
“You should have known better than to dig his past out and throw it back on his face.” Leeteuk's eyes slid over to look at Heechul from the between of his fingers, as the other male's compliant jerked to a stop.
“...”
The bell rang, signaling that lunch break was almost over and students should get back to classes immediately. Leeteuk sighed again. School could make him feel really old sometimes; older than his grandmother. “Hyukkie, Hae, get back to class. I'll see to Kangin and Heechul, alright? Don't loiter!”
Eunhyuk and Donghae looked like they were about to say something, but they had agreed with a small mumble and began to shuffle away.
-
“Stupid fucker, think he's the boss just cause he's older than me...”
Kangin kicked a small and thin pebble on the pathway, watching it fly a distance away before landing on the ground and cracking into two. His eyes stared at the broken pebble for a moment, before Kangin stuffed his hands into his pocket before walking away.
So what if he didn't have any respect.
So what if he acted big, just because he was stronger and fiercer.
So what if he didn't have good parents to teach him respect.
So what if his parents were gangsters and they were killed in a brawl.
So what.
Kangin's scowl on his face deepened as he climbed the stairs up heavily, ignoring the bell that rang. He could ditch classes for he cared. Nobody liked him anyway.
Knowing very well that whatever Heechul said had been actually words that meant to hurt, Kangin still couldn't help but to think upon it. It had been like this ever since he was young, running about and watching kids from his neighborhood playing.
“Look, its that kid again. Is he trying to beat up and kill my children, like how his parents are like?”
“Go away! Don't come near my children! Go back to your hellhole!”
“Sorry, my mama said I can't play with you... She said you're dangerous and bad.”
“You're an outcast here! You don't belong here!”
The door towards the rooftop slammed open, and the strong wind blew against Kangin's face. Again and again, this shit happens again and again. When he was young, he couldn't really understand why people shunned and hated him.
He cried, but his father would always scold him for it. Tears are a sign of weakness, and you shouldn't show weakness to your enemies. That's what his father had said, growling in his low and rough voice. His mother had tried to comfort him in the way she knew best, by forcing the other children to play with him and getting him toys and games.
But this only fueled the other parents' hatred even more, till the point where people would chase him away by whacking him with brooms, stones, rubbish or even pouring dirty water on him.
Kangin had by then, realized that fact that maybe it had got something to do with his parents. Everyone had avoided his parents, and they live on a deserted place in the neighborhood. So he didn't tell them anything.
But they found out, when he came back home everyday with dirty clothes soaked in smelly and dirty water or rubbish. His father had been the enraged one, taking a knife from the kitchen and stomping to the door while his mother tried to calm him down.
The sight had broke his heart so much, that Kangin had started crying, squatting on the floor while bawling his frustrations in his heart out.
“I hate it. Why must Papa and Mama be so fierce? Everyone hate Kangin because of Papa and Mama. I hate Papa and Mama!!”
His father had stopped struggling against his mother, the knife going slack in his hands while his mother had her head bowed.
Kangin took out a pack and lighter from his pockets, a small faraway smile tugging on his lips. He had been so ignorant then. He didn't know that that was his parent's way of showing them their love for him. And he had screamed to them that he had hated them.
How foolish, how unfilial he had been. He had remembered each word he had screamed clearly, and Kangin had regretted saying it. And he haven't had the chance to say sorry for saying that to his parents.
When he was started schooling, Kangin had been bullied and pushed around by the students and the seniors around him. But he had kept his silence; not wishing for his parents to cause anymore trouble for his life.
But once, when Kangin had been dragged outside of school to be a punch bag for his seniors, one of his parent's buddy from their gang had caught hold of it. They had been more than furious after knowing it, rushing to Kangin's school.
They were such in a rush, so blinded by concern and worry for their only son, that they didn't realize that they were actually crossing into their enemy gang's territory area. And at that time, his parents were only with two of their closest buddies from the gang, so they were heavily out numbered.
It was chaotic and messy. Four against fifty, or even more, it was obvious who would win and who would not. But Kangin's parents never gave up, they had fought with what they had, and with all they've got.
But fists and sticks could never win against guns.
Kangin's parents weren't killed with a bullet.
They had been shot multiple times. First few times, on the arms and legs. When they had fell, unable to move due to the heavy blood loss from the wounds, they had been shot at their vital parts then. Their chest, their head, their face...
Even when it was obvious that they were dead and not breathing, the gang members didn't stop shooting, loading bullets and shooting continuously into their mutilated bodies.
The other two of their friends had managed to escape, with heavy wounds and severe blood loss. His parents had forced them to move, with only one thought in their mind.
Save my son. He's being bullied, he's getting beaten up. Save him, and show those bastards that dare to touch him the consequences.
It was only then the both of them had escaped, rather unwillingly. Kangin had been shocked and devastated, seeing the both of the limping towards him with the wounds they had. The boys that had been punching him, had ran away in fright upon seeing the blood on the two of them.
The smoke had entered Kangin's lungs, and his eyes closed in relief.
He remembered crying while he was at the hospital, the two males with wounds trying to comfort him while getting their wounds patched up. By this time, they had already contacted with the other members, and they had rushed towards the enemy area.
But they had left, and only his parents' bodies were left on the ground with blood splattered.
It had been unrecognizable, disgusting and destroyed.
The doctor had told the two males that there were more than ten bullets in their bodies, piercing their vital parts multiple times, ensuring death.
Kangin didn't know; he only kept crying while he was made to move and live with one of the males from the gang. He was only told so, when he had gotten older, at an age where he could think clearly.
By that time, the gang was already in a mess. People was leaving the group and getting weaker, other gangs were thrashing up their territory. Their leader was gone, and the group was vulnerable. But still, the male that was taking care of Kangin had sworn to take care of him till Kangin could earn for himself.
He did, and Kangin was grateful. He had studied hard in school, taking up part time jobs and worked hard as well, so as not to become a burden to the male he had known as a 'father' to him.
But when he was sixteen, the 'father' to him, had died while he was still at school. Apparently, some gangs had wanted his head due to his past records, and he had gotten ambushed. The landlord had informed Kangin about this information when he was back from work, that his 'father' was already pronounced dead a few hours ago.
It had been the same again. Never getting to see his parents for one last time, even when they are dead. Kangin's life had turned bitter and sour in an instant. His hate had burned heavily, from losing his sworn parents twice.
He had hated gangs since then, and turned rebellious in school. If anyone had gotten into his way, Kangin did the opposite of what he was when he was younger. He attacked without any hesitation, not stopping until he ensured his safety.
That's what you get if you're too weak. You get nothing but death.
His father's words had rang true in his head everyday. Kangin never knew true peace then, and he had always carried a weapon with him.
His parents were killed because of people waiting to ambush them at their weakest moment. Kangin realized, and he had sworn not to be jumped upon at moments like these. He was paranoid everyday, and he couldn't get good sleep.
His landlord, taking pity on him, and offered to let him stay with him in his apartment. But Kangin wasn't in the house most of time. Bitter hate had filled him to the brim, and he had loitered around the streets, hoping to bump into some of the people that had killed his parents.
Revenge must be taken. That's on his mind.
Kangin was failing his classes, a sudden drop from his usual great result. And his teacher had personally checked the reason why himself, shocked to find a number of sharp and dangerous weapons within and on Kangin. The principle had been called in, and he was questioned.
Kangin never said why, his eyes only filled with hate and bitterness, glaring at the principle.
Counselors and the police had been called him, and he was told to report to the station after school everyday to be checked upon.
The student body had gossiped about him, milling up rumors and facts that were never true before passing them around. He was labeled as a murderer soon, and things had went back to when it was when he was young.
The police had warned him again and again, to not go against their law of carrying sharp weapons and getting into fights. Kangin hadn't really cared, because they wouldn't understand the fear and the hate within him. He had been caned once, and he swore it hurt like everything combined together.
It had kept him down, but Kangin swore that if anyone had tried to bother him, he wouldn't hold back.
Life had picked up for a bit, as Eunhyuk came into his life. The freshmen kids were bullying him, calling him a monkey and sneering at him. Kangin got enraged seeing that, and he had only yelled at them before the kids had scattered like rats.
Eunhyuk had been friends with him ever since, and along with him came Donghae. They had been hesitating at first, a little afraid of Kangin's fierce look. But they had cheered up his life, and sucked the hatred in him away.
Leeteuk was next. Not hesitating, bright and cheery, he had found Kangin at the rooftop. Leeteuk was frustrated at that time, with all the stress being a class president and his class not listening to him. Kangin had been skipping classes, slacking at the rooftop.
That time, Leeteuk had surprised him with a smile on his face, fear and degradation devoid in his eyes. “Life's hard, isn't it? But the sky will always be blue, the sun will always rise, and time never stops. Life goes on, as well.” A smile that was brighter than the sun itself was patched on his face, a dimple on his cheek catching his gaze.
Kangin didn't really know how, but Leeteuk had became his closest and best friend. He would be there, growling at his class whenever they were disobedient to Leeteuk, and Leeteuk would be there, nagging at him to stop smoking while trying to swat the cigarette away from Kangin's fingers.
He had always failed, seeing the obvious height difference between the two of them.
Kangin looked at at his cigarette between his fingers, the lit end of the stick glowing bright orange.
Two years, after since his 'father' had died, after his bitter slump.
The door to the roof echoed a sudden bang and a loud curse rang out clear. Kangin inwardly chuckled, knowing who that person was. Throwing the cigarette onto the ground, he used the back of his shoes to crush it as Leeteuk limped into view.
“Darn it, I keep forgetting that they've placed a stupid handle there. Can't they change it back to the doors when you can just push them? And I've just used my whole strength to push that stupid door! My arm's going to dislocate and I'm going to swear that I'm su-Kangin!”
Sometimes the words that escaped from Leeteuk never failed to make him speechless.
“...Heechul didn't mean what he said, you know. He was just mad at you for not being respectful, you know the way he is. Don't think too much on it, alright? Hold on, have you been smoking?!”
Leeteuk's face had been worried and reassuring, before turning into a stern one. “No.” Kangin lied. “Liar. You practically smell like one giant cigarette stick.” Leeteuk concluded. Kangin only turned away, to hide his growing smile on his face.
Its a wonder how fast Leeteuk could change his mood sometimes. For a moment, he was depressed, and next, he was smiling again. Leeteuk was like a soothing new world to him. It calmed the raging storm within him, it had cooled his head down from doing rash things and made him smile.
His heart, that had been heavy from the recount of his memories was lifted up once again.
The door had opened once again, and Heechul poked his head in. “What, so you're really up here.” He walked in , his movements jerky and slightly shy, a big difference from his usual arrogant and proud self. Kangin didn't turn back to look at Heechul.
“...I'm sorry.”
It was muttered in such a soft voice, but Kangin caught hold of it. His heart was lifted up even further, as Kangin turned around to face him.
“...It was my fault too, hyung.”
Heechul looked slightly proud at that. “Proud to be called old.” Leeteuk had butted in, spoiling the moment and getting Heechul to yell at him. Kangin chuckled at the sight, feeling like he was really 18 this time.
That's right.
That was the past. He could move on, with Eunhyuk, with Donghae. With Leeteuk.
Leeteuk's loud laughter had rang in the air, free and true.
Title: What it takes
Prompt: #024, Spotlights
Pairing: Sungmin/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG-13 (Slight angst)
Type: Oneshot
Summary: You've got to let it all go, if you want to reach to the top.
-
“Do you love this feeling, Kyuhyun-yah?”
I jerked my head to the left, and Sungmin’s face was facing mine. He was smiling, but the usual glow in his eyes is not there.
Sweat was trailing down from the side of my face due to the heat in the stadium I was in. Along with the other members in Super Junior. Along with Sungmin, beside me. The spotlight was everywhere, shining on members at all corners of the stage.
It was hot.
My mind trailed back to Sungmin’s question, and he seemed to understand what I was thinking. Sungmin turned, before he raised his hand to wave at the sea of blue balloons on his right. “This feeling, of being worshipped and cherished by a thousand people.”
He turned back to face me again, this time waving to the balloons on the left. “Do you love it?” I knew what he was talking about.
The incident with Henry Lau. The new violin guy from Canada, invited to perform along with us in Don Don’t. The very same guy that may be hiccuping and crying at the backstage right now. My eyes trailed to the staircase leading towards the backstage.
“I like it. The feeling when people love us for our songs. But I dislike it, when they hurt someone because of it.”
The face on Sungmin’s face faltered, as he placed his arm by his side once again.
I gripped onto the microphone in my hands tightly.
…I didn’t like this neither. Because I understood what Henry was going through now. Going through a stage like this, I didn’t know why I was accepted so quickly, when Henry wasn’t.
No one wanted this decision, it was Lee Soo Man’s.
Henry didn’t request to be in Super Junior. But it was only Super Junior’s luck to get Henry. He was a talented boy. Maybe the fans can’t see, because they did not go through this before.
Obsess.
It means that we will earn more money, due to their wants for our goods or promotions. But it means that we’re playing with fire as well. When there are fans, there are bound to be haters as well.
Like what happened to Yunho-sshi.
Haters. Obsess. Fans.
Part of the deal, to climb up to the top, to feel the burn of the spotlight on your face, the scream of the fans that support you. Fame. Celebrity.
My hand twitched, before my fingers wrapped about Sungmin’s. I didn’t know what to answer, but I squeezed his hand. In reassurance, in hope, I don’t know myself. I only hope that Henry wouldn’t be rejected and scorned, in his first step in the industry world.
Sungmin knew.
And he understood. The concert went on as usual, only with some of the members sneaking off backstage to look at Henry. I sang as usual, while holding onto Sungmin’s hand.
The spotlight moved away from my face for an instant, as I felt the heat on my face leave.
Prompt: #055, Shatter ; #098, Soothing
Pairing: Kangin/Leeteuk (Ninja!Eunhae)
Rating: PG-13 (Heavy angst, AU, Gangsters)
Type: Long oneshot
Summary: Heechul says something in a fit of anger that made Kangin remember back then, when he had lost everything and everyone, when he was filled with nothing but bitter hatred. Until he met Leeteuk.
A/N: I don't know if this counts as a warning or not, but I'll still put it just in case. There are OCs in this fics that have died. But not in much detail, and not the main charactors. If you'e not feeling to read a fic that have death in it, here's the warning. There's a happy ending though. :x
-
“Stop it! No, Heechul! Don't say anymore!”
“So what, you think you're the greatest in this school just because you're a little bit stronger and bigger sized, aren't you?”
“Greater than you, that I can tell!”
“Why you...”
Eunhyuk and Donghae stood aside, their faces painted full of worry as Leeteuk tried to hold back the brewing fight stirring before him. Heechul was devoid of fear, his anger on his face mirroring Kangin's.
“Stop, it! I don't want any fighting to happen in the school. Talk it out if you must, don't force me to bring you two to the principle's office!” Leeteuk roared, a sign that he was at his temper's limit. Heechul and Kangin had hesitated for a moment, because it is a rare moment when Leeteuk loses his temper.
Both of them looked at each other, before Kangin turned away first. “Che, I won't be so petty to lay a hand on a woman like you.” With that, he turned around and walked away heavily, ignoring the loud curses Heechul threw back.
“Heechul. Stop it. Its bad enough that you've provoked him, don't try to push it.” Leeteuk rubbed his brow tiredly, as he stared at the retreating back of Kangin's. Heechul immediately turned his scowl to Leeteuk, his voice high and indigent. “But its his fault! He's younger than me, and he's so cocky! Should have learnt some respect in classes, that insolent brat.”
“You should have known better than to dig his past out and throw it back on his face.” Leeteuk's eyes slid over to look at Heechul from the between of his fingers, as the other male's compliant jerked to a stop.
“...”
The bell rang, signaling that lunch break was almost over and students should get back to classes immediately. Leeteuk sighed again. School could make him feel really old sometimes; older than his grandmother. “Hyukkie, Hae, get back to class. I'll see to Kangin and Heechul, alright? Don't loiter!”
Eunhyuk and Donghae looked like they were about to say something, but they had agreed with a small mumble and began to shuffle away.
-
“Stupid fucker, think he's the boss just cause he's older than me...”
Kangin kicked a small and thin pebble on the pathway, watching it fly a distance away before landing on the ground and cracking into two. His eyes stared at the broken pebble for a moment, before Kangin stuffed his hands into his pocket before walking away.
So what if he didn't have any respect.
So what if he acted big, just because he was stronger and fiercer.
So what if he didn't have good parents to teach him respect.
So what if his parents were gangsters and they were killed in a brawl.
So what.
Kangin's scowl on his face deepened as he climbed the stairs up heavily, ignoring the bell that rang. He could ditch classes for he cared. Nobody liked him anyway.
Knowing very well that whatever Heechul said had been actually words that meant to hurt, Kangin still couldn't help but to think upon it. It had been like this ever since he was young, running about and watching kids from his neighborhood playing.
“Look, its that kid again. Is he trying to beat up and kill my children, like how his parents are like?”
“Go away! Don't come near my children! Go back to your hellhole!”
“Sorry, my mama said I can't play with you... She said you're dangerous and bad.”
“You're an outcast here! You don't belong here!”
The door towards the rooftop slammed open, and the strong wind blew against Kangin's face. Again and again, this shit happens again and again. When he was young, he couldn't really understand why people shunned and hated him.
He cried, but his father would always scold him for it. Tears are a sign of weakness, and you shouldn't show weakness to your enemies. That's what his father had said, growling in his low and rough voice. His mother had tried to comfort him in the way she knew best, by forcing the other children to play with him and getting him toys and games.
But this only fueled the other parents' hatred even more, till the point where people would chase him away by whacking him with brooms, stones, rubbish or even pouring dirty water on him.
Kangin had by then, realized that fact that maybe it had got something to do with his parents. Everyone had avoided his parents, and they live on a deserted place in the neighborhood. So he didn't tell them anything.
But they found out, when he came back home everyday with dirty clothes soaked in smelly and dirty water or rubbish. His father had been the enraged one, taking a knife from the kitchen and stomping to the door while his mother tried to calm him down.
The sight had broke his heart so much, that Kangin had started crying, squatting on the floor while bawling his frustrations in his heart out.
“I hate it. Why must Papa and Mama be so fierce? Everyone hate Kangin because of Papa and Mama. I hate Papa and Mama!!”
His father had stopped struggling against his mother, the knife going slack in his hands while his mother had her head bowed.
Kangin took out a pack and lighter from his pockets, a small faraway smile tugging on his lips. He had been so ignorant then. He didn't know that that was his parent's way of showing them their love for him. And he had screamed to them that he had hated them.
How foolish, how unfilial he had been. He had remembered each word he had screamed clearly, and Kangin had regretted saying it. And he haven't had the chance to say sorry for saying that to his parents.
When he was started schooling, Kangin had been bullied and pushed around by the students and the seniors around him. But he had kept his silence; not wishing for his parents to cause anymore trouble for his life.
But once, when Kangin had been dragged outside of school to be a punch bag for his seniors, one of his parent's buddy from their gang had caught hold of it. They had been more than furious after knowing it, rushing to Kangin's school.
They were such in a rush, so blinded by concern and worry for their only son, that they didn't realize that they were actually crossing into their enemy gang's territory area. And at that time, his parents were only with two of their closest buddies from the gang, so they were heavily out numbered.
It was chaotic and messy. Four against fifty, or even more, it was obvious who would win and who would not. But Kangin's parents never gave up, they had fought with what they had, and with all they've got.
But fists and sticks could never win against guns.
Kangin's parents weren't killed with a bullet.
They had been shot multiple times. First few times, on the arms and legs. When they had fell, unable to move due to the heavy blood loss from the wounds, they had been shot at their vital parts then. Their chest, their head, their face...
Even when it was obvious that they were dead and not breathing, the gang members didn't stop shooting, loading bullets and shooting continuously into their mutilated bodies.
The other two of their friends had managed to escape, with heavy wounds and severe blood loss. His parents had forced them to move, with only one thought in their mind.
Save my son. He's being bullied, he's getting beaten up. Save him, and show those bastards that dare to touch him the consequences.
It was only then the both of them had escaped, rather unwillingly. Kangin had been shocked and devastated, seeing the both of the limping towards him with the wounds they had. The boys that had been punching him, had ran away in fright upon seeing the blood on the two of them.
The smoke had entered Kangin's lungs, and his eyes closed in relief.
He remembered crying while he was at the hospital, the two males with wounds trying to comfort him while getting their wounds patched up. By this time, they had already contacted with the other members, and they had rushed towards the enemy area.
But they had left, and only his parents' bodies were left on the ground with blood splattered.
It had been unrecognizable, disgusting and destroyed.
The doctor had told the two males that there were more than ten bullets in their bodies, piercing their vital parts multiple times, ensuring death.
Kangin didn't know; he only kept crying while he was made to move and live with one of the males from the gang. He was only told so, when he had gotten older, at an age where he could think clearly.
By that time, the gang was already in a mess. People was leaving the group and getting weaker, other gangs were thrashing up their territory. Their leader was gone, and the group was vulnerable. But still, the male that was taking care of Kangin had sworn to take care of him till Kangin could earn for himself.
He did, and Kangin was grateful. He had studied hard in school, taking up part time jobs and worked hard as well, so as not to become a burden to the male he had known as a 'father' to him.
But when he was sixteen, the 'father' to him, had died while he was still at school. Apparently, some gangs had wanted his head due to his past records, and he had gotten ambushed. The landlord had informed Kangin about this information when he was back from work, that his 'father' was already pronounced dead a few hours ago.
It had been the same again. Never getting to see his parents for one last time, even when they are dead. Kangin's life had turned bitter and sour in an instant. His hate had burned heavily, from losing his sworn parents twice.
He had hated gangs since then, and turned rebellious in school. If anyone had gotten into his way, Kangin did the opposite of what he was when he was younger. He attacked without any hesitation, not stopping until he ensured his safety.
That's what you get if you're too weak. You get nothing but death.
His father's words had rang true in his head everyday. Kangin never knew true peace then, and he had always carried a weapon with him.
His parents were killed because of people waiting to ambush them at their weakest moment. Kangin realized, and he had sworn not to be jumped upon at moments like these. He was paranoid everyday, and he couldn't get good sleep.
His landlord, taking pity on him, and offered to let him stay with him in his apartment. But Kangin wasn't in the house most of time. Bitter hate had filled him to the brim, and he had loitered around the streets, hoping to bump into some of the people that had killed his parents.
Revenge must be taken. That's on his mind.
Kangin was failing his classes, a sudden drop from his usual great result. And his teacher had personally checked the reason why himself, shocked to find a number of sharp and dangerous weapons within and on Kangin. The principle had been called in, and he was questioned.
Kangin never said why, his eyes only filled with hate and bitterness, glaring at the principle.
Counselors and the police had been called him, and he was told to report to the station after school everyday to be checked upon.
The student body had gossiped about him, milling up rumors and facts that were never true before passing them around. He was labeled as a murderer soon, and things had went back to when it was when he was young.
The police had warned him again and again, to not go against their law of carrying sharp weapons and getting into fights. Kangin hadn't really cared, because they wouldn't understand the fear and the hate within him. He had been caned once, and he swore it hurt like everything combined together.
It had kept him down, but Kangin swore that if anyone had tried to bother him, he wouldn't hold back.
Life had picked up for a bit, as Eunhyuk came into his life. The freshmen kids were bullying him, calling him a monkey and sneering at him. Kangin got enraged seeing that, and he had only yelled at them before the kids had scattered like rats.
Eunhyuk had been friends with him ever since, and along with him came Donghae. They had been hesitating at first, a little afraid of Kangin's fierce look. But they had cheered up his life, and sucked the hatred in him away.
Leeteuk was next. Not hesitating, bright and cheery, he had found Kangin at the rooftop. Leeteuk was frustrated at that time, with all the stress being a class president and his class not listening to him. Kangin had been skipping classes, slacking at the rooftop.
That time, Leeteuk had surprised him with a smile on his face, fear and degradation devoid in his eyes. “Life's hard, isn't it? But the sky will always be blue, the sun will always rise, and time never stops. Life goes on, as well.” A smile that was brighter than the sun itself was patched on his face, a dimple on his cheek catching his gaze.
Kangin didn't really know how, but Leeteuk had became his closest and best friend. He would be there, growling at his class whenever they were disobedient to Leeteuk, and Leeteuk would be there, nagging at him to stop smoking while trying to swat the cigarette away from Kangin's fingers.
He had always failed, seeing the obvious height difference between the two of them.
Kangin looked at at his cigarette between his fingers, the lit end of the stick glowing bright orange.
Two years, after since his 'father' had died, after his bitter slump.
The door to the roof echoed a sudden bang and a loud curse rang out clear. Kangin inwardly chuckled, knowing who that person was. Throwing the cigarette onto the ground, he used the back of his shoes to crush it as Leeteuk limped into view.
“Darn it, I keep forgetting that they've placed a stupid handle there. Can't they change it back to the doors when you can just push them? And I've just used my whole strength to push that stupid door! My arm's going to dislocate and I'm going to swear that I'm su-Kangin!”
Sometimes the words that escaped from Leeteuk never failed to make him speechless.
“...Heechul didn't mean what he said, you know. He was just mad at you for not being respectful, you know the way he is. Don't think too much on it, alright? Hold on, have you been smoking?!”
Leeteuk's face had been worried and reassuring, before turning into a stern one. “No.” Kangin lied. “Liar. You practically smell like one giant cigarette stick.” Leeteuk concluded. Kangin only turned away, to hide his growing smile on his face.
Its a wonder how fast Leeteuk could change his mood sometimes. For a moment, he was depressed, and next, he was smiling again. Leeteuk was like a soothing new world to him. It calmed the raging storm within him, it had cooled his head down from doing rash things and made him smile.
His heart, that had been heavy from the recount of his memories was lifted up once again.
The door had opened once again, and Heechul poked his head in. “What, so you're really up here.” He walked in , his movements jerky and slightly shy, a big difference from his usual arrogant and proud self. Kangin didn't turn back to look at Heechul.
“...I'm sorry.”
It was muttered in such a soft voice, but Kangin caught hold of it. His heart was lifted up even further, as Kangin turned around to face him.
“...It was my fault too, hyung.”
Heechul looked slightly proud at that. “Proud to be called old.” Leeteuk had butted in, spoiling the moment and getting Heechul to yell at him. Kangin chuckled at the sight, feeling like he was really 18 this time.
That's right.
That was the past. He could move on, with Eunhyuk, with Donghae. With Leeteuk.
Leeteuk's loud laughter had rang in the air, free and true.
Title: What it takes
Prompt: #024, Spotlights
Pairing: Sungmin/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG-13 (Slight angst)
Type: Oneshot
Summary: You've got to let it all go, if you want to reach to the top.
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“Do you love this feeling, Kyuhyun-yah?”
I jerked my head to the left, and Sungmin’s face was facing mine. He was smiling, but the usual glow in his eyes is not there.
Sweat was trailing down from the side of my face due to the heat in the stadium I was in. Along with the other members in Super Junior. Along with Sungmin, beside me. The spotlight was everywhere, shining on members at all corners of the stage.
It was hot.
My mind trailed back to Sungmin’s question, and he seemed to understand what I was thinking. Sungmin turned, before he raised his hand to wave at the sea of blue balloons on his right. “This feeling, of being worshipped and cherished by a thousand people.”
He turned back to face me again, this time waving to the balloons on the left. “Do you love it?” I knew what he was talking about.
The incident with Henry Lau. The new violin guy from Canada, invited to perform along with us in Don Don’t. The very same guy that may be hiccuping and crying at the backstage right now. My eyes trailed to the staircase leading towards the backstage.
“I like it. The feeling when people love us for our songs. But I dislike it, when they hurt someone because of it.”
The face on Sungmin’s face faltered, as he placed his arm by his side once again.
I gripped onto the microphone in my hands tightly.
…I didn’t like this neither. Because I understood what Henry was going through now. Going through a stage like this, I didn’t know why I was accepted so quickly, when Henry wasn’t.
No one wanted this decision, it was Lee Soo Man’s.
Henry didn’t request to be in Super Junior. But it was only Super Junior’s luck to get Henry. He was a talented boy. Maybe the fans can’t see, because they did not go through this before.
Obsess.
It means that we will earn more money, due to their wants for our goods or promotions. But it means that we’re playing with fire as well. When there are fans, there are bound to be haters as well.
Like what happened to Yunho-sshi.
Haters. Obsess. Fans.
Part of the deal, to climb up to the top, to feel the burn of the spotlight on your face, the scream of the fans that support you. Fame. Celebrity.
My hand twitched, before my fingers wrapped about Sungmin’s. I didn’t know what to answer, but I squeezed his hand. In reassurance, in hope, I don’t know myself. I only hope that Henry wouldn’t be rejected and scorned, in his first step in the industry world.
Sungmin knew.
And he understood. The concert went on as usual, only with some of the members sneaking off backstage to look at Henry. I sang as usual, while holding onto Sungmin’s hand.
The spotlight moved away from my face for an instant, as I felt the heat on my face leave.