february advent, day 3 for idolrapper; 2/2
his result goes down slightly better than expected: his mother doesn't confiscate his phone, his father's hurrying to the airport out on a business trip and barely spares him five minutes on a lecture about what a disappointment the result is and how junhwe doesn't get that 3.7 GPA he's going to die uneducated and alone, and doesn't junhwe see the importance of studies, his parents want the best for him, why can't junhwe see that and try to put in more effort?
his mother nods through the entire thing, passes junhwe a peeled apple with the declaration, "and you're grounded," and goes to the living room.
alone in the kitchen, just as much as he is everywhere else in life, junhwe stares at the apple in his hand, at the angry F paper in the other, the window opposite him that faces the pile of neighborhood trashcans, and sighs.
-
upstairs in his room, junhwe takes his phone out of his pocket with some difficulty.
to: ❀
sorry
from: ❀
don't TELL me
don't want to hear this
to: ❀
failed a test
grounded
from: ❀
for the love of
junhwe takes a miserable bite of his apple and trudges around his room.
might as well go over the test again, put some effort so i don't die uneducated, he thinks, scratching his armpit with his free hand. might as well sleep for a hundred years. might as well.
-
he doesn’t do either, of course. the doorbell rings while he's starting up for another round of wii tennis, but he doesn't pay any mind until he hears his mother.
"oh, yes, sure! he's upstairs, first room on the left."
a knock on the door.
junhwe swallows.
another knock on the door.
this is not a horror movie, he tells himself, and takes in a deep breath before saying, "come in!"
junhwe, being a gut person, has correctly predicted donghyuk's coming. this is why he on purpose shoves away the other, new greasy-twisty gut feeling he gets when donghyuk opens the door and grins at him.
he has his glasses on, and somehow, an earring. junhwe's guts drop the bass and start krumping. junhwe puts his figurative foot down. junhwe stands still and gawps at donghyuk until the grin falters a little.
"hello?" donghyuk tries, which snaps junhwe out of it.
"old pal!" junhwe puts on a broad smile and spreads his arms. his character gets hit in the face with a tennis ball. "come on in! it's been ages!"
donghyuk looks spooked, and begins stepping into the room gingerly. "oh," he says, "yes. ages. didn't i see you at school today?"
"you might have," junhwe admits, with affected nonchalance. "didn't see you, though." which is a lie, but it's okay, it's donghyuk.
except donghyuk is staring at the floor with a - dare junhwe think this? - slightly disappointed expression.
before junhwe has a chance to think of anything else, donghyuk looks up and says, "i heard about your test."
oh, buddha. was his failure world news now? should junhwe expect a call from obama anytime soon? kim jongun, maybe? lee hyori? but donghyuk's still talking, so junhwe drags his attention back to him.
"and jinhwan hyung invited me to the, uh," donghyuk hesitates, "this party? but i figured -"
no no. see, this is what junhwe can't understand. he cannot grasp the kinds of things donghyuk does, like ace at math, or be nice to junhwe, or have sex with people, or read good books, or help a sleeping guy out in class. junhwe can't take it.
"i'd, you know," donghyuk shrugs, smiling shyly at junhwe's knees, "kinda... bring the party to you."
junhwe’s world is crashing and reforming.
-
donghyuk has beers in his bag.
"if my mother knew," junhwe starts, and gets a can shoved into his lap.
"but she doesn't," donghyuk cuts in, laughing, and pulls a tab. foam spurts all over them, and for a while, junhwe lets himself relax.
"here," donghyuk says, leaning over junhwe's shoulder and grabbing a controller. he's warm and a little sweaty, they both are, the heater's on a bit higher than it should be. "come on," donghyuk says, grinning and standing up. junhwe blinks up at him, a little dazed.
"come on!" donghyuk shakes the controller in front of him. "i'm playing against you, controller in one hand, can in the other. you're going to do the same, and we're going to try not to spill."
junhwe stops being dazed. "my mother," junhwe hisses, "will commit that thing called child murder , if she finds out we're staining my floor with alco-"
there are footsteps on the stairs, and quick as breathing donghyuk slides both their cans under the bed and stands unassumingly in front of junhwe.
ass, junhwe notes.
then, i can't believe i'm thinking of ass.
then, cute ass though.
it takes a moment for junhwe to grasp the gravity of what he's actually thinking, and he shakes his head abruptly of rear ends when he does. he peers around donghyuk to smile at his mother, as if he wasn't just thinking about this guy's ass.
his mother smiles back. "snacks?"
sn-ass, junhwe deliberates, and says, "nah, we're good," at the same time donghyuk says, "no, thank you."
"junhwe's friend has such good manners!" junhwe's mother says, smile fixed in place. "perhaps junhwe can learn from him." then she goes back downstairs.
donghyuk hurries to close the door, and the door's click is followed by some silence. "well," donghyuk turns around, brightly. "let's drink to that."
"my mother," junhwe mumbles, momentarily a thoughtful son.
"loves you no matter what," donghyuk completes with a grunt, pulling the cans out from under the bed. “here, come on, she wanted you to learn from me.” donghyuk wriggles his shoulders (junhwe tries not think of his scapula), stretches his arms carefully, and assumes his tennis player stance. he throws junhwe a pointed look over his shoulder. “so learn.”
junhwe picks up his can, his controller, his dignity and stands at the ready. there are more interesting things out there to learn, flits through his mind lazily, and he jerks, spilling beer over the floor before anyone has even started anything.
“oh, man,” donghyuk grins, pressing play . “you’re easy.”
more like too fucking easy, but junhwe will accept underestimations in this field. they work to his advantage.
-
at least, he thinks they do, but donghyuk manages to beat him in every single round notwithstanding.
at the fifth, junhwe really has enough. he’s not sure if it’s of beer or of losing. maybe it’s both. anyhow, it’s a good thing that donghyuk drops the controller on the bed and calls it off. “it’s getting too boring,” he says, “i promised you a party.”
“it’s okay,” junhwe says, awkwardly. he jumps back on the bed and bounces a little. “i don’t mind.”
donghyuk makes a noise of disagreement and starts wandering around the room, trailing his fingers over all the books on the shelves. “didn’t know you read this much,” he comments.
“people always assume i don't read!” junhwe protests.
“it’s because you’re loud and don’t say anything of consequence,” donghyuk tells him, which is even worse than jinhwan’s explanation, if a little similar. “hey,” donghyuk whispers, bending low to see the first shelf. “no way. you’ve read orange? the orange? the shoujo manga orange, by takano ichigo?”
“correct,” junhwe yawns, “there’s no way i’d read a shoujo manga called orange by takano ichigo. it’s my mom’s.”
he makes the mistake of glancing over at donghyuk, who’s wearing that disappointed expression again, and really, he’s not even cute when he’s sad, but for some reason junhwe can’t stand that face so he rescinds and says, “okay okay, i read it, i was lying. she prefers anime anyway.”
“oh,” donghyuk grins, flipping through the pages of volume three, because junhwe knows the manga cover to cover by heart. “what’s her favorite series?”
junhwe gives him a look. “how should i know?"
“i mean,” donghyuk looks back, confused, “you guys live in the same house, right?”
“listen, keep it down,” junhwe hisses. “you didn’t hear this from me. it’s some yaoi thing, okay? this guy’s hands are huge. gives me the creeps.”
donghyuk bursts out laughing, and junhwe hates to admit it and will never admit it, but donghyuk is cute like this. really goddamn cute. his eyes are squeezed shut and his mouth is wide open and none of this should be cute under any circumstances, but his teeth are shiny and he sounds hilarious and it’s. jaw-grindingly, frustratingly cute.
in an effort to stop himself from doing something stupid, junhwe cuts him short. "hey, let me show you something."
"shoot," donghyuk smiles, sitting on junhwe's desk. his legs dangle. fucking adorable. junhwe clears his throat and rummages around in his closet, before pulling something out of its depths. donghyuk gasps as soon as he sees it.
"no."
"yes," junhwe waves it around proudly. "take a look at this. pristine."
pristine is pushing it, but it really is well kept for the ten years it's weathered through, the three times it’s been lumped with sneakers and chainsaws during house moves, and that one occurrence where it was dropped accidentally down two floors and into the trash.
donghyuk climbs onto the bed eagerly, patting the space next to him. “you’re telling me this is the spoil of our first war?”
“hell yes,” junhwe says. “you were sick and absent for weeks and i transferred before you got back, but i mean.” he waves it around again. “i got the stamps from that fight. i’m tenacious.”
“god,” donghyuk shakes his head. “we did get into a fight, didn’t we? i wanted a thomas the train engine sticker.”
“sure did. you punched me in the nose and then the bullies came and you started punching them, too.”
“oh, dude,” donghyuk groans, closing his eyes. “don’t remind me. i’m so sorry for punching you in the nose. we could’ve been friends.”
junhwe’s busy flipping through the pages. “yeah, but,” he points out, “you did, and now look at this.”
donghyuk looks at him with big, sad eyes. junhwe splutters. “what the - what’re you crying for - oh, seriously?” he catches on. “apology accepted , quit being soft and look at this page.”
appeased, donghyuk looks at said page and starts laughing again. “a whole two fold? you started collecting thomas stickers?”
“i was gonna give them to you,” junhwe confesses. “but then we moved.”
donghyuk quiets down. “and you just told me to quit being soft.” but he’s grinning, about to laugh again, leaning his weight forwards on his hands.
“you,” junhwe says, and hits donghyuk’s arm as a means of an intelligent response.
it backfires; donghyuk slips, chin catching onto junhwe’s shoulder, and they both tumble back on the pillows. junhwe recalls how they’re both warm and sweaty, because now he can feel donghyuk’s hand beside his arm, braced against the sheets. he can feel donghyuk’s breath, a little stilted with surprise and moist on junhwe’s cheek.
“okay,” donghyuk says, sounding a little breathless, and junhwe looks at him. his glasses are askew, his mouth is a little open, and he’s looking a little lost, a little -
“i think,” junhwe whispers, mouth suddenly dry, and donghyuk sits up at once.
“yeah,” donghyuk laughs, and he sounds more nervous and self-conscious than junhwe has seen him be in the past however much time they’ve just spent in this room. “yeah, i think i should go.”
“wait,” junhwe says, sitting up too. but donghyuk is already standing off and stuffing the empty cans into his bag.
“here.” donghyuk says, flipping a shirt from the floor over the stains. “i’d help clean up, but i really -” he pauses, looking back at junhwe. “i really shouldn’t be here.”
junhwe doesn’t understand. he didn’t before anyway, but now he really doesn’t. he watches donghyuk leave the room, door shutting quietly behind him.
junhwe stares at the door for quite a while. apparently he, junhwe, is attracted to donghyuk, if nobody else. he lies back down slowly and folds his arms over his chest.
-
donghyuk, junhwe realizes, seems to be leading him on a path of self-discovery. never before has junhwe been so aware of his own characteristics, of what makes him, goo junhwe, really and absolutely, goo junhwe.
where hanbin or jinhwan would lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and hate themselves, junhwe is proud to say that he lies in bed, stares at the ceiling and proceeds to hate donghyuk.
ah, donghyuk. how doth junhwe hate thee? let him (junhwe) count the ways.
junhwe despises how hot donghyuk is, first of all. second, junhwe dislikes that he works at the library and appreciates poetry and has vivid burgundy for a favorite color. he hates that donghyuk is a nice fucking person to junhwe and the world in general, that donghyuk was about to do something very pleasant (by the looks of it) to junhwe’s mouth but restrained himself. he is utterly disgusted by the fact that donghyuk sounded so convincing back in the bathroom and would probably look really cool as an actor.
and speaking of counting ways, junhwe wants to count donghyuk's lashes and name each one after an angel, or a bird of paradise, or - junhwe sits up in abject horror.
this isn't junhwe lying down and staring at the ceiling and hating donghyuk, this is junhwe - junhwe doesn't complete the thought. he has an ego, and he'll damn well keep it. or at least try to. same thing anyway - goo junhwe always succeeds at what he sets out to do.
there’s a pause after he thinks this.
“that’s a lie,” junhwe accedes, to the tv screen.
-
jinhwan avoids junhwe for three days afterwards, but junhwe doesn’t actually notice because he’s avoiding the entire world.
he doesn’t have any pressuring appointments or assignment deadlines to meet, so he can avoid the teachers a bit, too.
of course, there is the cursed astronomy one, but thankfully he just needs to submit it in the afternoon during the 45 minute astronomy slot. no more moonlight for junhwe, no more donghyuk-focused accidental voyeurism. everything will be just fine - once he submits his paper on Locating the Center of the Universe Using Globular Clusters.
so until then, he has decided to minimize human interaction as much as possible.
on friday he keeps to himself and avoids everyone, on saturday he keeps to himself and avoids everyone, on sunday jinhwan gives in and texts him.
from: ❀
good morning useless
it arrives at 5 p.m., which tells a lot more about jinhwan’s sleeping hours than it does junhwe’s. junhwe doesn’t deign it with a reply.
on monday during lunch break, yunhyeong texts him as well, although for different reasons.
from: ⭐ yoyo hyung
CHECK OUT THIS DOG
IMG-20160201-WA0002.JPG
it looks like u
how is my fave doing, huh?
junhwe’s cold, icy heart gets as close to aching as it dares, but he refuses to reply. he and donghyuk almost did something, and he’s managed to convince himself that if he attempts any kind of human contact before the sun sets on tuesday, everything will get even more screwed up.
junhwe looks sadly at the distance between his own shoes and the neon green pumps: five thousand miles apart. his iPod starts playing california king bed by rihanna, which doesn’t help his mood.
jinhwan walks up to him and plops himself down beside junhwe.
“hey,” he nods, hands in his pockets. “didn’t make it to the party.”
junhwe is silent.
“that’s okay. i mean, things happen. i forgive you, even though you didn’t apologize.”
junhwe stays silent.
“and i want to know what’s going on that got you so wound up, dude.”
junhwe sighs.
jinhwan tries again. “you’re the only i feel comfortable with bossing around and being a dick to, bro. what’s up.”
junhwe’s cold, icy heart gets as close to being miserable as it dares. junhwe leans his head on jinhwan’s, and jinhwan’s small hand comes up to pet his hair.
“there there,” jinhwan says, comfortingly. “it’ll all be okay.”
-
tuesday is d-day. junhwe can’t wait to drop this assignment like it’s hot. pimp’s in the crib, etcetera. today his iPod drops some sick snoop dogg. junhwe does his best moonwalk into class, to find he’s the only one in the room. as is usually the case with this subject.
“hey,” he says to the empty classroom, before dropping his bag onto a desk and sitting down. he wishes astronomy had some more people in it. he’s got a plethora of stellar puns up his sleeve, and approximately no one to use them on.
“yo,” another kid says. he’s got a beanie pulled low over his bright pink hair. lee jihoon, junhwe thinks his name is. junhwe hasn’t handed in his assignment yet, so he’s not going to risk a reply. he just shrugs in what he hopes is a friendly manner.
“teacher still hasn’t come yet?” jihoon asks, and junhwe shrugs again, this time shaking his head at the same time. hopefully his aura implies no sufficiently.
they wait in silence; junhwe flips through his paper again, skimming the content mindlessly.
“hello,” donghyuk says, looking unusually shy. “are we just three?”
junhwe looks up in shock.
“apart from the teacher, i mean,” donghyuk adds. “of course.”
“of course,” jihoon repeats politely. “yes, three.”
junhwe watches donghyuk take the desk next to his own, mouth probably open enough to receive unsuspecting flying insects.
“well,” donghyuk says, sitting down. “here we are.” he takes his file out and puts it on the table. the title is very neat, spelling out SURFACE FEATURES OF THE MOON .
junhwe doesn’t trust himself to speak, then remembers he’s not supposed to anyway.
jihoon takes it upon himself to do all the talking. “since when did you join?” he asks, very curious.
“when i joined the school, y’know. i was behind on everything, so i take my extra cred lessons separately.”
it’s how he managed to get on the roof, junhwe realizes. he’s an astronomy student, too. he has the passkey.
“it’s how i managed to get on the roof before you,” donghyuk whispers into junhwe’s ear. it takes a lot of self control not to scream.
it’s not like junhwe had ever made an effort to conceal himself, so donghyuk had known all along.
junhwe starts chewing the inside of his cheek to keep from spontaneously combusting.
-
“hello class,” their teacher says. “i trust we have all finished our projects?"
choi jinyoung, twenty eight, with a masters in planetary geology, has a habit of saying ‘we’ instead of ‘you’, as if including himself among the students contributed to an air of camaraderie or lessened the average load of work per student. it doesn’t. if it did, junhwe wouldn’t have had to suffer the way he did for this class.
choi jinyoung, well meaning and portly, also has a habit of going into motivational speeches after the entire assignment is over. while he’s talking about the importance of knowledge of the universe, donghyuk leans in again, “you wanna come up on the roof again?”
junhwe, fiddling with his pencil, freezes.
“i promise i’ll be good,” donghyuk bumps their elbows, "it can be a date." then he leans back into his chair, and junhwe is resolutely not looking at him but he has an overwhelming feeling that donghyuk is wearing an expression of extreme self-satisfaction.
screw him! a voice says angrily inside junhwe's head, and then wait no, not like tha-
-
junhwe takes a deep breath before opening the door to the roof.
“well,” donghyuk says, moon shining over his eyelashes in a way that makes junhwe want to prance like a pony, “hello .”
fin.
#1 oh man. this was going to be like i dunno. better. but then i rushed this over in 3 days??? and posted it LATE?? ARE EYE PEE TO THE GIRL I USED TO BE
#2 the third working title was ‘poopeo and peeliette’ but let’s not go there TBQ F H.
#3 check out moon insoo his stuff is interesting
#4 project titles from here, may junhwe rest in pieces lil kid he rly went through a lot
#5 apt is a real horror movie and i liked it when i was 16 but it’s been a while so idk about now so that’s like a tentative rec, tw for harrassment
#6 I COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT SPRINT BUDDIES. SHOUT OUT 2 TIDDLES SHII TEA AND HYEMI