New Leaf?
I feel so dissatisfied with my college life these days. The year is going well, I have friends, do well in classes, and I'm generally not stressed out, but I'm still not happy. I feel like I'm in a constant state of unfulfillment. I'm just an unmotivated person. I have lots of things I want to do and good reasons to do them, but I always put things off. I never study Japanese or Greek every day like I should, I still have pictures of Japan sitting in their package from two years ago, and I haven't e-mailed some people in four months. It's the story of my life. I just can't sit down and do what I should be doing. I'm afraid that I'll just be in a frustrated state of starting things and not finishing them for the rest of my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm forcing myself to be someone I'm not, that I'm a planner and not a doer, but at this point in my life I must learn to be both. I guess for now I just have to try to do my best to be the kind of person I want to be. I think transferring will help. NCC is fun, but it feels all wrong to me. I really want to be at an art school, where maybe I can finally feel satisfied. I need to stop putting things off, I need to go through with my goals, and I need to start now.