(no subject)
This is by far the hardest time I have ever dealt with. Meaning keeping up appearances as if everything is okay is something I have never done. Waking up every day, wondering how I am going to get rent, wondering how I am going to pay for gas, even wondering how I am going to put food in my stomach. All while trying to make a new venture work in an extremely competitive market filled with so many talented people, more talented then I. Everyday I want to throw in the towel and call it quits yet the truth keeps me on the path. For I will always find myself in the same spot..... and in even worse company.
Today was mothers day, I couldn't buy flowers for my mom, so I grabbed some from a neighbors garden. Damn Korean pride, it makes us strong but at the same time can induce overwhelming amounts of pain. I used to hear stories of hardworking Americans, working their fingers to the bones to do what they love, living on the line of poverty and how they finally made it. My parents were one of those stories. I use to idolize people like that, glorified it. Now I am living it but I wouldn't wish it on a dead broke dog. They never spoke of the uncertainty, the fear, the stress, the hunger. Then again, I wouldn't either. I don't. Not to anyone except this anonymous shadow journal that doesn't exist.
Today was mothers day, I couldn't buy flowers for my mom, so I grabbed some from a neighbors garden. Damn Korean pride, it makes us strong but at the same time can induce overwhelming amounts of pain. I used to hear stories of hardworking Americans, working their fingers to the bones to do what they love, living on the line of poverty and how they finally made it. My parents were one of those stories. I use to idolize people like that, glorified it. Now I am living it but I wouldn't wish it on a dead broke dog. They never spoke of the uncertainty, the fear, the stress, the hunger. Then again, I wouldn't either. I don't. Not to anyone except this anonymous shadow journal that doesn't exist.