(no subject)
Thank youuuu courtney. and whatever its a phone call i dont care. im realizing that this is all just getting old to me and im sure to others. i just need to buck up and get over it..
i understand that everybody is worth a great deal and that they deserve to be treated GREAT constantly. i understand that, bah its just hard when you care. wow-thats ridiculous. you should never lower yourself. and for some reason i guess i tend to do that a little bit. i was talking to my mom about it, and i was like really? its been months so why do i still get hurt over the things he does and just over him?
and my mom made it really clear to me.. we never really broke up so i havent realllllyyy had the chance to completely get over him. up until a month ago, he was still saying he cared for me and that he was going to prove he wanted to still be something with me. so ive only really had a month. i get it now. and the little fucker-even last night. We talked and decided that it was fine to be civil and friends and whatever but i would call him when i wanted to talk. so anyways he was like, " you still thinking of going out to california next year?"
YES! i tour in two weeks.
then he went on to say that that was weird for him but good for me. weird for him in that he is losing a friend, a different kind of friend. i said that we wouldnt get back together and he said that we would. welp? im not waiting around sweetheart. if we were going to be together it would be now. and i said that too which is good. HEY this is pointless but at least i can look back and remember that conversation ha. so basically i call him when im ready whichhhhh means i wont talk to him until his graduation ha.
when he leaves me alone im fine. and im excited to nottttt have that door open at all. im glad that its up to me and that he wont call. ill be fine. it just reassures me even more what i dont want in a guy.
my dad said it really perfect the other day... its just not fair when someone breaks your heart because they steal a part of you away that you wont get back. they steal the trust that should be going into the next person. ill always be that much more skeptical of the next man around but whatever i guess. thats life, just not too fair.
im fine. i always have to reassure the world that im okay. im okay. hes a BOYYYY not even a man. im better of:)
i understand that everybody is worth a great deal and that they deserve to be treated GREAT constantly. i understand that, bah its just hard when you care. wow-thats ridiculous. you should never lower yourself. and for some reason i guess i tend to do that a little bit. i was talking to my mom about it, and i was like really? its been months so why do i still get hurt over the things he does and just over him?
and my mom made it really clear to me.. we never really broke up so i havent realllllyyy had the chance to completely get over him. up until a month ago, he was still saying he cared for me and that he was going to prove he wanted to still be something with me. so ive only really had a month. i get it now. and the little fucker-even last night. We talked and decided that it was fine to be civil and friends and whatever but i would call him when i wanted to talk. so anyways he was like, " you still thinking of going out to california next year?"
YES! i tour in two weeks.
then he went on to say that that was weird for him but good for me. weird for him in that he is losing a friend, a different kind of friend. i said that we wouldnt get back together and he said that we would. welp? im not waiting around sweetheart. if we were going to be together it would be now. and i said that too which is good. HEY this is pointless but at least i can look back and remember that conversation ha. so basically i call him when im ready whichhhhh means i wont talk to him until his graduation ha.
when he leaves me alone im fine. and im excited to nottttt have that door open at all. im glad that its up to me and that he wont call. ill be fine. it just reassures me even more what i dont want in a guy.
my dad said it really perfect the other day... its just not fair when someone breaks your heart because they steal a part of you away that you wont get back. they steal the trust that should be going into the next person. ill always be that much more skeptical of the next man around but whatever i guess. thats life, just not too fair.
im fine. i always have to reassure the world that im okay. im okay. hes a BOYYYY not even a man. im better of:)