i just dont know.
its weird how one night you can feel like its the end of the world and then the next day.. you feel alright. i think i needed to get all of those feelings out and im glad i did. im glad i wrote them out so i wont forget them. i just need to remember-this is what he does to me. why would i want that in my life or around me? i feel like my head has cleared. im doing better:) and i just feel more optimistic for the things to come. its good to hit rock bottom every now and then- to give in to your emotions and just let them take over for a while. i feel better thank god.
court- i tell you every time so you knowwww how excited i am. i just cant wait. and its going to be everything we have always wanted. remember biola and our plans to decorate our dorm together? well that didnt work out but i feel like this is always what we have wanteddddd.. to live together and just explore and be around all new! i honestly cant wait at alllll at all. i look at it as being such a huge opportunity for me to be happy and doing the things that i want to do. if i didnt come i would always regret it- i know it. i would always wonder. and if i hate my life( yeah right..) then i can always come back. you just gatta live for yourself and live now and thats what we will do! im beyond excited for this new opportunity. looking at it as a escape is a positive thing to me. i get to expand my horizons and see new things and meet new people. i get to be in the sun and just a drive away from the beach. i get to live away from the stress of my parents and any other stresses that come with living so close to home. i just get to start fresh. I CANT WAIT:]. im not doing this for the wrong reasons, but for all the right reasons. its going to be so good for me. thank you for all your encouragement and help. you are such a beautiful person and im so ready to just be there and be around you and LIVE fuckkk yes god.
i love ya girl. we have so much to look forward too:)
court- i tell you every time so you knowwww how excited i am. i just cant wait. and its going to be everything we have always wanted. remember biola and our plans to decorate our dorm together? well that didnt work out but i feel like this is always what we have wanteddddd.. to live together and just explore and be around all new! i honestly cant wait at alllll at all. i look at it as being such a huge opportunity for me to be happy and doing the things that i want to do. if i didnt come i would always regret it- i know it. i would always wonder. and if i hate my life( yeah right..) then i can always come back. you just gatta live for yourself and live now and thats what we will do! im beyond excited for this new opportunity. looking at it as a escape is a positive thing to me. i get to expand my horizons and see new things and meet new people. i get to be in the sun and just a drive away from the beach. i get to live away from the stress of my parents and any other stresses that come with living so close to home. i just get to start fresh. I CANT WAIT:]. im not doing this for the wrong reasons, but for all the right reasons. its going to be so good for me. thank you for all your encouragement and help. you are such a beautiful person and im so ready to just be there and be around you and LIVE fuckkk yes god.
i love ya girl. we have so much to look forward too:)