i wish you would read this

[chrsvance]

the past couple of days have been the worst i have yet to experience
and i regret every little thing i did
and i wish it never happened
it feels like they are pulling away from me which i can understand
but it hurts sooo much
she gave me a hug
which made me smile alot
but besides that the only thing they said to me today was bye
it bothers me that i can fuck things up like this
and i hate how you say it is your fault when it is obviously mine
i dont think that i can handle another day like today again
it made me sick ..... i have the most huge headache and ive been sleeping ever since i have gotten home
everything feels like a nightmare
this isnt how i expected senior year to be
i never though id lose the people i love
and i dont know if our relationship can ever be as strong as it once was
i am just feeling lonely
and i miss you guys
and i love you guys
more then anything
i even plan to stop drinking
i tried some in my coffee
and all i could do was cry
my mom thinks that for some reason im going to end my life
she is worried
and i am worried too

i just love you guys soo much
and i wish you could see that
but i dont even know if you plan on reading this
but
goddamnit
here i go again....