Stick It To The Man
Borders recently sent me an email notice that if I registered with them now for the seventh Harry Potter book, I would be graciously allowed to have a sticker declaring my opinion about a certain potions master with a button fetish. Stickers are all very squeeful, but I don't know where I'm likely to be in July for the book release. So it's a little pointless to commit to a location just for the sake of a sticker.
And then I said to myself, "Self! How is it that book seven is all about SNAPE? His name, last time I checked, was not in the title. When you get right down to it, o Self, Snape is turning into a scene-stealing, melodramatic diva of the highest order. Aren't there other Slytherins whose fates we are equally concerned about? Why should they not have stickers predicting what will happen to them in this final book? Eh?! Interrobang it, this must be remedied at once."
And so I bestow upon you, the internet:
The Deathly Hallows Prediction Stickers for Those Other Slytherins
[ which here are a little more PG-13 than Borders' stickers ]
Draco is screwed either way [3 MB]
Lucius still has better hair than you [2.2 MB]
Millicent is giving it all up for a career in Mexican wrestling [3 MB]
Slughorn is in an undisclosed location [2.6 MB]
Blaise does not care about your damned war [3.3 MB]
Regulus mocks you from beyond the grave [3.2 MB]
Bellatrix will mess your shiznit up [2.8 MB]
Pansy will finally get the character development she deserves [2.6 MB]
multipack of all eight [2.9 MB]
. . .
Snape is one sexy mofo [2.9 MB]
Download the pdf file for the Slytherin of your choosing and print on letter-sized ink jet sticker paper, availiable at your local office supply store or craft store. Spray with glossy artist's fixative to prevent smudging and allow to dry. Nearly invisible dotted lines provide ease of cutting. Individual stickers measure 4" x 2.5". A quantity of of eight per page. Proclaim your expectations from book seven in sticker form!
A HELPFUL PUBLIC SERVICE
from strange hours creations
Edit: I've added a few more Slytherins: Regulus, Bellatrix, and Pansy, along with a sheet that collects all eight options. It can be so tough to choose. And because electricwitch has sensibly pointed out that the Borders stickers do not cover all opinions regarding Snape, one Snape sticker. I guess it really is all about him. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Severus, Severus, Severus!
P.S. Hellllooooo to the daily_snitch peoples. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: All vector pushing done by myself, February 2007. Quelle horreur.
With apologies: All previously mentioned characters belong to J. K. Rowling, Scholastic Books & Warner Bros., although their predicted fates at this point in time do not. The original sticker presumably belongs to Borders Books, which I parody oh-so-lovingly. For entertainment purposes only, no copyright infringement intended. There is no possible way I could be making money from this. Really.