(no subject)
The inherent issue of Christy:
I am a horrible grad student, because I honestly don't give a shit. I don't want to do the reading, because I've never really needed to do so before. In no way to sound proud, arrogant, or conceited: school has always been easy for me, because I am good at absorbing what I hear/see in class. Recently, in my bio-anthro class, we were given 2 weeks to work on a take-home exam. I cranked that shit out in the night before and the day it was due before class, then ended up taking the option to turn it in later and revise it a bit. I revised approximately 4 paragraphs, said SCREW IT, and turned it in. Today I got the grade: A-. I saw some of my classmate's papers, or heard the prof talking to them, people I all know spent a great deal more time on it than I did, and their grades? Low to mid Bs. I don't understand. I don't do the reading in this class, like, ever. I am not interested in the subject matter, and it ultimately doesn't matter much because the prof talks so much in class that I never have to contribute. In fact, I am writing this in class right at this moment. I am somehow just good at cranking stuff out with a low amount of effort, and it's always good enough to get me by, usually with a good grade. That's how it's always been.
But I have come to learn that my inherent skill in fast-paced processing of info/bull-shit paper writing is of very little value in grad school. I cannot do 20-page research papers the last couple days before they're due, but I keep wanting and trying to. I don't know any other way to work. I try to do things early, and my brain just screams and cries and refuses to focus. I am living in fear of writing my essays, and time til the end of the semester is quickly running out. I can't even fathom writing a thesis. I just don't know how to put in the proper amount of effort.
(Aaaagh, this class! Everything we're talking about tonight is technically anthro, but is so close to psychology there's basically no difference. I am just not interested in the slightest about the nature of altruism and ultimatum games. I just want to learn about people from the past who did cool things and made pretty stuff, but apparently that's not what grad school is about. I totally should have skipped class tonight like I wanted to.)
I'm so bored.
And hungry.
This is turning into a long, rambling post about nothing. I hope you're not still reading.
I am a horrible grad student, because I honestly don't give a shit. I don't want to do the reading, because I've never really needed to do so before. In no way to sound proud, arrogant, or conceited: school has always been easy for me, because I am good at absorbing what I hear/see in class. Recently, in my bio-anthro class, we were given 2 weeks to work on a take-home exam. I cranked that shit out in the night before and the day it was due before class, then ended up taking the option to turn it in later and revise it a bit. I revised approximately 4 paragraphs, said SCREW IT, and turned it in. Today I got the grade: A-. I saw some of my classmate's papers, or heard the prof talking to them, people I all know spent a great deal more time on it than I did, and their grades? Low to mid Bs. I don't understand. I don't do the reading in this class, like, ever. I am not interested in the subject matter, and it ultimately doesn't matter much because the prof talks so much in class that I never have to contribute. In fact, I am writing this in class right at this moment. I am somehow just good at cranking stuff out with a low amount of effort, and it's always good enough to get me by, usually with a good grade. That's how it's always been.
But I have come to learn that my inherent skill in fast-paced processing of info/bull-shit paper writing is of very little value in grad school. I cannot do 20-page research papers the last couple days before they're due, but I keep wanting and trying to. I don't know any other way to work. I try to do things early, and my brain just screams and cries and refuses to focus. I am living in fear of writing my essays, and time til the end of the semester is quickly running out. I can't even fathom writing a thesis. I just don't know how to put in the proper amount of effort.
(Aaaagh, this class! Everything we're talking about tonight is technically anthro, but is so close to psychology there's basically no difference. I am just not interested in the slightest about the nature of altruism and ultimatum games. I just want to learn about people from the past who did cool things and made pretty stuff, but apparently that's not what grad school is about. I totally should have skipped class tonight like I wanted to.)
I'm so bored.
And hungry.
This is turning into a long, rambling post about nothing. I hope you're not still reading.