I hear a birdie singing!!
So I was reading some old lj posts....cuz i want to put this on my facebook and use only one blog and some posts i really just want to delete, but i should keep them to remember incase i need some reminds on how miserable i can make my life if i choose.....so im like privatizing them lol.
however, this is my favourite quote of summer 2006: *but i made it a quarter of the way to first base which is alot better than staying home!!*
LOL
That comment amuses me...on so many levels.
I was reading some old posts from the begining of 06 to the end of the summer...and uh...wow. I lied to myself alot. I was reading some posts and i was like...ok that is NOT true you did NOT feel that way but you pretended to cuz you thought you should feel that way or you thought...whatever. lol. I was pretty damn...messed for awhile. Actually maybe I was just being a normal person for once. Regardless, Im glad in the case of most of last year that i was incredibly self protective cuz i sure needed to be lol. Amazingly enough there was one post in particular that I was able to read and smile a bit...but then i frowned at my stupidity for not leaving it where it should have been. (no im not talking about you :p) But knowing me and my need to KNOW i have to KNOW for sure whats going on before I can reach a real conclusion ( HENCE why i still feel miserable about one particular situation).
Its kind of nice to know that aside from the fact that im still sometimes full of crap and have my moments where im sure ive reached a conclusion on something or I know why certain things have happened....I have changed quite a bit. I have learned....quite a bit.....for the better. Mushrooms have to get covered in crap before they can grow properly. And sometimes God can use the most unexpected things to teach you things. Despite the sadness and confusion i have felt in the past little while, i wouldnt erase the past 7 months at all. I learned ALOT of things that I really needed to learn. Mostly about myself , that having expectations arent always a bad thing, in some cases they SHOULD exist and I should demand better for myself cuz clearly it IS possible to have better than ive settled for in the past. As well as the fact that I had alot more fun than ive had in years lol.
I have also realized that i need to be careful when I write and not be SO cryptic cuz i can SO give off the VERY wrong impression...haha. :/
Its almost May so why am i writing something that sounds like it should be written in January? Cuz I didnt have time for it then lol. ahhhh yes introspection. Good times.
my butt hurts from going a little too far in yoga yesterday. hahah. oh well..its ok i need to start that up again. Summer is almost here folks. I intend to have fun this summer. My goals for the summer are as follows
-jump off a bridge
-skinny dip at night in a VERY secluded area
-walk ALOT
-have a mojito
-go camping at least once
-attend at least one bbq
-avoid problematic males
-wear skirts and attempt to get my legs to not be snow white
i intend to accomplish all goals. The legs probably wont turn a differnt colour though. They have been this colour for years. except the one time they got sunburned and they hurt really bad. lol.
oh oh and i want to learn 99 red balloons in german too. add that on
however, this is my favourite quote of summer 2006: *but i made it a quarter of the way to first base which is alot better than staying home!!*
LOL
That comment amuses me...on so many levels.
I was reading some old posts from the begining of 06 to the end of the summer...and uh...wow. I lied to myself alot. I was reading some posts and i was like...ok that is NOT true you did NOT feel that way but you pretended to cuz you thought you should feel that way or you thought...whatever. lol. I was pretty damn...messed for awhile. Actually maybe I was just being a normal person for once. Regardless, Im glad in the case of most of last year that i was incredibly self protective cuz i sure needed to be lol. Amazingly enough there was one post in particular that I was able to read and smile a bit...but then i frowned at my stupidity for not leaving it where it should have been. (no im not talking about you :p) But knowing me and my need to KNOW i have to KNOW for sure whats going on before I can reach a real conclusion ( HENCE why i still feel miserable about one particular situation).
Its kind of nice to know that aside from the fact that im still sometimes full of crap and have my moments where im sure ive reached a conclusion on something or I know why certain things have happened....I have changed quite a bit. I have learned....quite a bit.....for the better. Mushrooms have to get covered in crap before they can grow properly. And sometimes God can use the most unexpected things to teach you things. Despite the sadness and confusion i have felt in the past little while, i wouldnt erase the past 7 months at all. I learned ALOT of things that I really needed to learn. Mostly about myself , that having expectations arent always a bad thing, in some cases they SHOULD exist and I should demand better for myself cuz clearly it IS possible to have better than ive settled for in the past. As well as the fact that I had alot more fun than ive had in years lol.
I have also realized that i need to be careful when I write and not be SO cryptic cuz i can SO give off the VERY wrong impression...haha. :/
Its almost May so why am i writing something that sounds like it should be written in January? Cuz I didnt have time for it then lol. ahhhh yes introspection. Good times.
my butt hurts from going a little too far in yoga yesterday. hahah. oh well..its ok i need to start that up again. Summer is almost here folks. I intend to have fun this summer. My goals for the summer are as follows
-jump off a bridge
-skinny dip at night in a VERY secluded area
-walk ALOT
-have a mojito
-go camping at least once
-attend at least one bbq
-avoid problematic males
-wear skirts and attempt to get my legs to not be snow white
i intend to accomplish all goals. The legs probably wont turn a differnt colour though. They have been this colour for years. except the one time they got sunburned and they hurt really bad. lol.
oh oh and i want to learn 99 red balloons in german too. add that on