When God doesn't make sense

[desolateangel83]

I just mentioned to lifeflowson that lately my faith has been slipping. It started with another anxiety relapse this weekend. I read the scriptures over and over again, and I hummed "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" every chance I could. Nothing could take the worry away. Then I got to thinking about these past seven years of being a Christian. "Was it all

Comments

[catholic_heart]

Oh, I know. I had tried many times before then, always in vain. It's hard, I know, but hang in there! Getting through the first month will be the hardest (I'm saying this as someone who had once quit intentionally for a year and a half before going back, and then quitting again). After the first 30 days, then the real battle is those times when you convince yourself that you can smoke socially, once in a while. That will be your biggest battle after you make it through the grueling first 30 days.

There was a study done with mice that proved nicotine to be more addictive than heroine (this is anecdotal, someone told me about it, so I can't cite a reference for it, but it sounds right). Basically, there were 50 mice made to be addicted to nicotine, and 50 to heroine, and then the mice were placed in a sort of maze, where one path would lead them to food, the other to their particular drug. Out of the ones addicted to heroine, something like 35 died of starvation, because they chose drug over food every time. But 15 chose food when it was absolutely necessary, and thus lived. Out of the ones addicted to nicotine, all 50 died of starvation, choosing nicotine over food every time. So yeah, your battle is tough. But like I said, get through the first 30 days. Break that down into smaller and smaller increments. When the urge is really strong, focus on just getting through right now. Focus on making it through the next minute, the next 10 minutes, the next hour. Finally, if you do ever break down and have one, you have one choice only, which is to simply start over. It's one of those "Don't slip up, but if you do, don't slip up again," kind of deals. You can do it!!!

[lifeflowson]

Oi, yea one hour at a time seems to be my current state. Whats really ironic and/or stupid is that I hadn't smoked for like 3 years, then a year and a half ago started up again when I moved back home to where eeeveryone smoked, but I only smoked on the weekends and sometimes would go two weeks no smoke. THEN just 3 weeks ago my cousin came to visit and I smoked ALL THE TIME for three weeks...then she left, I stopped..but then started having one a night..then two a night...then decided to quit a few days ago. So its just ANNOYING that it grabbed me like that after not having grabbed me for YEARS. Soo lame!!

I don't want to talk about it anymore, all this talk of not smoking makes me want to smoke something fierce.