When God doesn't make sense
I just mentioned to lifeflowson that lately my faith has been slipping. It started with another anxiety relapse this weekend. I read the scriptures over and over again, and I hummed "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" every chance I could. Nothing could take the worry away. Then I got to thinking about these past seven years of being a Christian. "Was it all worth it?" Sure there have been some really joyful times, but there has been lots of pain too. Too many times I've felt guilty for every little thing I've done. If God knows we're not perfect, why did He give us so many rules? There has also been plenty of times when I felt so isolated and distant from everyone around me. Even though my non-Christian friends love me regardless of my beliefs, I still feel so disconnected with them.
I realized, "I can't do this anymore! I've had enough of all this stress."
So right now I'm not sure where to turn. My fiance and my friends have all written me long emails convincing me God loves me and will take care of me, but I don't know. It doesn't seem like He is.
Any thoughts? Advice?
I was wary of posting this at first because I don't want to make a big production out of this and be Mr. Poor-little-emo-boy again. But since I do see you all as my friends, I feel like I can talk to you about these kinds of things.
I realized, "I can't do this anymore! I've had enough of all this stress."
So right now I'm not sure where to turn. My fiance and my friends have all written me long emails convincing me God loves me and will take care of me, but I don't know. It doesn't seem like He is.
Any thoughts? Advice?
I was wary of posting this at first because I don't want to make a big production out of this and be Mr. Poor-little-emo-boy again. But since I do see you all as my friends, I feel like I can talk to you about these kinds of things.