Stuff. And hats.
o I blew my tooth apart. Impressive eh? I found what it was, & then promptly lost it again. A metal burr from a grinding machine in the mince I used in a casserole.
I get the second stage of repairs done end of next week; but the tooth is, well, I expect to eventually lose it now.
And yes it does hurt. The damage is bad.
Add to that leg pain and I am pretty crackered at present. I am having to rest a hell of a lot.
So... Munny.
I have done ze math etc and basically I get £20 for food ( which is enough ) and about £5 left each week. That's the balance.
With no Taxi Parachute thing you'll need a crowbar to get me out of Selsdon ( I can just about walk 60m on a good day at present ), so getting to work is NOT going to be easy. CVA is do-able, but the Maudsley is looking pretty impossible. So my earnings are down before I even start. Not useful :/
Brommel? 2 buses, & over an hour, so not an option. As I said, I'm pinned to location at present. No support means no assistance, means no travel. Thankfully Selsdon Food is high quality, so I get to play at home a bit.
£5 a week? Home repairs.
Obviously I was able to finish the kitchen just before the money disappeared, so that is now fully functional and rocking.
Saw a lovely Carl McCoy hat. £200 bespoke, so that won't be happening any time soon ( eek! ). I'll stick with my Leather more-cowboy-than-preacher one I feel. Haven't worn it out yet, but there you go. I need a Kingfisher Feather for it. I'll have to sniff around for one.
So, stuck at barracks for 2 months with high levels of pain involved. It's an utter turd sandwich I assure you. SO. FUCKING. BORED! Still, it might be over soon-ish.
I was able to repair the Business Accounts. Now any self-employed money I get coming in is actually stuff I can use! No more debt after Project Bitcoin failed. It's a good feeling. I owe, like, £50 at present total. Not bad, and handy with my income disappearing so sharply.
Losing £50 a week is a big deal I have to say. It wipes out EVERYTHING. How do I get out the house now? My legs just won't co-operate.
The thing is I need guarantees. When you've been injured as many times as I have, and have been so powerless to defend yourself due to the actions ( corruption ) of others, there's only one way it can go mentally. You go mad ( obviously ) in an angry yet afraid way. Anxiety, plus that feeling of injustice.
Even with my advanced-stage Qaballah I just can't get past the limit on my travel caused by this much genuine real pain. Mind over matter isn't cutting it on this one. I need my disability support back.
If you know me down the pub you'll know I don't scare easy. That's how big a deal the current situation is. I am genuinely afraid, and that's rare for me.
Including the pluracy I have had 6 major injuries over my lifetime. Technically I should not be here. The fact I can still get so much done, with only basic support in place, is testimony to years of study & practice ( skill ) by me; but... I'm no superman. None of us injured are. It's just how it is.
So what now? 6 more weeks of this crap before I find out what the next stage is. Do I finally get some help, or do I have to take the DWP to Tribunal? Last time it had to be a Tribunal, as they simply ignored everything I said ( DLA days ). Hopefully, this time, they'll be a bit more sane ( although they have already pulled one dirty trick so far, so I have my doubts here ).
The problem is that I need certainty to cover the basics. If I know 'base-camp' is secure I can get quite a lot done. Base-camp is now no longer secure, so my legs have seized. My legs seizing has stuffed my ability to get out and about. And with no money for Taxi-parachute it's pretty much over for now.
Dating? No-one wants the cripple. That's why I am now looking at a more 'survival' style. The loneliness that sucked the life out of me for years is gone ( due to The Cats filling that gap ), and I am so adapted to a life without sex I just don't need it any more; but... Dating was fun, and who doesn't want fun? I dunno.
Mad Max & his dog? Or his monkey? Me and my Cats? Indeed. You need decent company in life.
If she's got the balls to take a chance on an injured man, and isn't ridiculous with her food, then it might work out ( as long as she's not some obese tub of ew obviously ); but my life has been so different the 'stuff in common' factor makes me a real Outlander now. Yes, fine, people may like Outlanders ( curiosity etc ); but... If I can't stand your way of life ( and let's face it, I hate consumerism and people who can't repair stuff ) then you won't get nadah out of me.
I can't travel much at present. If she travels a lot then that's another hurdle right there.
Barriers barriers. As you do.
I am surrounded by consumerists who can't repair their own kit. That's what Croydon is. Hence why there is nothing to connect to.
Bromley does appear to be smarter, fair does, but no leggy 'mech-lass' has wandered into my life just yet. What can I say?
Still, at least I'm not lonely. Time is on my side once again. So I'm just gonna try and relax and get through this latest turd sandwich.
And try and find a Kingfisher Feather for my hat, as it'll be rainy season soon.
As one does ;)