Triggered again...
ot her fault; but yes, I was triggered.
It's all a bit too close to home. She was from Croydon, we had loads in common, and... It felt like it was all connected. 'Come back chris' etc etc. Again, the angle felt like I was supposed to just let them off etc etc.
With work there are Boundaries ( no dating Service Users for example ), and I do like that. If I meet her in a club then it's different. This one I met at work, and she just kinda latched on. I didn't feel in-control enough.
I assure you she is innocent; but... I just can't hack it at present. I'm still too chewed up.
Croydon women have a habit of gossiping amongst themselves, getting it wrong, and then stomping all over you.
The agenda is always about them getting what they want, and they honestly think you don't have any emotional needs. This is reliable and consistent for this part of the map in my experience. These people are base Neanderthal ( and increasingly racist ).
It's my 'emotions' that assist me in healing those I work with, so they can't be that crap. It's not me on this one.
I'm not the only service user to have been targeted by someone trying to get into my home ( Social Housing, in a Housing shortage; you do the math ). Even the stoners are getting increasingly violent.
The women 'come up with a plan', the men obey, and I get trampled on again.
Is it any wonder, after 14 years of being stamped on, that I feel a touch broken? I can't remember a time when I actually had normal rights. Not since soton. I have never had Human Rights in Croydon.
So I hide behind brick walls, and lock out Croydon socially. It's the safest option when they are this relentless, stupid, violent, and unrepentant.
They just can't tell how violent they now are. Part of it is the Cocaine ( obviously ); but part of it is where the people have known nothing but gangs and lawlessness for so long they have, well, it seems like they are embracing it. I've said before that Croydon wants to be gangland, and this lot are no exception.
I can barely carry me. I can't carry someone else too. And these dumb shits just won't listen. So up the wall goes.
I'm not happy ( I like empowered people ), but when there is no justice system you can't stop the stupid ones from harming people. Even the violent ones have a habit of getting away with it.
It's why Croydon is a mess. All her internal 'systems' are compromised. Tony has one hell of a job ahead of him in fixing the damn thing.
Anyway, this is my social blog. Work is over there *points*. Socially I am resting as best I can. And hiding as best I can. These idiots just won't stop.
Hence why Croydon needs to go. I need a new start. Well, a new-ish start. My decision to jump to Brommel was correct.
Work and home are good. It's just a Social thing. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
Beware of crying women. Sometimes they are crying as they don't want to get caught.
I'm not scary. They were simply trying to trick you into forcing me to obey them. As they use loneliness as a weapon to harm me some more. So they harm me unless I obey, and they trick you into harming me to force me to obey them.
Why? My home. It's always been about getting access to my home.
A pretty common Hell's Angels theme. Southampton. That was about my home as well. But around here they learned it from the Harp Rock Bar.
In a town where the innocent vic is beaten up by the services some more you know that the gangsters have control. It's impossible for there to be insufficient evidence, and yet that is all you hear from the so-called law-keepers. As the place rages and burns. Right in front of us ( and the world ).
If you don't obey this local agenda then you are isolated and/or starved. The loneliness and pain do the rest. There is no real charity around here. My own family were not the only ones to roll with this.
The local agenda? Let the bad-guys off, and don't talk about the town's issues. Mohan's Folly, basically.
Talk about it and you're thrown into solitary again. Possibly with bread & water.
Please note: This is Socially, not work. Work remains professional enough.
It takes a special kinda stupid AND a special kinda crazy to kill a whole town AND kill the town you live in. They did it *shrugs*.
FFS don't socialise in Croydon. DO NOT GET INVOLVED.
I'm going back to bed.
Oh, and apparently I don't have Fibro. I have chronic pain. Right... I don't have all the ticky-boxes for Fibro so... Indeed.
Yes, I R confused.
Pain Clinic next. The pain is pretty sucky at present I assure you. Med free for 3 weeks now. So that I can be ready for the new one. Hopefully it won't be long now.