Moaney old man post.
ell, I am nearly 40 ;)
Just working out which way is up really. After 14 years of having my life and health wrecked by the local animals ( of which there are a lot ) I'm working out what is still operational, and what has been destroyed.
Assessing after the fight, etc.
- My health is trashed, so I won't be on the big money any time soon. The current Govt are attempting to bury me in debt any way they can as well, so...
- My home is lovely, but co-habiting is impossible ( due to more Govt decisions ).
- PTSD is still there. I can feel my jumpiness still being there. That hasn't passed yet. Dating is still a bad plan it would appear.
- The bad-guys are still wandering free. Not dipshit Scott, I mean the girl-gang and all those dodgy managers. That DOES knock your confidence in a place when the bad-guys can operate so freely. Croydon-at-Night is clearly a VERY dangerous place.
- Women make zero sense. It must be how big the consumer agenda is these days. I know I said I need a dose of 'young' to get me back up to speed, but 'young' these days is drowning in your own vanity whilst thinking you're worth way more than you actually are ( Gen Y stuff ). Exceptions are rare. I need a dose of 'young' from back in my day ( Gen X stuff ). Riot Grrls etc. Those gals just don't exist in sufficient numbers any more. Someone stamped them out. 'Stuff in common' is so rare now.
- There's no such thing as a single woman anyway. In London there are 150 men for every 100 women; said women seem to be more and more consumerist ( which I hate obviously ); and... All the decent ones are married off when you get to my age. 14 years of being injured, whilst being beaten by the local scum as they stole what they could, has wrecked that. That boat has DEFINITELY been missed.
- I can't afford to relocate. I have little cash, and am now VERY reliant on this flat. Thankfully she's a good'un, but even so. There's no way out. The sodding Govt saw to that etc.
That's NOT a good place to be. So where are my positives?
- I still have decent dudds and great music. If I do meet a filly I still stand *some* chance ( although the odds are hugely stacked against me now, due to this extremist right-wing bollocks that is so popular these days ). My self-esteem seems ok.
- My tech skills are strong. They are in a good place. I can repair A LOT of shiznit.
- My medical skills are strong, and work is coming in there. It's not big money, but I am also not feeling squeezed by debt. So far so good.
- My home is lovely. If I do meet a filly she could hang out over the weekend without me getting into trouble. There's some hope there.
- T' Fuzzy-bottoms are great.
- Croydon food is still amaze-balls ( Squid Chow-mein tonight, and it was yummy ).
- This evil Neo-Nazi Govt might well be gone by Mid-May. That could well be the gateway to my life improving considerably ( once people stop beating up The Poor, and instead Tax The Rich ).
It's so-so I'd say. A huge chunk has been destroyed ( forever ) for real ( you can't wind the clock back ), and I will never get compo now ( The Govt took that away as well ), but...
It's not an Ian Curtis situation just yet either.
Nyah, this country is dead in the water. Thatcherism destroyed it ( personal stuff, not work stuff ). What I needed to survive was simply taken away, as a bunch of Rich people did not want to pay Tax. The pain has been horrendous ( devastating both physically and mentally ). I do hope said Rich people are jailed for this wilful neglect. SO many are injured or dead because of what they have done. You can't just ignore that. Not when it is this extreme.
But the UK Justice System is hugely damaged now ( corruption as well as incompetence ), so I have a feeling said Rich People will just be let off again.
Mentally there isn't much to believe in is there?