(no subject)
Dear loved ones
Work is starting to pick up for me. I do more things, meet more people, have more conversations and turn more heads. :P
From here on, i think it'll be uphill. I still make mistakes though, and sometimes i find it hard to let go. I play it again and again in my head in an attempt to rationalize what i did. Coming up with reasons and excuses and telling myself its not my fault just doesn't seem to help. Maybe it isn't really about whether its my fault or not. It feels all the same anyway. Perhaps i'm just slightly disappointed that it happened. Sometimes its makes me feel vulnerable. I can see how easy it is for people to take advantage of me. People tell me that i should harden up, and its important for my future and stuff like that. I agree. Tried it. Didn't like myself. Then stopped. Maybe success and the future come in second to my feelings? I dunno. All i do know is that its midnight now and i'm just typing in the dark. Watching a horror movie half and hour ago really didn't do me any favours. Talk about being vulnerable. But i think too much. Time to give my brain a break.
Much Love
Chris
Work is starting to pick up for me. I do more things, meet more people, have more conversations and turn more heads. :P
From here on, i think it'll be uphill. I still make mistakes though, and sometimes i find it hard to let go. I play it again and again in my head in an attempt to rationalize what i did. Coming up with reasons and excuses and telling myself its not my fault just doesn't seem to help. Maybe it isn't really about whether its my fault or not. It feels all the same anyway. Perhaps i'm just slightly disappointed that it happened. Sometimes its makes me feel vulnerable. I can see how easy it is for people to take advantage of me. People tell me that i should harden up, and its important for my future and stuff like that. I agree. Tried it. Didn't like myself. Then stopped. Maybe success and the future come in second to my feelings? I dunno. All i do know is that its midnight now and i'm just typing in the dark. Watching a horror movie half and hour ago really didn't do me any favours. Talk about being vulnerable. But i think too much. Time to give my brain a break.
Much Love
Chris