Jury Duty and Metroid Fusion
The reason why Annie and I aren't spending my spring break in MN is because I had jury duty (turns out that they thought I skipped it way back when) on Monday. I was to show up at 9:30 AM. So I did. Because Annie recently acquired a Gameboy Advance and Metroid Fusion, I brought it with for entertainment during the obvious many hours of waiting.
I got there at 9:10, and started playing Metroid Fusion.
At 10AM, we started signing in. At 10:45 or so, the lady organizing the thing says, "the next 45 people whose names I call, follow me, the rest of you, take an early lunch, and be back here by 1:30 this afternoon". So she calls some names, I'm not on it, and they leave. So I grab some lunch across the street, and continue playing Metroid Fusion.
At 2, the lady starts to sign in all the new people who weren't there in the morning. At 3, she calls everyone's names to confirm that they are there, and should be following her, so we were off to the Jury selection room, which is the same as a courtroom, with 6 extra chairs.
random.shuffle(remaining_jurors)
jury_box = {}
jury_slots = range(1,19)
while len(remaining_jurors) > 0:
new_list = []
while len(remaining_jurors) > 0 and len(jury_box) < 18:
new_list.append(jury_slots.pop(0))
jury_box[new_list[-1]] = remaining_jurors.pop()
next = 13
while len(new_list):
juror_number = new_list.pop(0)
if gather_information(jury_box[juror_number]) is not_acceptable:
if next not in jury_box or juror_number > 12:
del jury_box[juror_number]
jury_slots.append(juror_number)
else:
jury_box[juror_number] = jury_box[next]
new_list.remove(next)
jury_slots.append(next)
next += 1
new_list.insert(0, juror_number)
#prosecuting attorney says some stuff and asks
#various questions that are supposed to gauge
#our sense of morality
#defense attorney does the same thing, but from
#a different angle
#both ask 2-3 people an 'insightful' question,
#each lawyer asking at least 2-3 questions.
#if some people have answers that they would
#rather keep private, but that may divulge
#some sort of bias, they can go into chambers
#to discuss this possible bias privately,
#usually resulting in the juror being excused
while len(jury_box) > 11 and\
len(jury_box)+len(remaining_jurors) > 13:
#alternate between the prosecuting attorney
#and the defense attorney, choosing jurors
#to be removed, using the next from 13...18
#replacement strategy, as basically described
#in the previous while loop
Please note that all prospective jurors are sitting in the court room.
Now, many of you will note how long and involved it is to understand. Or really, how many lines of code it takes to describe. Yeah, I know. The process was a pain in the ass. Sure, it is algorithmically (and likely mathematically) elegant, but damn is it a pain in the ass.
I was called in during the first round. I was #13. Juror #3 was excused, and I took his place.
By the time I was excused/removed/whatever, Juror #2 and I were the only ones from the initial selection process still there. There had been 4 or 5 rounds. Oh, while people were in chambers talking with the judge (usually no more than 3-4 minutes), I'd be playing Metroid Fusion. The 'sleep' feature is awesome.
In the round just before I was dismissed, the guy to my left was dismissed, and a stupid bitch replaced him. She was now Juror #4. When being asked questions, she had gone on about some really stupid thing and just wouldn't shut up. When the first guy was called into chambers...
(I'm playing Metroid Fusion)
#4: I don't think you're supposed to do that.
Me: I think if it was a big deal the bailiff would tell me so
#4: God I could use a smoke...how long do they normally take in chambers? (she had been there as long as the rest of us, one would figure that she would have paid attention)
#5: (to #4) Why did you go on about that needlessly? (referring to her answers to questions)
#4: I didn't wan't to lie about what I thought, I mean, I don't have any reason to lie about anything, and hey, they pay like $17/day, and I'm unemployed right now, so that works.
Me: Yeah, but it'd get you out of here pretty quick
#4: I don't lie because, it's like, karma. Aren't you worried about karma?
Me: I rescue snails from sidewalks, my karma is fine.
(#4 stands up to leave, just as the Judge comes back from chambers)
#4: Can I use the bathroom for a second?
Judge: Sure.
(#4 leaves the courtroom)
(Judge and one potential juror leave the courtroom to discuss something)
(2 minutes later the judge comes back)
Judge: Where...oh yeah, bathroom. Hey (bailiff's name)...
Bailiff: There are some places even I can't go.
(Judge gets up and walks out of the courtroom to get #4)
(Judge comes back in, speaks with the two attorneys, likely about the fact that #4 lied about going to the bathroom, and nods to the bailiff)
Judge: Ms. (juror's name), would you please sit next to Mr. Carlson?
(She moves to sit to my left)
(the old #4 starts to come in, but the bailiff catches her and hands her the "thank you for playing, you don't get to be on a jury" card)
The question on my mind is whether that was a clever ploy, or whether she really was that stupid. My money is on stupid.
Anyways, when it was all said and done, I had 3 hours of play time into Fusion (my first time playing it), and was just arriving back to the ship for the quick "hey, these animals hopped on the ship" message. Later that night I played for another 10 minutes and got to the whole "run from SA-X" part. Fuck me. I tried it like 10 times, but I couldn't do it right. I read walkthroughs, speed running guides, etc., and none had any suggestions to help me deal with it.
Yeah, no shit, shoot SA-X with an ice missile. Run through the door, drop a super bomb quick, shoot SA-X with another ice missile. Run through the door, hold L while shooting and jumping and climbing to get through the doors, hide.
What is so difficult about that? Oh, I don't know, the fact that SA-X can kill you by touching or shooting you 3 times. The fact that it unfreezes in about 1.5 seconds. The fact that it's a jumping puzzle with the most deadly enemy looking to kill you during the chase, and you can't even harm it (just freeze it). I'm not sure I'm even going to finish the game with that asshole stopping me. I suppose we'll see.
I got there at 9:10, and started playing Metroid Fusion.
At 10AM, we started signing in. At 10:45 or so, the lady organizing the thing says, "the next 45 people whose names I call, follow me, the rest of you, take an early lunch, and be back here by 1:30 this afternoon". So she calls some names, I'm not on it, and they leave. So I grab some lunch across the street, and continue playing Metroid Fusion.
At 2, the lady starts to sign in all the new people who weren't there in the morning. At 3, she calls everyone's names to confirm that they are there, and should be following her, so we were off to the Jury selection room, which is the same as a courtroom, with 6 extra chairs.
random.shuffle(remaining_jurors)
jury_box = {}
jury_slots = range(1,19)
while len(remaining_jurors) > 0:
new_list = []
while len(remaining_jurors) > 0 and len(jury_box) < 18:
new_list.append(jury_slots.pop(0))
jury_box[new_list[-1]] = remaining_jurors.pop()
next = 13
while len(new_list):
juror_number = new_list.pop(0)
if gather_information(jury_box[juror_number]) is not_acceptable:
if next not in jury_box or juror_number > 12:
del jury_box[juror_number]
jury_slots.append(juror_number)
else:
jury_box[juror_number] = jury_box[next]
new_list.remove(next)
jury_slots.append(next)
next += 1
new_list.insert(0, juror_number)
#prosecuting attorney says some stuff and asks
#various questions that are supposed to gauge
#our sense of morality
#defense attorney does the same thing, but from
#a different angle
#both ask 2-3 people an 'insightful' question,
#each lawyer asking at least 2-3 questions.
#if some people have answers that they would
#rather keep private, but that may divulge
#some sort of bias, they can go into chambers
#to discuss this possible bias privately,
#usually resulting in the juror being excused
while len(jury_box) > 11 and\
len(jury_box)+len(remaining_jurors) > 13:
#alternate between the prosecuting attorney
#and the defense attorney, choosing jurors
#to be removed, using the next from 13...18
#replacement strategy, as basically described
#in the previous while loop
Please note that all prospective jurors are sitting in the court room.
Now, many of you will note how long and involved it is to understand. Or really, how many lines of code it takes to describe. Yeah, I know. The process was a pain in the ass. Sure, it is algorithmically (and likely mathematically) elegant, but damn is it a pain in the ass.
I was called in during the first round. I was #13. Juror #3 was excused, and I took his place.
By the time I was excused/removed/whatever, Juror #2 and I were the only ones from the initial selection process still there. There had been 4 or 5 rounds. Oh, while people were in chambers talking with the judge (usually no more than 3-4 minutes), I'd be playing Metroid Fusion. The 'sleep' feature is awesome.
In the round just before I was dismissed, the guy to my left was dismissed, and a stupid bitch replaced him. She was now Juror #4. When being asked questions, she had gone on about some really stupid thing and just wouldn't shut up. When the first guy was called into chambers...
(I'm playing Metroid Fusion)
#4: I don't think you're supposed to do that.
Me: I think if it was a big deal the bailiff would tell me so
#4: God I could use a smoke...how long do they normally take in chambers? (she had been there as long as the rest of us, one would figure that she would have paid attention)
#5: (to #4) Why did you go on about that needlessly? (referring to her answers to questions)
#4: I didn't wan't to lie about what I thought, I mean, I don't have any reason to lie about anything, and hey, they pay like $17/day, and I'm unemployed right now, so that works.
Me: Yeah, but it'd get you out of here pretty quick
#4: I don't lie because, it's like, karma. Aren't you worried about karma?
Me: I rescue snails from sidewalks, my karma is fine.
(#4 stands up to leave, just as the Judge comes back from chambers)
#4: Can I use the bathroom for a second?
Judge: Sure.
(#4 leaves the courtroom)
(Judge and one potential juror leave the courtroom to discuss something)
(2 minutes later the judge comes back)
Judge: Where...oh yeah, bathroom. Hey (bailiff's name)...
Bailiff: There are some places even I can't go.
(Judge gets up and walks out of the courtroom to get #4)
(Judge comes back in, speaks with the two attorneys, likely about the fact that #4 lied about going to the bathroom, and nods to the bailiff)
Judge: Ms. (juror's name), would you please sit next to Mr. Carlson?
(She moves to sit to my left)
(the old #4 starts to come in, but the bailiff catches her and hands her the "thank you for playing, you don't get to be on a jury" card)
The question on my mind is whether that was a clever ploy, or whether she really was that stupid. My money is on stupid.
Anyways, when it was all said and done, I had 3 hours of play time into Fusion (my first time playing it), and was just arriving back to the ship for the quick "hey, these animals hopped on the ship" message. Later that night I played for another 10 minutes and got to the whole "run from SA-X" part. Fuck me. I tried it like 10 times, but I couldn't do it right. I read walkthroughs, speed running guides, etc., and none had any suggestions to help me deal with it.
Yeah, no shit, shoot SA-X with an ice missile. Run through the door, drop a super bomb quick, shoot SA-X with another ice missile. Run through the door, hold L while shooting and jumping and climbing to get through the doors, hide.
What is so difficult about that? Oh, I don't know, the fact that SA-X can kill you by touching or shooting you 3 times. The fact that it unfreezes in about 1.5 seconds. The fact that it's a jumping puzzle with the most deadly enemy looking to kill you during the chase, and you can't even harm it (just freeze it). I'm not sure I'm even going to finish the game with that asshole stopping me. I suppose we'll see.