ghost roads emo cordy
gr, august 03. during coma.
I knew something was wrong. there was nothing, and then i was aware. I lay here unable to move or speak, stuck in a blackness with occasional dreams.
i have the visions again, it has been so long since i had one.
I can see things and i know they can not be real....
Sunnydale is gone. I know this from the bottom of my heart to the deepest parts of my soul.
I see so much while i am caught in this dark i am unable to escape from.
i wish i could wake up and go see Angel. I dont know whats happened, but i feel like i have been asleep for so long. my body heals as i sleep, but i do not know what it heals from.
I stir...i can feel myself move, but i am unable to open my eyes. I swear i heard somebody crying. I long to wake up, but do not know what i will wake up to. when did i enter into this sleep..i cant remember.
i am afraid to know what is happening....and how did i get here?
aug 22 03. coma.
i melted into the darkness and became part of it again. it surrounded me, and yet i was part of it. somewhere in this lay the key to why i can't wake up again.
what did i do to deserve the pain that surrounds me? something weighs me down so completely. i know whatever it was could not be helped, but it does not stop the ache for them....
there is only one thing i need, and its not here.
i felt Wes leave me, and i fell deeper the second he was gone. the light he brought went out and i was lost again.
are they my lifelines? i dont remember something thats very important... it holds me hostage each day, because I know i am not as strong as they all thought. I can not save myself. I can't heal myself.
There is a blackness that hides in me and i am unable to destroy it. it locks me here so close to my fear.
the dark whispers to me and drags me further away. it tells me i have been forgotten, that no one thinks of me or misses me. that i have nothing to wake up to.
is the voice telling me the truth? i doubt everything so much. Why has no one else come to see me since Wesley was gone? why have i not felt Angel here?
is it all as i feared?
am i truly alone here?