Sticks and Stones and Weed and Bones

[chop]

Sometimes I wish I could go back to what I use to do and just get high, a lot. Turn on some good music, smoke, maybe even take a left over Vicodin. Especially when feeling depressed. I supposed I could theres nothing stopping me but its not the same. Like so many other things. Which is all yes part of life. Its not like I did any better then but at

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[chestopus]

I miss being able to let loose and be stoned. It is so different now, for me too. The only time I really smoke now is when Artie and I want to enhance sexual experiences. It acts as a muscle relaxant for both of us. We used it more before he had surgery. Now, he's worried that he'll overextend himself on accident and pay for it later so we haven't really done it much. When we went upstairs for dinner, Peggy kept smoking and offering it to us, and it was really weird for me to automatically decline. It was also weird trying to defend myself. I said something about how I tend to smoke more when it is warm out or something. I don't know. Such a change. When we were in high school, I would probably never turn down a couple hits. ha

[chop]

I've always felt like an impostor with art. I think thats why it has been so easy for me to let it go.

[chestopus]

what!

[chestopus]

P.S. Volunteer somewhere!