love? suck my dick....
soooo i guess i only write in here when i feel really hurt....how emo.... whateve. anyways i stil love abel but i can feel myself getting over him, but that kinda hurts, because i know when i tell him ive moved on its going to hurt hium so bad. even though it really shouldnt be cause he has a gf and hes perfectly happy withher and hes in love with her and the woorld is a wonderful place when shes there! *puke* whatever. i still find myself waiting for him toi get online or for him to call me...he still has me wrapped around his finger and i hate it, but i ove it at the same time. i get so happy when i talk to him, the i snal back into reality and remember hes taken :[[[ then i think fuck dude love sucks, but i refuse to let all my fucked up relationshi[ps ruin love for me, becausae love truly is a beautiful thing . anyways, i miss him terribly. dont get me wrong, i like other guys, well guy. but abel will always be my number one, even if im not his, maybe thats pathetic and typical girl-like, but its true. sometimes i dont like it, but at the same time i kinda like loving him but i realllly wish hed feel the same way. im working reallyhard on this whole moioving on thing, and im kinda into this guy named tommy, which is funny cuz hayleys bf s name is tommy, but hea really really really nice and hes way sweet and he always has sweet things and he trys to talk to me every night even if its just to say goodnight and sweet dreams before he goes to bed, but sometimes im not online so hell send me an off line message. and when ever im talking to tommy, i feel like im finally over abel, but then i talk to abel or see his picture or see something that reminds me of him and then i realize im not over him, but ill never be completely over him and i have to be ok with that, and i have to grit my teeth and bare it, cuz its gonna hurt no matter what, i just reallly dont want to hurt abel i really dont, he means more to me than nay other boy ever and if i hurt hiim it would absolutley kill me, honestly i dont like to hurt anyones feelings but hurting abel feling would make me fel like the biggest shit in the whole world! , well ive got that out and i know its safe here lol well i gotta get ready for work, so later.