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ariseishirou April 7 2010, 23:14:52 UTC
It took longer than it should have because it was really, really long >_>

That said it's not like it was boring. It was really, really hot. With a nice payoff. Well-plotted porn, if there is such a thing. A little slow in the beginning, but I know how that can be. It's hard to "set the scene" for what is essentially going to be shameless PWP.

It's not like we get deeply into Clyde or Salem or Dalton's characters here, but it's a neat touch that everything is through Dalton's eyes ;3 Scheming bastard, he keeps his hands clean throughout the whole scenario - it reminds me, in the best way possible, a great deal of Sue's fics.

I.e., dark non-con porn without trying to be h/c or ~~edgy~~. Only difference is you keep everyone in character.

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I tried to challenge myself here, can you tell? choffman April 7 2010, 23:39:37 UTC
I really tried to keep the intro as short as possible. Give the bare bones about the setup and get straight to the action. In retrospect it's possible that I could have saved the first bit of Dalton introspection until later on in the narrative - and I considered it - but then I decided it was best to get it out of the way early on rather than break up the action too much ( ... )

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