Bump N' Grind
Song of the night being, “My Humps” Black Eyed Peas
Be careful of what you read…because it’s all true.
“Hey you, me, Cardwell………stripclub.” (as said by Ty) several days before our journey.
So Andrew, Ty, and me went to Centerfolds in SF this last Tuesday. To start off that day I went to several banks to round up some money. Then I went home and made some mixes for the ride to and from the city. I had dinner at Kim and Adams house (Frozen White Castle Cheeseburgers and a French Baguette…dinner of champions). Then around 7:30 Ty and Andrew showed up and we left from my house for the city.
Upon showing up to the city we got parking (which took 20 valuable minutes) and then emptied our pockets of all but the essentials…cash and ID. We walked in, paid the $25 cover charge, and entered the main room. (sigh…) what a visual! Upon entering we walked down the stairs and took some seats in the middle. Walking around the room there were around 7 or 8 girls (obviously scantily clad) walking around to customers and asking if they would like a lap dance. (Dances were $20 for them clothed, $40 for topless, $60 for nude. They usually lasted a song but randomly during the night they had 2 for 1 specials or an extra long song. Meaning, I’ve never wanted to hear Stairway to Heaven worse in my life) To our left there was the small and more up close and personal stage while in front of us there was the main stage. There was a dancer on each one. Soon after sitting down girls started coming to us and asking if we would like dances.
The polite way to say “no” is to just say, “Not right now but come back later.” This was usually accepted politely but there were some that were pushy as hell. One came to me and just took my hand and started walking away with me and I was like, “No, no, no…if I want a dance I’ll come to you.” (she wasn’t my type anyways).
We were enjoying just chilling and watching some very fine girls dance naked. The music was pretty good but some of it was really random like for example they played Creedance Clearwater…a song about baseball is not exactly a song you would think to hear at a strip club but it’s all good. The girls kept coming around and asking us for dances. Ty finally gave in first. The girl took him by the hand and led him to the back. The girl he had was okay but I was picky.
He came back and girls kept coming by but there were two that I wanted specifically. The blond one came by and I said no the first time. About a half hour later she finally came by again and at the perfect time. It was an extra long song (which still isn’t long but still). “Are you ready for a dance?” “Yes I am.” She took my hand and led me to the back where there was a row of black stalls on the right and left. She picked one and led me in. She was a very nice girl and not pushy. I chose her over others because she was beautiful and not hot…she was real. We talked a bit. She introduced herself as Candace. She asked what my name was and where I was from. When I said that I was from Napa she was like, “Oh really? That’s where I’m from. Which high-school did you go to? Vintage or Napa?” “Justin” “Oh that’s cool. I graduated from Vintage in 2002. (which means she’s 21, which is a good thing) So which will it be the 20, 40, or 60 dollar dance? I think you should go with the 60.” “…*sigh*…I think I should too.” And with that I sat down and…well…she started the dance. It was so beautiful in the weirdest way. Only the slightest amount of touching allowed for the person getting the dance. But she’s allowed to bump grind and do whatever, which she did. But the sexiest thing about this particular girl was her eyes. She had Baby soft skin with the scent of vanilla, coconut, and….
The dance ended. “Thank you for a very nice dance. It was nice to meet you.” She gave me a hug and I left the back room. I sat back down with Andrew and Ty and continued the evening, which just had it’s high point which is not to say there weren’t others…
I left the main stage seating where we were and went to the side stage where the other girl I liked was dancing, and doing a great job of it. After her dance on the stage there was a complimentary lap dance in the main room for everybody. At first one girl that I didn’t like came to me and said, “I guess you’re my date.” I simply said, “no” I hope she wasn’t offended. Then the girl that was just dancing came to me for the complimentary one. Amazing once again, not nude or private but great. I would have gotten the cheapest dance with her if I hadn’t given her a dollar when she was on stage. Only $1 short…damn. I went back over to my friends who were running low on cash and so decided to leave and find the ATM. We left and I got another $20. We went back and stayed another 2 hours. All the girls were always rotating on the stages and the girl Candace came up twice; once on the side stage and once on the main stage. On the side stage she did the classic stripper move of asking you to pull your head closer and basically rubbing your head between her breasts. Once again no matter how hot her body was the best thing about her was her eyes. Mostly everybody pays most of their attention to the strippers breasts, pussy, and ass which are all hard to miss but her eyes were harder to look away from.
After her dance I again joined my friends at the main stage where we spent another half hour…but then the girl came on the main stage which I thought was very unattractive and moved again to the side stage. And as soon as I sat down the girl (who had a nurses top on) kneeled down in front of me and asked, “Would you like to undress me?” I admit most of my blood was not present in my brain but it doesn’t take much to get that question right coming from a hot stripper. “Yes.” I sat up and put my hands on her already half unbuttoned shirt and ripped the rest of it apart and then she did the face in between the breasts thing which was very pleasant. After she was finished dancing she wanted to know if I wanted a lap dance but I had a whole $0 left and said I would but I didn’t have enough money. Ol’ well. Soon after this we were all pretty much cleaned out and we became aware that we had been there for quite a long time. We became aware of this when one of the strippers on the main stage whispered something to us that she thought we had been there for awhile which she thought was funny. But we were all out of money anyways and it was 2:30AM so we left. We all left happy.
We drove back to Napa where I brought Ty back to his car at Andews house. Andrew went inside to get a movie and then came to my house with me. At my house we made some martinis with Gin…stirred not shaken (James Bond was wrong I’m sorry to say) and made some burgers. Then we went upstairs and played some video games and pool and three martinis later, watching Oceans 12 for about 10 minutes before falling asleep. I mean, it was around 5AM. But we ended up just waking up and watching it.
Be careful of what you read…because it’s all true.
“Hey you, me, Cardwell………stripclub.” (as said by Ty) several days before our journey.
So Andrew, Ty, and me went to Centerfolds in SF this last Tuesday. To start off that day I went to several banks to round up some money. Then I went home and made some mixes for the ride to and from the city. I had dinner at Kim and Adams house (Frozen White Castle Cheeseburgers and a French Baguette…dinner of champions). Then around 7:30 Ty and Andrew showed up and we left from my house for the city.
Upon showing up to the city we got parking (which took 20 valuable minutes) and then emptied our pockets of all but the essentials…cash and ID. We walked in, paid the $25 cover charge, and entered the main room. (sigh…) what a visual! Upon entering we walked down the stairs and took some seats in the middle. Walking around the room there were around 7 or 8 girls (obviously scantily clad) walking around to customers and asking if they would like a lap dance. (Dances were $20 for them clothed, $40 for topless, $60 for nude. They usually lasted a song but randomly during the night they had 2 for 1 specials or an extra long song. Meaning, I’ve never wanted to hear Stairway to Heaven worse in my life) To our left there was the small and more up close and personal stage while in front of us there was the main stage. There was a dancer on each one. Soon after sitting down girls started coming to us and asking if we would like dances.
The polite way to say “no” is to just say, “Not right now but come back later.” This was usually accepted politely but there were some that were pushy as hell. One came to me and just took my hand and started walking away with me and I was like, “No, no, no…if I want a dance I’ll come to you.” (she wasn’t my type anyways).
We were enjoying just chilling and watching some very fine girls dance naked. The music was pretty good but some of it was really random like for example they played Creedance Clearwater…a song about baseball is not exactly a song you would think to hear at a strip club but it’s all good. The girls kept coming around and asking us for dances. Ty finally gave in first. The girl took him by the hand and led him to the back. The girl he had was okay but I was picky.
He came back and girls kept coming by but there were two that I wanted specifically. The blond one came by and I said no the first time. About a half hour later she finally came by again and at the perfect time. It was an extra long song (which still isn’t long but still). “Are you ready for a dance?” “Yes I am.” She took my hand and led me to the back where there was a row of black stalls on the right and left. She picked one and led me in. She was a very nice girl and not pushy. I chose her over others because she was beautiful and not hot…she was real. We talked a bit. She introduced herself as Candace. She asked what my name was and where I was from. When I said that I was from Napa she was like, “Oh really? That’s where I’m from. Which high-school did you go to? Vintage or Napa?” “Justin” “Oh that’s cool. I graduated from Vintage in 2002. (which means she’s 21, which is a good thing) So which will it be the 20, 40, or 60 dollar dance? I think you should go with the 60.” “…*sigh*…I think I should too.” And with that I sat down and…well…she started the dance. It was so beautiful in the weirdest way. Only the slightest amount of touching allowed for the person getting the dance. But she’s allowed to bump grind and do whatever, which she did. But the sexiest thing about this particular girl was her eyes. She had Baby soft skin with the scent of vanilla, coconut, and….
The dance ended. “Thank you for a very nice dance. It was nice to meet you.” She gave me a hug and I left the back room. I sat back down with Andrew and Ty and continued the evening, which just had it’s high point which is not to say there weren’t others…
I left the main stage seating where we were and went to the side stage where the other girl I liked was dancing, and doing a great job of it. After her dance on the stage there was a complimentary lap dance in the main room for everybody. At first one girl that I didn’t like came to me and said, “I guess you’re my date.” I simply said, “no” I hope she wasn’t offended. Then the girl that was just dancing came to me for the complimentary one. Amazing once again, not nude or private but great. I would have gotten the cheapest dance with her if I hadn’t given her a dollar when she was on stage. Only $1 short…damn. I went back over to my friends who were running low on cash and so decided to leave and find the ATM. We left and I got another $20. We went back and stayed another 2 hours. All the girls were always rotating on the stages and the girl Candace came up twice; once on the side stage and once on the main stage. On the side stage she did the classic stripper move of asking you to pull your head closer and basically rubbing your head between her breasts. Once again no matter how hot her body was the best thing about her was her eyes. Mostly everybody pays most of their attention to the strippers breasts, pussy, and ass which are all hard to miss but her eyes were harder to look away from.
After her dance I again joined my friends at the main stage where we spent another half hour…but then the girl came on the main stage which I thought was very unattractive and moved again to the side stage. And as soon as I sat down the girl (who had a nurses top on) kneeled down in front of me and asked, “Would you like to undress me?” I admit most of my blood was not present in my brain but it doesn’t take much to get that question right coming from a hot stripper. “Yes.” I sat up and put my hands on her already half unbuttoned shirt and ripped the rest of it apart and then she did the face in between the breasts thing which was very pleasant. After she was finished dancing she wanted to know if I wanted a lap dance but I had a whole $0 left and said I would but I didn’t have enough money. Ol’ well. Soon after this we were all pretty much cleaned out and we became aware that we had been there for quite a long time. We became aware of this when one of the strippers on the main stage whispered something to us that she thought we had been there for awhile which she thought was funny. But we were all out of money anyways and it was 2:30AM so we left. We all left happy.
We drove back to Napa where I brought Ty back to his car at Andews house. Andrew went inside to get a movie and then came to my house with me. At my house we made some martinis with Gin…stirred not shaken (James Bond was wrong I’m sorry to say) and made some burgers. Then we went upstairs and played some video games and pool and three martinis later, watching Oceans 12 for about 10 minutes before falling asleep. I mean, it was around 5AM. But we ended up just waking up and watching it.