*sighs*
well
i'm not so stressed today.
senior pictures are over, and i'm burning country cds for a few deserving friends *smiles* but still the lingering sadness...
i dreamed a lot last night. i told timothy a bit this morning, when he and i went to breakfast *smiles* mmm... but there was more.
i climbed up out of the river... i was in a city, it was rochester, mn, but it was more like an old european city, structured much like a cross between rome and sicily. yes... so i climbed out, and there was my father. like he was before we knew. but i already knew, he already knew, he was here for treatment, he was dying. he was wearing black.
i climbed out. and we walked.
i have forgotten much of this dream, how i wish i hadn't.
but the last thing i remember is he and i standing on a huge stone balcony overlooking a giant circular courtyard where people walked and pigeons pecked the ground. it was cold, it was brisk. he was dying.
but i woke up and i felt at peace.
because in my dream i had done things right, things had been okay. he died, but it was okay...
i know i am repeat myself... i have no words for what happened, or how i feel. do you believe in the power of dreams? i don't dream like that usually... i will accept it as it is.
for long enough this has hurt me. i think it is time to let go.
on another note, i spent the morning with timothy. *smiles* what a wonderful wake up call... so much better than the earlier alarm. i love rain... and breakfast was yummy, and walmart was fun *laughs* the place for dates! *smiles* and the walk was enjoyable until bugs wandered out... and he finally saw the kidney bean!!
grandma is kind of sick.. she's in the hospital and they pumped a gallon of fluid out of her lungs already, and now they have found that she's not getting enough oxygen, her lung capillaries aren't expanding enough... so she is staying the hospital for a bit, and undergoing treatment, and may go home with an oxygen tank.
i may be going to eau claire for the weekend. yay! *sighs* fun fun. it will give me ample time to continue rewriting lover's lost so maybe someday (in my wildest dreams) it may be for sale? no... i think not, but maybe.
*cold*
i'm not so stressed today.
senior pictures are over, and i'm burning country cds for a few deserving friends *smiles* but still the lingering sadness...
i dreamed a lot last night. i told timothy a bit this morning, when he and i went to breakfast *smiles* mmm... but there was more.
i climbed up out of the river... i was in a city, it was rochester, mn, but it was more like an old european city, structured much like a cross between rome and sicily. yes... so i climbed out, and there was my father. like he was before we knew. but i already knew, he already knew, he was here for treatment, he was dying. he was wearing black.
i climbed out. and we walked.
i have forgotten much of this dream, how i wish i hadn't.
but the last thing i remember is he and i standing on a huge stone balcony overlooking a giant circular courtyard where people walked and pigeons pecked the ground. it was cold, it was brisk. he was dying.
but i woke up and i felt at peace.
because in my dream i had done things right, things had been okay. he died, but it was okay...
i know i am repeat myself... i have no words for what happened, or how i feel. do you believe in the power of dreams? i don't dream like that usually... i will accept it as it is.
for long enough this has hurt me. i think it is time to let go.
on another note, i spent the morning with timothy. *smiles* what a wonderful wake up call... so much better than the earlier alarm. i love rain... and breakfast was yummy, and walmart was fun *laughs* the place for dates! *smiles* and the walk was enjoyable until bugs wandered out... and he finally saw the kidney bean!!
grandma is kind of sick.. she's in the hospital and they pumped a gallon of fluid out of her lungs already, and now they have found that she's not getting enough oxygen, her lung capillaries aren't expanding enough... so she is staying the hospital for a bit, and undergoing treatment, and may go home with an oxygen tank.
i may be going to eau claire for the weekend. yay! *sighs* fun fun. it will give me ample time to continue rewriting lover's lost so maybe someday (in my wildest dreams) it may be for sale? no... i think not, but maybe.
*cold*