Daddy dearest
It's funny. We all hear that if you don't have a father or father figure that you're screwed, in some way or another. If you have one that doesn't quite measure up, essentially being some kind of 1950s model, you're screwed. I had a friend sleep over last month and she, myself and my sister got into the topic of fathers. She didn't grow up with her father and my sister and I did. It's strange that no matter what happens, especially to girls, that they're somehow messed up when it comes to life and relationships of their preferred sex. I don't know what happened between my parents getting together until the present day bit it might not be in one's best interest to say that they can't stand females and that they're good for nothing and useless, etc. Not in a whispered voice, mind you and when you have a house consisting of a wife and two daughters. I'll be surprised if my brother is a good boyfriend. We haven't exactly had the best models. Myself? I'm slowly realizing that I'm kind of becoming like my mother. In a way With that realization and admission, I need someone to load the shotgun ready. I do have a tendency to put up with my fair share, and after some 8 years with the same person, I suppose that's bound to happen.
This is nothing that has happened recently. I'm just up from not having slept and it was going through my mind, along with some other (ir)relevant subjects. It's weird because my mother has told my sister and I that my father treats us like princesses and treats us as such. Thing is, around this house at least, being called a prince or princess is pretty much an insult. Strange, I'm aware. My brother would be exempt because he's never here and my mother ends up doing everything for him anyway while bitching and/or yelling at me about whatever he might have done to put her in a foul mood. Whenever they used the term princess us to one of us, it would be the equivalent of calling someone a lazy, no good, worthless, such-and-such. There are plenty of females who go around loving the word princess and being told that they are since they were little girls and wanting that for their weddings, etc. If I was ever told that by someone, like a guy, the first instinct is to get defensive. I then have to say never to call me that because of X,Y,Z.
I'm aware of the fact that no relationship can be picture-perfect and I'm definitely of an age where I'm more than aware that my parents aren't these mythical, flawless creatures. I don't think my father and I will ever have one of those relationships where they improve once I move out or get a bit older or have children. Admittedly, he's a bit of a bully. Definitely the kind of person who will pick on someone smaller and/or weaker and/or female. Classic bully behavior. I've seen it for a nice majority of elementary school. Perhaps I'm just getting to point where I need to be aware of male behavior and "daddy issues". I'm sure I have them though these days it wouldn't be surprising if the "experts" said all of us females do. I am becoming quite aware that I'm having a tendency to put up with more than I ought to, than I thought I ever would. But that's a story for another day.
Perhaps the lack of sleep is just allowing me to open up a bit more when I should be doing something beneficial to my health...like sleeping.
This is nothing that has happened recently. I'm just up from not having slept and it was going through my mind, along with some other (ir)relevant subjects. It's weird because my mother has told my sister and I that my father treats us like princesses and treats us as such. Thing is, around this house at least, being called a prince or princess is pretty much an insult. Strange, I'm aware. My brother would be exempt because he's never here and my mother ends up doing everything for him anyway while bitching and/or yelling at me about whatever he might have done to put her in a foul mood. Whenever they used the term princess us to one of us, it would be the equivalent of calling someone a lazy, no good, worthless, such-and-such. There are plenty of females who go around loving the word princess and being told that they are since they were little girls and wanting that for their weddings, etc. If I was ever told that by someone, like a guy, the first instinct is to get defensive. I then have to say never to call me that because of X,Y,Z.
I'm aware of the fact that no relationship can be picture-perfect and I'm definitely of an age where I'm more than aware that my parents aren't these mythical, flawless creatures. I don't think my father and I will ever have one of those relationships where they improve once I move out or get a bit older or have children. Admittedly, he's a bit of a bully. Definitely the kind of person who will pick on someone smaller and/or weaker and/or female. Classic bully behavior. I've seen it for a nice majority of elementary school. Perhaps I'm just getting to point where I need to be aware of male behavior and "daddy issues". I'm sure I have them though these days it wouldn't be surprising if the "experts" said all of us females do. I am becoming quite aware that I'm having a tendency to put up with more than I ought to, than I thought I ever would. But that's a story for another day.
Perhaps the lack of sleep is just allowing me to open up a bit more when I should be doing something beneficial to my health...like sleeping.