(no subject)
If I end up with Alzheimers as I fear, rather than with my Grandpa's good genes, then I want to be put out of my misery. It is a slow and excruciating way to die. My Grandma lost her memories, her speech, and her mobility. She can grip onto things, move her head back and forth to look at people, and drink through a straw. We are actually hoping that she may have a relatively quick and peaceful death. Perhaps a sudden heart attack or stroke. My fear is that instead, she will lose her ability to drink liquids, and die a slow and terrible death of starvation and dehydration. My bigger fear is that will happen to me in 40 years. Every time I can't recall the word that I want to use, ice runs through my veins. What if I leave Daniel in the same way that my Grandma is leaving my Grandpa? I would want euthanasia. It is far kinder. I want that for my Grandma, but it is not an option here. This is not life. There is no miracle that can occur, other than a quick death.