(no subject)
OK, time for me to spew. I can't do it on fb, because too many relatives "friended" me there.
Yesterday my doctor told me "Your uterus is trying to kill you." I've been feeling that way for a while now, since it feels like it's trying to claw its way out of my body. It's also been trying to bleed me dry, to the point where my hemoglobin levels are 50% of what they should be. So I might have to get a hysterectomy. At age 35. When I say that I'm my own worst enemy, i really and truly mean it. my body is trying to kill me. is it trying to get back at me for the suicide attempts in my early 20s? Anyway, I have an appointment with a Specialist, who is the head of the Hysterectomy Alternatives program. I'm sure we'll discuss endometrial ablation first. Because having my endometrial lining burned, frozen, or microwaved out of me sounds so awesome. If they can get into the steel fortress of my cervix. I already tried having an IUD, which was supposed to be able to help stop the bleeding, but it wouldn't dilate enough to let anything through. Three different pairs of forceps and a bunch of stabbing, and nada. Anyway, if i go with EA, then they also probably have to tie my tubes while they're in me, because a woman can still get pregnant after the procedure, it would just end very very badly. And that shouldn't be a very big deal, because my doctor and I are pretty sure that i'm already unable to have children. Come on, if the ol' uterus hates me, why would it be kind to any other invasion? But even that procedure doesn't guarantee that the bleeding will stop. I've never had cramps this bad before, it really is like someone is scraping from the inside out. 800mg of ibuprofen hasn't helped, even though I've taken it as I'm supposed to. Oh, and my appointment with the specialist - it's in a MONTH. This pain had better subside by then. When I told me doctor last night that i'm willing to have a hysterectomy because this all sucks so bad, she said that I could probably have one done if I go to the er and describe my current blood loss and pain. But does giving up my uterus make me less female? Am I truly just the sum of my parts?
Yesterday my doctor told me "Your uterus is trying to kill you." I've been feeling that way for a while now, since it feels like it's trying to claw its way out of my body. It's also been trying to bleed me dry, to the point where my hemoglobin levels are 50% of what they should be. So I might have to get a hysterectomy. At age 35. When I say that I'm my own worst enemy, i really and truly mean it. my body is trying to kill me. is it trying to get back at me for the suicide attempts in my early 20s? Anyway, I have an appointment with a Specialist, who is the head of the Hysterectomy Alternatives program. I'm sure we'll discuss endometrial ablation first. Because having my endometrial lining burned, frozen, or microwaved out of me sounds so awesome. If they can get into the steel fortress of my cervix. I already tried having an IUD, which was supposed to be able to help stop the bleeding, but it wouldn't dilate enough to let anything through. Three different pairs of forceps and a bunch of stabbing, and nada. Anyway, if i go with EA, then they also probably have to tie my tubes while they're in me, because a woman can still get pregnant after the procedure, it would just end very very badly. And that shouldn't be a very big deal, because my doctor and I are pretty sure that i'm already unable to have children. Come on, if the ol' uterus hates me, why would it be kind to any other invasion? But even that procedure doesn't guarantee that the bleeding will stop. I've never had cramps this bad before, it really is like someone is scraping from the inside out. 800mg of ibuprofen hasn't helped, even though I've taken it as I'm supposed to. Oh, and my appointment with the specialist - it's in a MONTH. This pain had better subside by then. When I told me doctor last night that i'm willing to have a hysterectomy because this all sucks so bad, she said that I could probably have one done if I go to the er and describe my current blood loss and pain. But does giving up my uterus make me less female? Am I truly just the sum of my parts?