revelation
up all night last night from worrying, that hasn't happened in months. i've had nothing to worry about. it was such an unfamiliar feeling that instead of really feeling "worried" i simply felt sick, my head hurt, and the lack of sleep. it was so weird and just...unfamiliar.
another thing i realized last night: IN THE GENERAL SENSE, i actually am a jealous person...i'm just don't verbalize it. it's so weird though because my whole life i always "prided" myself in not being a jealous person when in fact, i am. i don't just mean in an intimate relationship, but in my closest friendships too. but the revelation part of the whole thing is that it feels okay to be jealous, you just can't let jealousy control you. YOU control how you deal with the jealousy. i just maybe need to talk about it more if i feel that way.
ah, the little things you can learn about yourself everyday. i find that i learn from the slightest gestures.
on another note, i christmas shopped today. it ROCKED. i really do feel like i was frugal and got a lot done. i'm excited to see if it can be finished by tomorrow. WE SHALL SEE!
the way life can just take you in several full circles before you realize you've been around a second time...it defintely throws me off. but i'd rather be thrown off than sitting in my seat all the time.
c
h
i
z
another thing i realized last night: IN THE GENERAL SENSE, i actually am a jealous person...i'm just don't verbalize it. it's so weird though because my whole life i always "prided" myself in not being a jealous person when in fact, i am. i don't just mean in an intimate relationship, but in my closest friendships too. but the revelation part of the whole thing is that it feels okay to be jealous, you just can't let jealousy control you. YOU control how you deal with the jealousy. i just maybe need to talk about it more if i feel that way.
ah, the little things you can learn about yourself everyday. i find that i learn from the slightest gestures.
on another note, i christmas shopped today. it ROCKED. i really do feel like i was frugal and got a lot done. i'm excited to see if it can be finished by tomorrow. WE SHALL SEE!
the way life can just take you in several full circles before you realize you've been around a second time...it defintely throws me off. but i'd rather be thrown off than sitting in my seat all the time.
c
h
i
z