Excellent Jobs You Could Have

[chitinous]

So my ex works as a building inspector for the City Of Los Angeles, investigating long-abandoned residences that are garnering complaints from the neighbors. That means he gets paid for this trendy and definitely hype-worthy pastime of urban exploration, and he doesn't have to worry about getting popped for trespassing, either. He trundles in with his little checklist, pokes around, and then officially tells the building owners to take care of their property. He works nine-hour days four days a week and gets every other Monday off. On three-day weekends that fall on his Monday-off weeks, he gets a four-day weekend. This isn't even mentioning the generous pay, the comprehensive health care, the 401k, the pension plan, the really long lunches, or the occasional get-out-of-parking-tickets-free placards.

D's job is sheer yawn 'o clock, though, compared to some other city inspector gigs. Consider the following.

Tent-Pitcher For The Oscars

Poles! Canvas! Glamour!

Porn Counting Inspector

Bookstores containing 50% or more adult material are required to bill themselves as adult bookstores. Someone has to tally the goods.

Titty Bar Inspector

You probably knew about this already, but full-nudity strip clubs are not permitted to serve alcohol, and...that's right, someone's got to make sure everything's all hunky-dory at the naked lady joints.

Pretty awesome, right? Don't tell Barack Obama, because this would be a bad time for him to be tempted into a career change.